We got the results of Miss Katie's genetics testing and they were inconclusive. There was a de novo deletion on one gene and it was deemd a variation of uncertain significance. The good news is, that because it was de novo (something went wrong in the formation of the egg or sperm), it won't be present in our other children or grandchildren. It won't be passed on, won't affect anyone other than Katie.
We had our meeting yesterday with Gracie, her family and the social worker. Everyone was pretty angry and there were loud voices and tears but eventually things got worked out, a little. I am so impressed with our social worker. She is so calm and does such a good job of getting upset, stressed people back on track and focused on the main concern, Jack.
Gracie's family came back from Mexico last Saturday. On Sunday Gracie and her brother picked up Jack and wanted to have him for three or four nights. We said no, one night and please take him to daycare in the morning. Of course they didn't take him to daycare, the roads were bad they said. There was a weather alert, travel was not advised which they abided by because it suited them. When the government of Canada said please don't travel in December, it didn't apply to them because they wanted to go to Mexico. They did finally get hold of the social worker and she gave the okay for Jack to stay with him for three nights until we had our meeting yesterday, which is all we wanted, communication with the social worker.
The social worker told Gracie and her family that she needs to see Gracie sober for three or four months prior to Gracie having unsupervised visits. Lori, Gracie's mom, said, "Well it's already been three months." The social worker said, no, from now, not from when Jack was taken into care.
We all talked about how much time Jack should be spending with his mom and where. Gracie will live with Lori while she needs to be supervised they said and they pretty much wanted Jack back full time which is when I started crying. What was agreed on is we will have Jack Wednesday at supper until Saturday at suppertime. Gracie and Lori will have him for the rest of the time.
Even though this was agreed to, Jack still didn't come back to us last night because, well, you know, blah, blah, blah. Gracie's family always pushes the limits. Lori wants to keep Jack until next week because she wants to work on some intensive potty training. It sounds so reasonable but there will always be something. My hubby is picking Jack up tonight on the way home from work today. I'm home again, sick with a snotty cold.
Gracie's family was also upset that we had applied for parenting and guardianship. It was pointed out that children's services asked us to do that and when we had our hearing in December, Lori did not want day to day parenting when asked by the judge.
After Gracie and her family had left, the social worker told us that she was pretty sure that Gracie would start drinking or using again which is good and bad. We want it to happen while children's services is still involved because they have the power to tell Gracie and her family what's what.
My feeling is that Gracie thinks that she will be fine. She'll get a job, nine to five, get a daycare, get her driver's licence and life will be just fine. She hasn't been able to hold down a decent job since she became an adult. She has been talking about her licence for as long as I've know her. She started drinking and using when Jack was a month old. Her and her family live in denial it seems to me but I guess time will tell.
In the meantime, my husband is mad as hell and wants to hurt someone or break something. And I don't blame him, I do too, but it's hard. Anger, even my own, scares me.
I saw this online and it made me smile.