Monday, June 20, 2016

This is one of my favorite photos of Miss Katie, taken before the anxiety and self abuse took hold of her.  She has no calluses on her wrists from banging her mouth and no permanent bruise on her forehead from banging her head against the walls or floors.  The big guy warns me not to turn my back on Katie and he's right but a part of me can't let go of this imagine of my beautiful, happy daughter.  I grieve for my lost daughter all over again.

This is Miss Katie out celebrating her birthday with three lovely young women who used to be Katie's caregivers.  Three sisters who still care enough to take Katie out for supper on her birthday.

This reminds me that there is love and kindness all around us.  Sometimes I can forget.  It's so easy to see the meanness, the hatred, the fear.  It's so easy to go there but I don't want to.  I want to see the goodness in others.  I want to believe people can be their best selves.  I want to hope.

I'm on holidays this week which is lovely.  I have time.  Time to waste, time to be productive, time to do as I please and that is a gift for which I am deeply grateful.