The dog park has turned into a stunning display of fall colours.  September is my favourite month, with it's warm days, cool nights and beautiful leaves.  Charlie is fairly reliable now, with regards to recall.  I have noticed though that he reminded me of Lucy, our beagle.  When Lucy put her head down and started sniffing, her ears turned off.  When Charlie starts running full out, his ears turn off too.  We think he has some greyhound in him, judging from his body type and how he runs.  Apparently greyhounds don't have the greatest recall when they're running, so that's probably it.  I've noticed now though, when we walk in the woods, he runs ahead and then comes back to check on me, and then runs ahead again.  When we're out on the field though, he just goes and ignores me.  

I'm off to court again this morning, but things will be put off to the end of October.  Today is the birthday of Jack's maternal grandpa and October 17th is the anniversary of his suicide.  Things can wait and I don't want to add to their misery.  On the upside, Jack hasn't seen much of his mom and has only spent one night with his aunt and uncle, so he's thriving on the predictability of his life right now.  He's happy and eating well.  

I'm feeling good mentally but physically the cold from hell lingers on.  I didn't visit Katie on Sunday because I needed the rest before going back to work.  Turned out for the best, last night I got a text message from Katie's caregiver and Katie has covid.  Poor girl, she caught it from her roommate.  

While I was away, sometime this summer, a patient from Jasper told the CT tech's, that I had been hiking on a trail, near Maligne Lake, when a storm came up and I had to be evacuated by helicopter to safety.  News to me.  The techs asked me about it yesterday and I assured them that I had not been hiking.  This particular hike involves four nights of camping.  I am not a camper, nor is my husband.  But it does beg the question, who was the patient?  And who did he think I was?  He had the right name but camping is not my jam.  A mystery.

Otherwise, life goes on.  My husband has a retirement party to go to this week, for a man he worked with for over forty years.  I have to make a casserole for a going away party tomorrow.  One of our temp nurses is going back to her regular unit.  I'll miss her.  She sings and dances which I love.

Jack learned what a shart is this week.  The learning never ends:)

 a staff member

Whenever I think about writing these days, it seems I have nothing to say.  I had a frustrated, angry patient on Thursday that I helped, I hope.  Jack is with his aunt tonight.  I was sick all last week and I also turned sixty-one.  We hired a lawyer to help us with our application for day to day parenting of Jack.  The new dog, Charlie is much better and so am I.  That last bout of depression snuck up on me and really messed with my mind.  I had a dream last night that nobody appreciated anything I was doing and when I woke up, I was grumpy as hell.  I stayed grumpy for most of the day until finally it dissipated amongst the trees, while walking the dogs.  I had to apologize to Jack more than once.  It was the kind of grumpy you feel when you have your period and you just want to rip someone's head off and shit down their neck.  Expect I'm post menopausal now.  It's finally worn off, thank goodness.  I've done laundry and put it all away.  Baked banana bread and cleaned up the kitchen.  Played far too many games of bubble shooter on my phone.  Read my book a little.  Picked up the pears that have fallen off the tree and now lay rotting on the grass.  

Maybe it's just this time of year.  Or maybe it's stress.  Jack is safe.  I was very specific with his aunt when I asked her what she was doing with Jack today and tonight.  He would visit his mom, he would be supervised by his aunt while visiting his mom.  She fucked up.  She got played by her sister.  None of us want that to happen again, including Jack's aunt.

It feels like something should happen.  But I don't know what.  

We drove out to Elk Island National Park this afternoon, in the hopes that Jack would fall asleep and have a nap because he and poppa are going to some car races this evening.  Jack did fall asleep for awhile.  The weather was perfect and the sky was so blue.  There was a large flock of coots feeding in the water and while we sat and watched them, sandhill cranes flew overhead, calling out as they flew.  It was quiet and peaceful.  A boon for the soul.

Jack enjoyed it too, something which always surprises me, because usually he likes action and noise.

 This summer has been one of the hardest of my life.  I'm feeling depressed but functional.  There's lots of stuff going on but that's not for right now.  Next week we have court and we see the child pyschologist.  Life continues on.

Hospital pillows are not comfortable, but they still go missing, so we write on our pillows, in the hopes that they will be returned to our department.  Some nurses have taken it a step further and given us something to laugh about, which I so appreciate it.