MyLifeSoFar
Tuesday, October 15, 2024
Sunday, October 13, 2024
Still life with a five year old. My counter always has toys on it, waiting to be put away.
It's Thanksgiving here this weekend. I made a pumpkin pie out of the pumpkin I grew this summer. Way too much work. Next year I'll just buy a can of pumpkin:)
My walk with Charlie this morning. The wind blew all night and lots of the trees are bare now.
I had my covid and flu vaccinations on Friday while I was at work. I've felt kind of crappy all weekend. Yay. At least it's only the vaccinations and not the diseases. Katie was not impressed with me though. I did not meet expectations.
On the upside, I spoke to my middle daughter last night for an hour on the phone. That always makes me feel good.
Wednesday, October 9, 2024
I had a very strange dream last night. I dreamed that I was on a ship and there was a killer on board, slitting people's throats. It went on for some time and all I remember is that there was so much blood, and I had to triage who I could help, because I couldn't help everybody. I remember staunching the bleeding of a woman whose carotid artery was cut. I wasn't afraid for my own life though, which seems odd, just those around me. Was this about hurricanes and wars and fires?
Monday, October 7, 2024
Jack is growing like a weed. That's his strider bike that I bought for him when he was three years old, I think. I was shocked to see how small it was, or how tall he was, now. The poor guy was sick on Friday, fever off and on, vomiting, and just general feeling crappy. He said his body hurt. He's fine now but didn't want to go to daycare this morning because it's now OSC (out of school care) and he doesn't like it. He doesn't like one of the teachers there, and to be honest it's noisy and chaotic, although maybe it's not like that all the time. There are a lot of transitions in OSC, kids coming and going in the mornings and the afternoons, which makes it look very chaotic. Jack is like me and doesn't do well with chaos.
I took Charlie out for a walk this morning, and then afterwards took Heidi out. The weather here is still lovely and the trees are not yet done their fall fashion show.
We're in the process of cutting down a large tree, with black knot fungus. Hubby climbs the ladder and cuts down the limbs, while I chop them into pieces small enough to burn. I don't mind doing it and I have become something of an expert on starting fires and keeping them going.
I finished reading "Remarkably Bright Creatures" and cried, again, even though I knew the ending. Another part of the book caught my attention. Tova made a mistake, she destroyed something that meant a lot to another person, and she was determined to "make it right". Tova doesn't argue or excuse her behavior; she made a mistake and accepted that it had caused pain to another person. Then she figured out how to "make it right". It reminded me of AA and their 12 step program. Part of that progam requires people to make amends, to "make it right". I don't see many examples of the alcoholics that I know, or most people for that matter, making amends. Have you ever made amends to someone? Has anyone every made amends to you?
Otherwise not much going on. I'm focusing on the good and not the bad, and feel much better as a result. Of course the sunshine helps.
Thursday, October 3, 2024
I'm rereading "Remarkably Bright Creatures" by Shelby Van Pelt for my book club. One of the lines near the beginning of the book caught my attention and resonated with me. "Tova has always felt more than a bit of empathy for the sharks, with their never-ending laps around the tank. She understands what it means to never be able to stop moving, lest you find yourself unable to breathe." When I read that, I felt it.
Tuesday, October 1, 2024
There's nothing wrong with me, other than I seem to have lost my get up and go. Nothing interests me right now and I'm even having a hard time reading blogs or leaving comments.
My sister in law is visiting right now and I took Jack over to visit her at my niece's place. My niece doesn't have children, she has cats, hence the fish head shaped cat bed.
The trees continue on their yearly ritual of changing colours. I walk the dogs. I worked last Friday and we had a gentleman with a severe allergic reaction. A code was called but no compressions were needed. Sadly it will be this gentleman's last CT scan because it showed the tumour had collapsed the right upper lobe of his lung and was pressing on his SVC. The doc talked to him and the patient now was days to weeks, and not months. So my heart broke at little. And then I had a thirty-nine year old man with metastatic rectal cancer; I don't realize how hard my job was, until I go back there. The grief is overwhelming sometimes.
I went to see "Come From Away" with three friends on Saturday night. I can't say enough good things about it. It made me laugh and it made me cry. My ex-husband was flying on 9/11 and I remember the terror I felt, the terror so many felt, that day. We didn't know what was happening, or what else would happen. The musical was about the planes that were forced to land in Gander, Newfoundland on 9/11 because American airspace was closed. It was the stories of the people on the planes and the stories of the people in Gander who took strangers into their homes. Turns out my sister in law, my niece and her boyfriend were sitting not far from us, but none of us knew that.
The hurricane and the aftermath have gotten to me as well. It's not bad enough that people have died, or lost everything, or been cut off from the rest of the world, trump has to make it even worse by spewing lies. He is an evil, vile man. I'm tired of his shit, beyond tired.
Wednesday, September 25, 2024
The leaves are falling and the days are much shorter. It's dark now when I go to bed. As I write this the dogs are behind me, wrestling.