Some of my husband's shots of the Sockeye, my photos didn't really turn out very well, not of the fish anyway.

I happened to buy a couple of books before we left for our getaway and one of them was called "Margo's Got Money Troubles" by Rufi Thorpe.  I didn't know anything about it but I liked the first paragraph so I thought I'd give it a go.  I read it in a day and when I was done, I started rereading it.  It wouldn't be everyone's cup of tea, but I loved it.

The book is about a twenty year old woman, Margo, with a brand new baby who is fired from her job as a waitress because she can't find childcare.  In the US there is no year long paid maternity leave, which just boggles my mind.  US politicians want young women to have more babies but provide no supports for that to happen.  Don't have an abortion but we're not helping you either once the baby is born.  The height of hypocrisy in my mind.

Margo's mother is kind of a gold digger (sort of, but mostly a woman who puts looks and herself, before all else) and her father was a wrestler until he wrecked his back.  She decides to support herself and her son by appearing on OnlyFans.  It's a story about family, addictions, sex, hypocrisy, misogyny, shame, algorithms, and love. 

I was twenty-one when I had my son, way back in the eighties.  I refused to marry the father, even as a twenty-one year old I realized that would be a huge mistake, that was a problem for more than a few people in my life.  By the time my son was two weeks old I knew that I would be on my own raising him and would need a decent job.  I applied and was accepted into the nursing program.  I started nursing school when my son was four months old and we both survived the two year program.  My mum was amazing and took care of my son for me while I went to school, studied, and did my practicums.  I couldn't have done it without her.  I was very lucky but I worked hard too.

The character Margo is a smart, resilient, hard working young woman.  I admire her.  She's not real obviously and in real life she would have a lot more baggage to deal with, but it's nice to read a story about a smart, successful young woman.  She is judged relentlessly for making pornography but she stands up for herself and fights back.  The book makes us think about sex and sex workers in a different way.  One character makes the point that if a guy is looking at a naked woman and she doesn't know, she's not slutty, but if the woman offers an image of herself naked, if she is in control of the narrative, then she is considered slutty.  The double standard for men and women is alive and well sadly.

Last night we watched Law and Order: SVU.  It was about a drunk young woman who was raped by three men but the law in New York states says that if a woman willingly gets drunk, then it's more difficult to argue rape.  If a person voluntarily drank alcohol or took drugs, prosecutors face a high legal burden. Under existing statutes, they generally cannot claim the victim was "mentally incapacitated" solely from voluntary substance use.  As a young woman who voluntarily got drunk, I can assure you that I never wanted to be raped, nor have I ever met a woman who did.

I digress but you get my point.  Double standards still exist and are vigorously defended by courts, legislators, schools, and religions.  And men wonder why women are angry.  

I haven't looked at my fish photos yet but I did learn that cell phones take lousy images of fish in the water.  My husband did get some excellent shots and I will post those photos and any of mine that are ok.  I thought a video of the drive home yesterday would suffice.  The mountains were beautiful and I realize how lucky we are to live so close to them.

The fish festival was good, the fish were amazing, and the weather was cool but sunny.  We spent more time in Salmon Arm than we have before which was nice.  It's a small town on one arm of Shuswap Lake; a nice little town nestled in a valley.  The festival was very busy and there were tour buses with Asian tourists arriving on a regular basis.  Both days we left right around lunch time as the crowds grew bigger.

There was a fire there three years ago which destroyed nearly 80% of the park, but it's recovering, and even the burned, scarred trees have their own beauty.  It was quite windy there and a tree did fall while we were watching the salmon; it sounded like a gunshot.  

We saw Sockeye and Chinook salmon swimming upstream.  As I was standing next to a south Asian woman on the shore, watching the fish navigate the shallow stream, she said, "Wow!", and I agreed.

When we stopped to eat our sandwiches at the Alberta/BC border yesterday, we heard and felt an explosion.  It scared the crap out of me, Jack, and the raven hoping for leftover sandwich bits.  My first thought was, that stupid, dumb fuck has started something.  There were four more explosions, none closer, and we decided it was related to the road work on the Trans Canada being done to widen the road to four lanes and not WW3.  You know the world is a mess though when your first thought is a war.  Jack thought the same thing but he was the only one to say it out loud.

We got home last night and I'm in the middle of laundry and putting everything away.  All of the annuals have been pulled out and sent for composting.  There are still perennial beds that need work but the grass won't need cutting until spring time.  The leaves still have to fall, which will keep me busy until the end of October.  The geese are gathering in the fields and eating the grain seeds that have been left behind from the harvest and I have one more batch of tomatoes to turn into tomato sauce.

 

The pottery studio that I enjoy so much, learn so much, and get to visit with friends.  It's a haven for all of us.  Exciting news, I can finally wedge my clay properly, it only taken me almost two years but I can do it now.  Something in my brain clicked and I can do it now.  Very happy.

Jack is fine in fact this morning he told me that the filling was nothing.  I said, it didn't even hurt did it?  And he said no.  Sigh.  At least he wasn't traumatized.

We've started telling each other three good things that happened that day as we lay in bed at night.  Jack's counselor suggested it and he's learning to look for the good things, even if they happen every day.  I can't remember what he told me last night but he did want to up the ante and listed off five good things that happened yesterday.  Sometimes I share my good things with him too but mostly it's about him.  Last night one of my good things was me riding his electric scooter, which he thought was funny.

We're heading to Salmon Arm tomorrow for the long weekend.  We're going to see the salmon run again at Tsútswecw Park.  Last year was lovely and this year is supposed to be even better.  I'll try and post some photos while we're away.

Fall is well underway here.  Even in the few short days since I took this photo, the trees have mostly turned yellow, as have the grasses.  

Last Thursday Jack had an accident at the skateboard park and chipped his two front teeth.  I wasn't there but I imagine there was a fair bit of screaming and crying involved.  I took him to a dentist on Friday and he had an x-ray that showed he had chipped the backs of both his front teeth and needed fillings on those chips to protect the nerve and the teeth themselves.  

The dentist was amazing and I don't think Jack even knew that he received any needles in his mouth.  He hated the numbing of his mouth and lip.  He hated the mouth guard which kept his mouth open.  He hated everything and ended up crying and yelling poor guy.  The dentist had a hard time getting even one filling done and suggested nitrous oxide for next time.  I sat right beside Jack, holding his hands the whole time, trying to comfort him.  The staff were all amazing and so kind.

I talked a lot and had a terrible time filling in the insurance accident form.  I couldn't sit down and did I mention the non stop talking?  I finally did sit down and I did shut up.  

Once we left the office, I started crying.  I didn't realize how stressed I had been by everything.  My son, Jack's father, smashed both of his front teeth when he was two years old, much blood and screaming.  Miss Katie smashed her front teeth when she was eleven, one dead tooth and one chipped tooth.  When I was twelve-ish, I had eleven teeth pulled, two teeth every two weeks by our family dentist.  My adult teeth were coming in before my baby teeth had fallen out and my mouth was too crowded  It was a nightmare for me and I'm still afraid of dentists to this day.  All of this came together in one afternoon while holding my grandson's hands while he had his first negative experience with a dentist.  He cried and then I cried, and then we talked about it.  The body remembers, despite our best efforts it seems.

He was very happy after we left the dentist's office, chatting away.  He had been quiet all day before the dentist appointment and I asked him if he had been worried.  He told me that he had been worried that the dentist would pull a tooth out of his mouth, while he was awake!  Or that he might end up with a metal tooth like one of his classmates who has a gold crown.  He got two toys from the dentist's office and I got a long list of things to watch for including infection and the tooth dying.  We have an appointment to go back in November for another filling but with nitrous oxide this time.

So that was last week.  On Saturday night the poor bugger got diarrhea in the middle of the night which kept us both awake for awhile.  On Sunday night, poor nana got diarrhea in the middle of the night (in spite of washing my hands very well), and I was awake for about an hour.  Last night I hit a wall and crawled into my bed at 7:20pm, unable to cope with anything, not even being tired.  I feel human again this morning thankfully.

No pottery today, groceries, laundry, and dog walks.  

Tonight we're having pizza from the Italian Centre, so no cooking tonight!

It's cold this morning, 1C (34F).  I put on my toque and my mitts when I walked Jack out to the bus stop.  Winter is coming.  The cat is not impressed.

Nothing much changes around here.  Yesterday was National Truth and Reconciliation Day in Canada, also known as Orange shirt day.  I went on Danielle Smith's Instagram page and the racist comments were overwhelming and horrible.  The fact that she doesn't shut down the racism speaks volumes about her character as a human and her character as a leader.  I find her to be lacking in integrity, morals, accountability, and empathy.  She sets the mood and her caucus and MLAs follow.  Because she's awful, they feel that they too can be awful, and not just the MLAs, some Albertans as well.  

A leader sets the tone, just like in the US.  The Republicans, by propping up trump and his anger, hatred, and insanity, have promoted hatred, anger, and division in the US.  trump leads by example, and his example is one of corruption, sexism, fraud, and lies.  People have embraced his lead because it gives them permission to be their worst self.  

A good leader would promote working together, cohesiveness, compassion, and integrity.  Both Alberta and the US lack this right now.  I can only hope it gets better for both of us, soon.

I fell again yesterday on the back deck.  I'm moving gravel around to make room for the dirt we'll need to bring to stop anymore flooding of the basement.  I had a container with gravel and I tripped and fell hard on my knees and my armpit got it too from the container.  Sigh.  This morning my knees are quite sore but I'm thankful I didn't break anything.  My mum's first bad break was when she was 48, so I'm doing well.  Osteoporosis runs in the family but I also spent 25 years lifting weights in an effort to avoid that same scenario.  So far (touch wood) my bones are doing well.

I have an exciting day planned of housework and walking the dogs.  Try not to jealous, it's not a good look:)

My husband had a workplace party on Saturday night.  His workplace was my workplace so I was looking forward to seeing friends and I did.  The food was good and the drinks were even better.  I drank something called a Lime in the Coconut which had lime juice, coconut, and pineapple juice, plus some rum.  It was delicious and I drank two in no time and then I stopped because I don't like being drunk anymore (if I ever did) and I hate hangovers (I've always hated those).  

It was so nice to catch up with people I hadn't seen in over a year, nurses, techs, and radiologists.  A strange thing happened though, people kept asking me if I was enjoying my retirement and I told them yes, I was, some of them looked surprised.  A couple of people asked me if I was coming back to work.  No.  I'm raising a 7 year old and that wears me out.  I can't imagine working on top of that.  We have enough money and I enjoy not having to rush all the time.  Not to mention pottery:)

A friend of mine babysat Jack for us.  We have never left him with a babysitter in the evening.  If we had to go to something he would stay with grandma, or we wouldn't go.  My friend took Jack to the park and got him ready for bed, and then got him into bed.  Jack was sound asleep when we got home.  In the morning Jack said to poppa, "I knew you'd come back!".  Fuck me.  He worried about it.

Pottery is still going well and we continue to learn so much from our new instructor.  Yesterday I made a mug, probably the best mug I've ever made and it was easy to do because of things she has taught us.  I suppose trying to make mugs for the last year and a half helped too.  I've learned what works and what doesn't.  But I am hopeful that this is the MUG, the one I can replicate, the one that is practical, and pretty.  Fingers crossed.

Work continues in the garden.  The pear tree is almost done with it's fruit and I have gathered most of it up, one tiny pear at a time.  There is still lots of cleaning that needs to be done but I have a month to work on it, so I do a little at a time.

Jack is finding grade two much harder than grade one was.  I'm hoping that's temporary.  He is reading well which is wonderful but now he's being tested on his spelling.  He can spell words phonetically but not in English.  Of=uv for him.  That seems to be getting him down, and the math is getting him down too.  Last night he was telling me that they have to be able to count to 1000 and told me, "That would take like an hour!".  We'll work on it.  At least numbers follow a pattern.  It wasn't until I was an adult that I realized that "x" was supposed to be a number, as in solve for "x".  I was also an adult before I realized that "c'est ca" meant "that's it" or correct.  Either I'm dense or the teacher did not convey the idea in such a way that I could understand it.

I still feel meh.  My energy is back, some days, and other days there is still a piano tied to my ass.  My cough is almost gone, except on Sunday when I was out with Katie at the mall.  I coughed so long and so hard, she looked concerned.  I was fine but I did buy some cough drops.

Jack at bedtime:)