My daughter came out a few weeks ago, not as gay, but as woman living with MS.  She not only told everyone who follows her on tiktok and instagram, she also raised $3000 for the MS Walk.  She's a strong, young woman and is followed closely by a neurologist.  Prior to telling everyone, she had only told a handful of people about her diagnosis two and a half years ago, and now it's out there, which is a good thing.  People need to see that MS doesn't stop your life, it just changes it.  She's on immunotherapy and that's keeping the disease at bay but it does make her susceptible to infections.  A rock and a hard place.  Right now she's doing her thing, cooking and making videos and she loves that.  I could never give up a job that provides benefits, a pension and security but she did and I'm proud of her for doing that, for being braver than her mama, for following her passion.  

Jack is starting school in September, something that makes me happy and nervous in equal parts.  I have ADD (Attention Deficit Disorder), as do my children.  My son was diagnosed when he was probably about ten years old, I brought it to the doctor's attention and asked for an assessment.  That was thirty years ago.  When I started reading about ADHD (Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder), I realized that I had it as well, just without the hyperactivity, although some would argue that I am hyperactive.  My middle daughter was diagnosed about a year ago and Katie, I just assume she has it as well, along with all her other stuff.  

And now there is Jack, who gets in trouble at daycare for not listening, not paying attention, not sitting still.  He has one friend/frenemy at daycare who rats him out on a regular basis, telling me, "Jack didn't listen today."  It upsets Jack.  My husband struggles to understand it as well.  Jack can't sit still, he rocks his chair because it's soothing.  He gets the zoomies because it feels better to discharge all that pent up energy.  Sometimes he can hyperfocus on something but then gets in trouble for not listening or paying attention to other things.  He forgets what he's agreed to, because he wasn't paying attention when he answered, and then gets upset.  It's hard for him.

I'm sixty-one and I've had years and years of living inside this brain.  I cope and to be honest I appreciate ADD.  It allows me to pay attention to more than one thing at a time.  I am easily distracted but I also notice things that other people miss.  I get a lot done in a day, both at work and at home.  When I clean the house I stop and start different things often.  I'll stop in the middle of vacuuming because the dishes are bugging me, so I do them, go back to vacuuming and then get distracted by the laundry.  Evenutally it all gets done but sometimes it's hard to finish one thing before I move on to another.  Getting through school though, can be hard with ADD or ADHD.  Schools have a lot of written and unwritten rules.  Schools don't appreciate neurodivergence and I'm so glad that there is a word like neurodivergence now, instead of calling someone bad or a weirdo or a loser.

A lot of research has been done on neurodivergence in the past thirty years and I'm realizing that now because of Jack.  I'm learning things about myself that help explain why I do things and how my brain works.  I'm also learning how to help Jack.  I explained to him that his brain works differently than some others and that's okay.  It's not a good or bad thing, it just is.  I want him to succeed at school, I want him to feel good about himself and I want him to understand himself.  

The more I read and learn about ADHD, the more my life makes sense and I hope it will feel the same way for Jack as he goes through school, grows up and lives with his brain.  Different is just different.  It was the same way with Miss Katie.  She's different in some ways but in most ways she is the same as the rest of us.

The other day Jack had done something and he was upset about it, frustrated with himself and frustrated because he couldn't blame others.  I asked him if he was mad at himself and he said, "No!  I'm sad at myself."  He's starting to understand and that's a good thing.