Katie is healing, getting better.  When we stopped by on Tuesday to check on her she had vomited everywhere.  Everywhere includes the walls in her case.  Poor bugger.  I changed her bedding and cleaned her room while her caregiver gave her a shower.  On Wednesday, her hand was still tender and she wouldn't take off her coat for her caregiver.  I convinced her to take off her coat by offering up a lovely, warm fleece blanket.  I haven't seen her since Wednesday.  Tomorrow, the big guy and I will pick her up and take her out for a few hours.  We'll drive, watch people, walk and have lunch.  And then we'll take her back home.  In my fantasies, I bring her home and she lives with us.  In reality, she pinches me, pulls my hair and bangs her face when she's upset.  She requires more attention than one person can give her and I still feel bad that she doesn't live with me.  I would love to tuck her in at night, but fantasies are not reality.

I took four hours off on Thursday and got caught up on life.  I shopped for last minute gifts.  Filled my windshield wash thing with fluid.  Bought cat kibble so that the cat doesn't starve to death, even though she is often convinced that her death from starvation is imminent.  Wrapped presents.  Cleaned the apartment. I feel peaceful.  I hate the feeling of undone things hanging over my head.  It causes me stress.

The laundry is done.  The apartment is clean.  Christmas cookies have been made.  Presents are wrapped.  Cards have been sent.  Snow has fallen.  And this morning we're off to see our granddaughter for a few hours. 

Life is not perfect or free of stress but it is good.  I'm thankful.

What are you thankful for today?

This is Miss Katie's wrist.  It doesn't look that bad in the photo.  She has another staph infection.  When she's upset she bangs her wrists against her mouth.  The calluses and scars have built up over time.  She never used to do this.  You can see old bruises on her wrist.

She also has a callus built up on her forehead, except right now it's a huge sore because she hit her head so hard that she split the skin.  When she's upset she bangs her head against the floor or the wall, or another person's head if need be.  Katie gets upset a lot.  She is chronically anxious.  We tried weed and we have tried anti-depressants with only limited success. 





Katie also won't keep her fingers out of her nose.  She doesn't pick her nose, she just sticks her fingers up her nose all the time.  I think that's how she's reinfecting herself. This is either the fourth or fifth staph infection this year.  We tried decolonization which worked for about five months but now she has another infection. 

She saw a doctor at a walk in medical clinic on Friday who took a swab and put her on oral antibiotics.  I find walk in medical clinics to be quite useless but her staff had already taken Katie there.  The doctors in those clinics don't appear to really care that much, at least that's how I feel.  Anyway, she got started on the oral antibiotics and they are slowly working.  She had a fever Friday and Saturday but the fever is gone now thank goodness.  The swelling and redness are worse but it's not spreading.  It is however painful.  Katie doesn't usually complain of pain but she does get very grumpy. 


Infection spreading up her arm prior to antibiotics.

 

I did some research on recurrent staph infections.  Decolonization is not overly effective, especially with non cooperative patients, a category which Katie would definitely fall into.  She won't keep her fingers out of her nose and has small abrasions on her skin constantly from her self abuse.  I'm not really sure what to do.  I do worry about her becoming septic or her bacteria becoming antibiotic resistant.  I feel like I'm failing my daughter but I don't know what to do. 

Poor girl was crying on Friday when they took the swab, they had to poke the blister with a needle.  She was inconsolable.  She also had a fever and probably felt like shit.  Yesterday was the same.  When she cries, I cry.  Today she looked much better but was still crying because I put a bandage on her wrist.  She hates bandages, screaming, crying hates bandages.  But the wound is open and weeping now and I don't want anything else to get into the wound.  So the two of use have been crying a fair bit these past few days.  I feel helpless.