Saturday, February 29, 2020

It's been a busy week, not sure why.  The photo below is the colors and pattern of the quilt I'm working on for my girlfriend, the photo is for Ms. Moon who wanted to see the quilt.

I can't show you the quilt spread out yet because the big guy is working on calibrating temperature monitors for a fridge at work.  

It's been snowing all day here.  We took the dogs our for a walk.  It was a winter wonderland.

Heidi loves the snow.

Even the trees got decorated.  And yesterday we saw a pileated woodpecker near this little tree.  It was huge and amazing.

I'm making supper for friends who are coming over shortly.  Take care and wash your hands:)

Tuesday, February 25, 2020

I got up this morning, ate breakfast, showered and went to work with the big guy.  When I got there they asked me what I was doing there.  I'm off today.  It's almost the end of the vacation year and I have a few days I had to use up and today was one of those days.  I laughed and drove back home.  

The dogs will sleep and I'm going to quilt today.  I keep saying I'm going to quilt and then something comes up but today, today I will quilt.

I think I'm also very reluctant to say much of what is on my mind.  The world seems to be going off the deep end, including my small corner of it.  The US has tRump and Alberta has Jason Kenney who is equally despicable.  I've tried to leave messages on Facebook but there is so much hatred and venom I find it shocking.  These are the people I live with and I guess that bothers me.  There is also the fear of sticking one's head up above the foxhole.  I was bullied terribly as a child and I learned my lesson, keep your head down but I also want to do something.  I don't like how things are going, I want to make my opinions known, I want things to be different but I also don't want to be attacked so I stay small and keep my head down which is very dissatisfying.

And then I read this on Stubblejumpers Café and it resonated with me.

*Anger is not a feeling; it’s a defence. When you can’t acknowledge your true feelings because they’re too excruciating, you defend against them with anger.

I don't want do to that again but it seems to be happening all over the world.  The world seems angry right now.  Perhaps we're all feeling scared, defending ourselves from real or imagined or fabricated threats.  Now that I think about it, tRump and Kenney have both fabricated threats and that is part of how they operate and recruit followers.  Fuckers.  Playing with people's minds.  But I guess that's not new either.  Sigh.  I'm feeling frustrated.

Sunday, February 23, 2020

My week in photos.  

Heidi loves to sit outside and the snow doesn't bother her one bit.  She watches for birds and just like to play in the snow.

A sink plugged with cat hair first thing in the morning.  It's a cat thing.  The comet has been sitting there for a week and I still haven't cleaned the sink.

Poppa blowing bubbles for the little guy.  He spent yesterday and today with us.

  Miss Katie watching horseback riding at the equine centre.

Miss Katie insisted that I take this photo of her.  She sees other young people taking photos of themselves and I think she just wants to participate.  She doesn't miss much, even when she doesn't seem to be paying attention, she is.

Saturday, February 22, 2020

I'm avoiding housework by sitting at the computer, wandering from site to site, reading about Agatha Christie, the news, the weather.  Both dogs are curled up sleeping and I can hear the big guy snoring in the living room;  the dogs woke him up at 3am.

It's snowing right now, heavy snow coming straight down, no wind at all.  Later we'll take the dogs for a walk and maybe our grandson as well if I can borrow a sled from my neighbor.

Mostly I'm avoiding cleaning.  It's my day off and I don't feel like it.  The bedding needs to be washed, floors need to be cleaned, bread dough is autolyzing and here I sit.  Perhaps there is a piano tied to my ass:)

We were short staffed at work yesterday but it was still a good day.  We never know how the day will go but there were no emergencies, no recoveries.  I have a young coworker who is so sweet she has become annoying.  She is always saying sorry but still keeps making mistakes.  She's been with us for six months.  Yesterday she laid down a folder with a patient's paperwork down on the counter, completely forgot out about it and then when someone did ask her about it she didn't look at it, just took it back to CT.  Nothing had been done.  The patient wasn't screened.  No IV had been started.  When CT brought me the paperwork and I found the patient, he and his daughter had been waiting for an hour in the waiting room for a CT of the chest which literally takes minutes to do.

I pulled them back, apologized profusely, started his IV on the first attempt and took him into the scanner myself.  When I talked to her about it my coworker didn't take responsibility for her actions.  That's what bothered me the most.  She said it wasn't her.  She did take back the forms to CT and didn't check the forms but it still wasn't her fault.  The thing is we all make mistakes, you own them, you apologize to the patient yourself, you don't do it again.  She sidesteps blame which I don't appreciate.

What always pisses me off is wasting a patient's time.  This is an elderly man, dying of cancer and we just wasted an hour of his time.  Not acceptable.

Anyway, she's leaving which is a good thing.  She's got one foot out the door but still, pay attention!

Enough complaining.  It's stopped snowing and all the dog turds are once again covered by snow.  I'm a lucky woman.

Monday, February 17, 2020

I took Heidi out for a walk at the dog park yesterday.  It wasn't too cold and the sky was so blue.  She's a wonderful walking partner.  She's off leash, comes when called and loves the snow.  Mostly she just loves being alive I think.

I finally feel like I've recovered from the flu and slept well last night.  It's bloody cold today so a day to stay indoors and quilt and make some cookies.  I'm trying to get some exercise in so I biked for thirty minutes on my stationary bike while I watched The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel.

I'm not depressed.  Winter has us firmly in her grip and I still feel good.  The walking outdoors helps so much and of course the days are getting longer.  We ate supper last night at 5:30pm and it was still light outside.  Awesome.

We also went to the greenhouse yesterday and I bought myself a primula because I need to see a live flower to remind me that spring will come, in a few months.  Mostly I'm thankful I'm not depressed,  February is a difficult month for me, both of my parents died in February but this year I'm good.

Sunday, February 16, 2020

The little guy is up and walking.  He spent yesterday with us and made us smile and giggle.

Heidi long legs appears to be settling in quite nicely.

Tuesday, February 11, 2020

#3 Reading/Books

I love reading.  When I was a kid I would read under the covers, by flashlight, and when I heard my mum coming down the hallway, I would switch off the flashlight and pretend to be asleep.  My mum had a terrible accident in 1971.  She fell and smashed the kneecap on her left knee.  She was in and out of the hospital and casts for what seemed like most of that year.  She also ended up with a bad limp which the doctor told her she would have for the rest of her life.

After mum's accident I could hear her coming down the hallway.  My dad never checked on me but mum always did so I would only shut the flashlight off if I could hear mum limping down the hallway.  What the doctor didn't understand, was how stubborn my mum was.  She worked on her physio and on her walk until one night, I couldn't tell it was her walking down the hall and I got busted for reading under the covers.

Mum and Dad, circa 1968.

The first chapter book that I remember reading was "Charlotte's Web".  I then discovered the library and "The Black Stallion".  Then even better, I discovered that writers will write series.  Awesome!  Every Saturday dad would take us to the library, I have no idea if mum came along or not, but my brother and I would go downstairs to the children's section and I was in heaven.  I discovered all kinds of worlds down there.  It was heaven for a shy girl.

Since then, I've never stopped reading.  I used to read more before the advent of computers, but I still read.  I read when I brush my teeth.  I read at bedtime.  I read when I sit on the toilet and I used to read when I blow dried my hair.  When my children were small I would lock myself in the bathroom and read.  I had a chair in the bathroom, just for reading.

One of my favorite books is "A Prayer For Owen Meany".  I don't know how many times I've read it but I always enjoy it, over and over again.

My favorite books entertain and educate me.  I learn something that I didn't know before, from life in Nigeria, to growing up in Afghanistan to living in Sweden as an old curmudgeon, and they make me see life from a different point of view as well as share universal truths.

So today's awesome is books and the ability to read.

What's your favorite book and why?

Saturday, February 8, 2020

Medicine Lake, my hubby's favorite lake, before the fire in 2015.

It's late for me, almost ten pm and I'm wide awake.  I've been having such a hard time sleeping these past few nights.  I close my eyes and a kaleidoscope of very vivid memories appear.  It felt like someone had turned on all the lights inside my head and opened up every filing cabinet that my memories are stored in. I could go back to when I was a teenager, or more recently when my ex-husband and I split up.  The memories just kept coming and coming.  I could see the everything, feel everything again.  It was weird.

I was lying in bed, wide awake, trying to stop the memories when I wondered, what's different?  And then I realized I've been taking cough medicine.  Then my hubby started snoring and one of the dogs started dreaming and twitching and I gave up and came downstairs.

So I looked up the main ingredient in the cough syrup, dextromethorphan, and sure enough, one of the side effects is insomnia.  Another uncommon side effect is spontaneous memory recall.  It can affect your sense of smell as well which would explain why I couldn't eat my supper, couldn't stand the smell of it.  At least that mystery has been solved and I'm not losing my mind, yet.  I think I'll live with the cough for now.

Friday, February 7, 2020

According to the CDC I have the flu, not a cold.  Good to know.

I hate being sick.  I'm sure nobody enjoys it but I can't imagine living my life feeling sick.  I suppose it's like anything, you get used to it because what is the alternative?

My young niece was diagnosed not long ago with celiac disease.  She is only twenty-two and is working on her masters degree in OT.  In her short life she's had four major surgeries already.  She and I were talking about this one night when we went out for supper and we both agreed, it's not like you have a choice.  You just keep going.

I am feeling better this morning, a little.  Yesterday I felt like death in the morning.  I still don't feel great but death doesn't seem so imminent:)

Wednesday, February 5, 2020

I'm home sick today.  I feel like shit and watched a lovely movie that made me laugh and cry.  A movie about kids like me, kids that just don't fit in.

It was well worth my time.

I also finished reading this book, one of the best books I've read in awhile.

Hope everyone is feeling good.

Saturday, February 1, 2020

A beautiful sunrise to start the day.

Tired dogs to finish off the day.