My last day of work was Friday.  I worked Thursday and Friday this past week and on Thursday, they had a potluck luncheon for me which was lovely.  Last weekend the MRI manager and his wife had bought me a gift certificate for Michael's and I remembered a video I had seen of young women at a bridal shower, painting their arms with fabric paint and then hugging the bride to be who was wearing a white shirt.  I thought this was a wonderful idea and bought paint and a t-shirt with the gift certificate.

The first thing one of my young nurses did, was paint a pair of droopy boobs on the t-shirt, complete with nipples.  People signed the shirt and left messages for me on it and near the end of the day, I went around asking people if they wanted to give me a hug.  One of the young nurses, asked if she could put her handprints on the boobs.  Of course I said and so she did.  The afternoon was lovely and I got to say goodbye to people and get lots of hugs. 

Friday was my actual last day, usually a day spent swanning around and chatting with people.  I was the only regular staff on, everybody else was casual.  Usually a CT tech comes out to help us with IVs but they were short staffed so had nobody to spare.  The first problem, a patient whose chart said she'd had a severe allergic (skin peeling off severe) to CT dye (she wasn't, the nurse who charted that made a mistake) and that took half an hour to sort out but I did learn how to look back at the nursing notes made while the patient was in the RAH. 

The next problem was kidney function tests.  Normally we do our own creatinine tests but there is a shortage of the cartridges needed to do this, so we had to draw our own blood, order the tests, print the correct labels and take it down to the lab and none of us really knew how to do that.  That took almost an hour to sort out, plus grumpy, frustrated nurses. 

The next problem was a patient with a strange mark in the middle of her port (implanted vascular access device) that shouldn't have been there.  We had a rad, reluctantly, come to look at, who then wanted a systemic (chemo) nurse to take a look at it.  It wasn't infected, yet, but it wasn't right either.  The decision was made to start an IV instead and the patient informed me she had no veins.  And the poor patient thought she was going to die because of the port problem.  I reassured her while I heated up her arm, nothing catastrophic was going to happen until we could decided properly what do to with her port.  Fortunately, I got a very tiny IV in first time and she was able to have her CT scan without incident.

By the end of all of this, I was late for my break by an hour and half.  I don't do well without food but I held it together, although I did end up crying on my break.  What a shitty last day.  It didn't get much better and we ran our asses off until a regular staff came in at 1pm to cover the last half of the day.  She was surprised to see me and told me to go home, which I finally did.  Wasn't a great day and reinforced my decision to retire.

And then yesterday we took Jack to Brick Fest Live, an overpriced lego thing which Jack thoroughly enjoyed.

This morning the sun is shining and the cat wants to go out and then come in and then go out and then come in.  I've put my sheets on the line to dry and I'm going to take Miss Katie out shortly.

Unless you're a nurse.

Caught this bee working hard.  I used to be terrifed of bees but have come to love them.  They are hard working and they're all sisters.  

The wild roses are all blooming right now, filling the air with their lovely scent.

 I'm bored with no routine yet.  What a shock.

it's never too late to say you're sorry,

to ask for forgiveness,

to do better

it's never too late

to stop (insert addiction here)

it's never too late to learn

how to love yourself, 

to forgive yourself

it's never too late to stop

lying, to yourself and

those you love

it's never too late

to open your mind

and your heart

it's never too late

to stop judging

it's never too late

to make amends

to build bridges, 

instead of blowing them up

it's never too late

to be honest

it's never too late to choose 

love

 In The Battle Against Time

the first casualty was the floor,

dog hair was swept up into

a pile, the size of a small rodent,

and then the dogs were taken outside

brushed forcefully, only to have 

another pile, the size of a small

rodent to dispose of, and I pondered

attaching the vacuum, directly

to the dogs

the floor is now hairless, mostly

dog footprints linger everywhere

proof of all the rain, with 

more to come, which begs the question,

why bother?

my patience was the second casualty

youngest daughter saw the doctor

a three hour round trip which

involves driving asshats, a daughter 

who tugs on my arm, endlessly 

and old men with seemingly 

no idea of speed limits, tottering

along

groceries were bought, not

what I needed for tomorrow, 

but what I've run out of, now

the third casualty was the sink

the toilet was in need of a clean,

small clumps of shit

stuck to the rim, nobody

wants to see that, 

while I waited for the bedsheets 

to finish in the dryer

said toilet was given 

a once over, restored

to it's former glory

the sink can wait

the fourth casualty was

the dishes, some were

crammed into the dishwasher

others sit in the sink, stacked

ready for their bath

housework is like triage

who will see what

and how much dirt 

is acceptable

there is only so much time

in a day

hours spent driving,

walking dogs

prepping meals

something's got to give

today there were casualties

Dandelion, after the rain.

I tried taking the dogs to the off leash this morning.  There was a small dog in the paddock, so I couldn't put Charlie in there first to run off some of his energy and poop, so I let him loose in the main park.  He pooped and as I went to pick it up, my phone rang and as I went to answer it, Charlie ended up in a growling, snarling match with another dog, in the two seconds I was distracted.

The owner of the other dog was pissed, so I just decided to leave.  The thing is, Charlie only gets agressive when he's scared, but Heidi doesn't help because she has to put her two cents in as well, and then things go off the rails.  I ended up going for a walk in the neighborhood with Charlie on his leash but I walked a little to fast, didn't want to be late for my hair appointment, and really upset my right knee.

Three months ago, I slipped on the ice and wrenched by right shoulder, that is almost fully healed.  Two weeks ago while I was gardening, I did something to my right knee and it's very sore.  My knee is sore enough that I kind of fall onto the toilet seat, much like my mother used to.  I've been trying to support myself by hanging onto things which has made my back unhappy.  I'm fucking falling apart.  

Miss Katie turns thirty-two on Sunday.  Katie has three grey hairs now; she's obviously not going to grey young like I did.  It's hard to believe that it's been thirty-two years since she was born.  She was supposed to be called Annie but she was a giant baby, 10lbs 11oz, and didn't look like an Annie.  She ended up in NICU because her lungs were wet and she was hypotonic, but two nights after she was born, we took her home.  There is no way to describe how much I love this girl, or how much I worry about her.  She is my hard gift and the two of us are bound together as long as we're both alive.

My leopard's bane is blooming which makes me happy.  It was so cold the other day and today it's 24C (75F).  

This was my garden last year on June 5th and the photo below is one I just took today, June 8th.  I thought everything was severely delayed this year because of the cold weather but, except for the tomatoes, pumpkins and squash, the flowers look like they're at the same stage, slightly smaller but not too bad.

Hubby stained the deck and it looks so nice.  I planted carrots in the rectangular raised beds but Charlie dug them all up so I thought, screw it, and planted lots of flowers.  The dogs also chewed my clematis down to the ground so it's not up on the trellis yet, but it did survive.  The dogs also destroyed my male haskap bush, also chewed down to the ground over the winter.  I've been hoping that it would revive, but so far it hasn't.  It's cold and wet today, 6.6C (43F) but the dogs will still get their walks.

The photo above was taken on July 5th last summer, so I'll be able to compare the growth in another month.

Otherwise, not much.  Two days of work left.  I had a lovely patient yesterday and she had raised her granddaughter from birth, so we shared stories and it was so good to hear a happy story.  Jack is with his mom again.  Another judicial review comes up in a month and Jack also sees his lawyer in a couple of weeks.  Just regular nana stuff:)
  

The marsh marigolds are blooming at the dog park.  I'm always happy to see them bloom in the springtime, and they fill the boggy areas with their colour.

The dogs had a wonderful time, especially Charlie.  He doesn't walk at the park, he only runs.  

The ponds around Sherwood Park are slowly refilling with all the rain we've had over the past couple of weeks, making the ducks, coots and pelicans happy.  I think when I'm retired I'll spend some time at this pond, with my husband's telephoto lens, capturing the wildlife.

As for me, only four days of work left.  I finished up my CPR course yesterday, probably the last one I'll ever take, after forty years of CPR courses.  I saw a patient of mine yesterday whom I call my Georgia peach and I was so glad I got to say goodbye to her before I retired.  She's from Georgia and has a lovely southern accent.  She and her husband are driving down to Geogia this summer for their granddaughter's wedding.  I gave her a big hug and wished her well.

I saw another patient on Monday who looked vaguely familiar.  She is the same age as me and a trans woman but she was a man when she started coming to us ten years ago.  We talked, a lot, and she was so easy to talk to.  After we were all done and she was sitting in the hallway, I realized who she had been as a man.  I can't imagine how difficult it would be to go through a transition at our age.  What was so strange for me was how much we talked, much more than when she had been a man.  Was it her?  Was it me?  Do I treat men and women differently?  I'm sure I do but because I had her as both a man and a woman, I was shocked at how differently our conversation went.  Or was she just a lot happier as a woman?  Affected by the hormone changes in her body? Did she feel more comfortable sharing as a woman, than she ever was as a man? I don't know the answer but I do know it was lovely to see her.

Yesterday morning one of the xray techs gave me a small retirement gift and a card with a painting on it called, "Not Forgotten".  She told me how much she had enjoyed working with me and said that she would not forget me and then I burst into tears.  

Yesterday I was also working hard to finish up my CPR course online and one of the other nurses, the one who always does the bare minimum required, said that she needed to work on her course.  I told her that I only had four days of work left and I needed to complete the course.  I asked her when her CPR expired and she told me the end of June, mine expired a week ago so I told her that I'm going to leave the floor and finish it.  I stood up to her and I was proud of myself.  This is the same nurse that often has an "injury" just before summer and requires the summer off.  This year it's her back.  She was fine for four months of holidays but now that she's back to work, she can't manage.  Everyone is longing for her retirement.  She told me that she would not be able to make it to my retirement party and I bit my tongue and did not say, "I didn't want your there anyway."  

I worked very hard in the garden last weekend and I've been suffering with sore knees since, unable to sit down on the toilet without holding onto something.  It's getting better but I remember my mum having this same problem.  WTF!  I'll be pissed if everything starts to give out just as I retire:)