I finally have my energy back and Charlie and I practiced Japanese interval walking, courtesy of Stubblejumpers Cafe and DB Stewart.  I worked up a good sweat and Charlie loved walking faster.  It reminded me of my forties when I was a racewalker; our training consisted of a lot of interval training.  I was never that fast or that slow, middling was my speed.  I did racewalk a half marathon about 20 years ago and did well, about 2 hours and 40 minutes.  I got to the end of the race and thought, there is no way in hell I would ever do a full marathon.

I went to pottery class twice this week, heaven.  Our new instructor has made a living as an artist and a pottery instructor for 40 years..  She knows shit and she's teaching us.

A friend of mine gave me this yesterday at pottery class.  She knows me so well.  Her husband helped us with our taxes this past spring and he told his wife about me after we first met, "She's a nice lady, but she swears a lot."  Yes I do.  I shall treasure this cross-stitch.

The weather has been nice here so Jack and poppa have gone to the skateboard park every night after supper for a good hour.  Jack is also sleeping in his own bed again, after 11 months.  Hurray.  I've been laying down with him at bedtime lately and he's so sweet to snuggle with.  He's getting so big too.

I've stopped bending over backwards to accommodate Jack's other family (his mom, aunt, and grandma), neither am I sugar coating anything for them.  I told the aunt, I don't lie and I don't sugar coat things.  It's not like I'm going to change.  Their family has a hard time dealing with difficult things and honesty.  Not my problem anymore.  Jack has lived here for almost six years.  He's pretty much a straight shooter too, but he never wants to hurt his mom's feelings.  He knows or understands that her mental health is fragile.

Katie has had five incidents in the last two weeks, since I cancelled our visit while I was sick, which is why I seldom cancel.  When we went out this past Sunday she was good and we had a good time. 

Counselling is going well, for me and for Jack.  His counselor is working on dealing with his trauma and also teaching him social skills.  She's a good woman.

Nothing much else going on.  Life is quiet right now and I'm good with that.

Liz at Field and Fen wondered what a snapshot of my life would look like.  This is what it looks like.  I spend a huge amount of time in my kitchen.  There is a bowl of ripe tomatoes that is waiting to be made into sauce.  I have a box and another bowl of tomatoes in the pantry ripening, and another bag of tomatoes downstairs ripening.  I'll have enough sauce to do us until next summer.

There is always a pile of paper on the island as well.  Right now it's under the tomatoes.  No matter how much I work at it, the pile remains.  The composition changes but the pile remains.

The flowers are from my birthday on the weekend, Jack picked out both bouquets for me, one with his poppa and one with his other family (which shocked me).  

My husband always leaves stuff on the island which I try to ignore but which I often just move into his office.  You can see cords and the blue thing is a handle that he 3D printed for his walking stick.

The drying tray always seems to have stuff drying in it.  There are lots of things I won't put in a dishwasher, water bottles, sippy cup, good cutlery, etc.  It only gets emptied when I have more dishes to do.

The container on the bottom right I made in pottery class to hold Jack's puffers and other crap.  There are meds on the counters that are used most days and there is a collection of meds by the paper towels that are new (for blood pressure, cholesterol, iron, and one for Jack).  If I don't leave them out, I won't see them and I will forget about them.  Out of sight, out of mind definitely applies to me.

You can also see the calendar which has everything written on it because otherwise I wouldn't remember:)

I don't mind being in the kitchen, but by the end of the day, I'm tired of it.  Sometimes it can take an hour or more to make supper, which is fine it it tastes good, but it seems like such a waste of time if the food is only meh.  I do try to make it taste good but I don't always succeed.  Tonight will be chicken fried rice, made with leftovers.

As I sit here at my desk typing I can hear pears dropping to the deck as the wind blows the tree around.  It's an ornamental pear tree. The pears aren't big enough to eat, but for some reason (I'm guessing all the rain), this year they're huge, big enough and hard enough to hurt if they hit you on the head.

I started pottery class again yesterday and we have a new instructor.  She has forty plus years of experience and she's already taught us so much we didn't know, in just one class.  I'm looking forward to learning more.

In an effort to avoid doing housework right away, I wasted half an hour looking at memes for y'all.  You're welcome:)

 

Death by Poetry

When they opened her up

she was riddled with poems.

They didn’t even try to transcribe.

They just sewed her up again and sent her home.

Three months later in the spring of the year

she died of poems,

her body alive with them–

protest poems in her spleen

love sonnets in both auricles of her enlarged heart

arteries clogged with blockage

her lungs so cloudy with poems

each breath must have been a labor

her breasts, hard as on the third day

when the milk comes in,

engorged with poems she could not let down

safe poems in situ–haiku tightly formed and cyclic

ruptured poems spilling infectious mixed metaphor

|into her abdominal cavity

an ectopic poem that could not gestate,

ready to burst the tube

that stretched in holding in its will to life,

parasitic poems

plagiarized and feeding on the good bacteria

one last magnificent poem, almost spoken,

lodged in her throat like a piece of steak.

Say only

that she died of beauty undigested

like rough rubies

and we need only read her death

to be gifted of it all.

Maureen Flannery

 

I'm back to long walks for Charlie which makes him happy I imagine, and I'm sleeping much better with more exercise and more fresh air.

I couldn't visit Katie on Sunday because I was sick and didn't want to infect her; I also didn't have the energy to care for her.  I called and cancelled.  Katie had a meltdown and this was the critical incident report I received.

After being informed that her mother would not be coming, Katie began to cry, scream,

and hit her head, hands, and nose. Staff attempted to de-escalate the situation by singing

songs and redirecting Katie to preferred topics, such as horses. Unfortunately, these

strategies were not effective at that time. To ensure Katie's safety and protect her from

injury, staff provided her with a pillow while also keeping a safe distance. As Katie's

behaviour escalated, it became increasingly challenging for staff to offer physical support.

Both staff members tried to administer Katie's PRN medication between 8:50 and 9:00

AM, but they were unable to do so. Eventually, Katie stopped hitting herself but continued

to cry. By 9:15 AM, staff determined that the best approach was to give Katie some space

while continuing to monitor her from a safe distance.

This is why I rarely cancel my visits with her.  Katie knows when it is Sunday.  She knows her mum visits on Sundays.  She likes her routines and doesn't cope well with disruptions to her routines.  All behavior is communication.

Katie's dad did visit this past week but Katie was anxious about that happening as well and this happened.

At approximately 9:05 a.m., overnight staff completed the shift exchange with the 9:00

a.m. staff for both individuals and left the residence. At that time, Katie was with staff, and

staff was working alone. Katie was communicating with staff using sign language and

indicating “baby” and “Dada.” Staff responded by reassuring Katie that her dad was

coming to pick her up today in a while. Staff then went to the washroom to wash her

hands. Katie also went to the washroom and subsequently followed staff when staff exited

the washroom.

Staff proceeded to the staff room, and Katie followed staff into the area. As Katie

approached staff, staff moved backwards to maintain space. Katie then grabbed staff’s

bag and threw it onto the floor. Staff observed that the bag and several personal

belongings were on the floor. Staff continued communicating with Katie in an attempt to

support her to remain calm. Staff reminded Katie that her dad was coming at

approximately 11:00 a.m. and encouraged her to leave the staff room and sit on the chair

near the entrance, where Katie usually sits. Katie initially did not respond to the redirection

and continued approaching staff. Staff continued using calm verbal communication and

encouraged Katie to leave the staff room. Katie eventually exited the staff room. While

Katie was outside the staff room, staff began picking up the belongings that had been

thrown onto the floor. As staff was picking up the belongings, Katie suddenly rushed

toward staff and grabbed staff’s hair near the scalp. Katie pulled staff toward herself while

holding staff’s shoulder with her other hand. Staff attempted to release Katie’s grip from

the shoulder and then attempted to release Katie’s hand from staff’s hair. Katie continued

resisting and scratching staff’s arm and hand. Staff sustained multiple scratches to the

arm and hand during the struggle. Staff also experienced significant pulling of the hair,

resulting in multiple strands of hair being pulled from the scalp. Throughout the incident,

staff continued attempting to redirect and verbally reassure Katie. Staff used familiar and

calming communication, including singing a rhyme and saying things such as, “Katie, let’s

get ready. Where is your backpack? Let’s get your backpack. Your dad is coming. Let’s go

see the horse. Let’s go see dogs at the dog park.” Katie continued holding staff’s hair and

did not release her grip despite staff’s attempts to disengage. During the incident, the

other individual came out of her room. She assisted staff by holding Katie’s hand and

verbally prompting her to release her grip. Following this intervention, Katie released her

grip on staff’s hair, allowing staff to move away from Katie and out of her immediate reach.

I wonder if she was worried her dad would cancel.  I don't know but it worries me (I don't want her to be evicted because of her behavior) and it breaks my heart because I know she's upset.  I'm also thankful that I wasn't recipient of her behavior, which sounds awful but it's true.  I wish they would call me but I'm also glad that they don't call me.  It's a rock and a hard place.

Other than Katie having a hard time, life is good.  The days are warm and sunny, the nights are cool, and Jack is happy to be back in a routine at school.  Last night he wanted to go to the park after supper, like every other night, and I told him I needed to clean up the kitchen, like every other night.  I told him I needed his help.  He put the dishes in the dish washer and wanted to help with the dishes, so I let him.  There was a fair bit of water everywhere but I kept my mouth shut and just put a rag on the floor to sop it up.  He washed, I rinsed, and he did a pretty good job.  This will probably not happen again for months, but it is a start.  We went to the park and his best friend was there so a lovely surprise for him.  He played hard, had a bath and a snack, and went to bed with poppa laying down with him.  He was out like a light, after he talked about the game he's building on Roblox, drank his milk, and brushed his teeth.

 

I received a lovely bouquet of sunflowers from a friend on the weekend.  She rang the doorbell, left the flowers on the doorstep, and ran away.  I called out to her that she was a chicken and she happily clucked back.  She has no desire to get this bug.  Wise woman.

Husband and I are not exactly bouncing back from this flu.  I do feel better but still tired, full of snot, short of breath, and coughing lots.  Husband got it a couple of days after me so he's a couple of days behind me in feeling better.  He's sleeping lots between coughing and sneezing bouts.  Jack is back to school thankfully.  He missed his skills assessment for soccer on Saturday morning because he had a fever but there is another chance tonight, so we'll get him to that.

Right now I also have something called paronychia on my right hand, ring finger. It is surprisingly painful and the pain was definitely 10/10 when I bumped it yesterday.  I'm sure I've had them before and they do go away on their own.  Strangely enough, that finger has been damp a lot lately because my dishwashing gloves have a leak in that finger and I've been too cheap to replace the gloves.  The gloves have been replaced now and I'm soaking the finger in hot salt water.  The first night it appeared though it was so painful that I had a hard time sleeping and then my brain decided it might be necrotizing fasciitis, so that didn't help me fall asleep either. Turns out not necrotizing fasciitis, no sepsis, just a sore finger.  As my mum would say, "Fool 'em and live".    

As you can read, life here has been just wildly exciting.  We didn't have frost on the weekend but it's going down to 0C tonight so I'm glad I got my tomatoes and apples harvested.  I've made two batches of tomato sauce so far with many more to come.  I've run out of room to put all the green tomatoes so a big bag went down to the basement.  I still need to deal with the apples when I get a bit of energy.  

I saw a downy woodpecker at the bird feeder this morning, such tiny little birds.  When our fridge died I found a package of suet with nuts, seeds, and dead bugs in it at the bottom of the freezer.  I put it outside and there has been one magpie who visits us several times a day to partake.  It looks like the same bird every time so obviously he/she has not told their extended family about it.  Sometimes we don't always feel like sharing.  I'm that way with chocolate.

 

This photo will be sixty-one years old soon.  It was taken for my third birthday and I was wearing my favorite dress.  

We're all still sick in the house.  Husband has joined me in the excess production of mucous, oh joy.  He's sneezing and coughing, I'm still coughing up crud, and Jack and husband both have fevers.  Jack just feels lousy.  I am not impressed.  Jack was supposed to be going to a skills assessment for his soccer this morning but that's not happening.  Fortunately there will be another skills assessment on Monday evening.

Virtually nothing has happened all week.  I did pick a bunch of tomatoes because it's getting cold at night but I ran out of energy after picking three plants.  There are four more to go.  I could show you a photo of the plants that I picked yesterday but that would require me getting up and getting my phone.  Too hard right now.

I also have to pick apples because the apples are ready.  I also have a photo of the tree but it's on the phone.  See above.

Nothing will happen today and hopefully I'm feeling better tomorrow to take Katie out.

I got up to brush my teeth so I figured I could post the photos.

A very interesting piece of graffiti from the skateboard park.  Jack came home from school yesterday morning because he felt like he was going to puke.  I don't think he was feeling that sick but he also wasn't feeling that well either.  I gave him the benefit of the doubt, part of the deal though was no park after supper.  Sure, sure, sure.  Of course after supper there were tears and begging but there was no park after supper.  He did play in the backyard though and he enjoyed that.  

I saw a doctor yesterday for my BP meds and I told her how tired I was.  She asked me if I was short of breath.  Yes I am.  Do I have brain fog?  Yes I do.  Do I have headaches?  No more than usual.  She checked my ferritin and it's low and she ordered a ferritin supplement for me so I'm hopeful that I'll have a bit more energy sometime soon.  I looked up old blood tests online and my ferritin has been low for the past 4 years which would explain some of the fatigue.  I don't eat red meat usually and very little leafy green veg which is probably the cause.  Last night I choked down some meatloaf and a spinach salad.

I worked in the front garden for awhile yesterday while Jack was home.  I have a problem with gardening.  I can grow just about anything but I suck at editing and pruning.  Yesterday I did both so we'll see how things turn out next year.  Because it was so wet this summer I spent very little time in the garden and it shows.  Next year I'll try again.  I removed almost all of the lamium and a few other plants that spread so much that they take over the garden bed.  I want to try more rudbeckia in the front garden next year.  I like the combination of yellow and purple, or blue.  The delphiniums that I planted in the front are doing well while the salvia gets mildew every summer which I don't like, so the salvia got yanked.

Jack was kind enough to share his germs with me when he wasn't feeling well on the weekend.  I had a sore throat when I went to bed last night and this morning I woke up with it still.  When I went to talk, it sounded like I had marbles in my mouth.  I used a flashlight and looked at my throat and it's quite swollen and boggy, including my uvula.  Nothing much is going to get done today other than a couple of dog walks.  My throat hurts like a bugger and so does my head.  I'll live.