I'm stuck at home again with feet too painful to stand on all day at work.  I can manage the plantar fasciitis when I'm at home with stretches, anti-inflammatories and ice but when I go to work the pain just increases.  I went to work this morning and was limping around;  then I took a patient upstairs and at one point it felt like a nail was pushing into my left heel and that pain didn't go away.

So I came home and I'm sitting on my ass with my foot on ice.  I made an appointment for physio tomorrow morning and I'm hoping they'll be able to reduce the pain.  Because I'm limping, my left ankle and right toes are increasinly painful too.  Sigh.  

On the weekend we missed Jack's swimming lesson because he fell asleep before the lesson, so I took him for a very slow walk at the dog park.  We took Heidi and wandered through the woods with Jack saying the whole time, "Dis way.  Dat way".  I walked like an old lady and we both got to enjoy the trees, the fresh air and the sunshine.  It was a lovely day, no mittens required.

I can hear a chickadee outside, chirping away.  The other morning I heard a chickadee mating call.  Spring must be coming.  The sun is shining through the windows and the cat had curled up on the counter for awhile until the sun moved.  I filled up my car with gas after I dropped the big guy off at work.  Life seems so normal, except it's not anymore.

Last night we watched the news until bedtime.  Yesterday morning while I was driving to the hardware store I listened to my Prime Minister talk about the Russian invasion of Ukraine and I was reminded of the Polish Invasion by the Germans.  My mum told me she had been on a boat with friends and the holiday was cut short.  When she got home her mum had already made and hung black out curtains for their house.  My mum was fourteen years old.

Today there are children in Kyiv, mothers, fathers, sisters, uncles, grandparents, all terrified of what will come.  Ukraine wanted to join NATO, Russia didn't want Ukraine to join Russia and now NATO won't help Ukraine because it's not part of NATO.  It is a catch 22.  

I understand that NATO countries are reluctant to escalate the situation.  I understand that we're talking about a pyschopath with access to nuclear weapons.  I understand the gravity of it all but if we stand by and watch this unfold, what does that make us?  Complicit?  

This is happening.

Lucy is getting old quickly.  She had a hard life before she came to us and now she has congestive heart failure (CHF).  I've taken care of many humans with CHF but never a dog.  She coughs a lot and she sleeps more than she used to.  She still enjoys her walks but sometimes she doesn't want to eat.  I guess we'll just wait and see what happens.  She is on medication for it but that doesn't fix anything, just makes it bearable.

I'm off for  most of this week, only have to work tomorrow and that's it, still burning holidays which is fine with me.  It gives my feet a rest.

I'm going to go visit my friend this afternoon, the one whose husband died suddenly at the end of January.  She has cancer so doesn't go out much and we haven't seen each other in quite awhile.  We talk on the phone but it's not the same.  I want to hug her.  I made some cinnamon buns to take to her;  she's not a baker or a cook.

I don't really feel like doing much today.  Russia seems to be on the brink of invading Ukraine, because why?  Some guy?  Why is one guy allowed to make decisions that affect so many people?  It's not so different in Alberta.  There's a guy here who apparently doesn't like science much and is hell bent on catering to the 10% of the population that like him.  He changes his mind more often that I change my underwear, whatever is politically expedient.  He doesn't respond to letters.  He does as he pleases it seems, although, I'm sure he would argue that and say that there is so much more right wing bullshit that he would like to implement but can't because he wants normal people to vote for him as well.  

I'm in a mood obviously:)

I took the dogs for a walk this afternoon.  The weather was warm and sunny but the ice was everywhere.  I'm very thankful for my ice cleats but man they're noisy.

The big guy and the little guy having a pillow fight, or the little guy's version of a pillow fight.  Just pile the pillows on top of poppa and then join poppa.

Miss Katie went out yesterday with one of her caregivers and they watched the swimmers.  She looks so grown up and happy.

I was trying to distract her with snap chat and she was having none of it.

In the news there are blockades at border crossings because some value personal freedoms more than the flip side of the coin, responisibilites.  We all live together.  We all need to take care of each other because none of us can do this on our own.

I described myself on Steve Reed's blog as tired, bitchy granny on the prairies and then thought to myself, that sucks.  I looked back at my blog posts over the last three or four months and they are tired and bitchy and I don't want to be that.  I do get tired and I do get bitchy but what?  I don't want to be bitchy all the time.  I don't want to be tired all the time.  I'm happy with the granny bit though:)

Jack came back to us on Thursday and he was happy to be home.  He took all of his toys out, named each one and put them on the coffee table.  I missed his mess so much.  I also missed making things with his lego.

I'll skip over the crap and say that yesterday we took him to his swimming lesson.  He's young enough that an adult has to be with him so I put on a bathing suit and went into the pool with him.  It was so much fun.  I haven't been around little kids in the water for years and it's wonderful.  Their joy and ability to play is infectious.  

After swimming, while we were changing in the change room he quizzed me on body parts.  Not at all awkward but it was truthful.  I'm guessing Gracie will hear about pubic hair and tattoos.  Then he locked me out of the change room when I to get his socks and boots out of the locker.  Fortunately he unlocked the door quickly, but he did think it was terribly funny.

We dropped him off at his grandma's at supper time and the big guy and I went out for supper at our favorite Italian restaurant which was nice.  We don't get much time to ourselves and it was good for us.  Then I slept for ten hours straight last night. 

This morning I found a blogger who shares my sense of humor.  

We're off shortly to pick up Miss Katie for lunch and I made an appointment for her to get a haircut as well.  I balked at the price, $60, but then realized that she can well afford it.  If she has too much money in her bank account the government will cut her off.  Right now her bank account looks like she's saving up to make a down payment on a house.  She doesn't really care about things and has all that she wants so I guess a good haircut is not unreasonable.

This afternoon I'll take the dogs out for a good walk as the weather is so warm right now, although I just saw that rain is forecast again.  WTF, when did rain in Alberta winters become a normal thing?

The little guy and I took Heidi for a walk to the dog park in an effort to get all of us some exercise and fresh air.  Mission accomplished.  We found two balls and Jack and I took turns throwing them for Heidi and she chased after them.  We walked to the small hill there, through the deep snow because Jack did not want to stay on the path.  He kept getting stuck in the snow and I had to keep rescuing him.  We slid down the hill once and then started back to the car.  Nana got a lot of exercise then,  carrying him, dragging him on his back which was great fun apparently, and pointing him in the right direction over and over again.  Mission accomplished though, fresh air and exercise for all involved.

I took this photo of Heidi this morning.  I can't help myself.  I think she's so beautiful and so sweet.

At lunch time, Jack and I picked up Gracie and we drove to one of the swimming pools here.  Gracie has talked about swimming lessons for the last two years and has never done anything about it.  In December, I signed Jack up for swimming lessons and today was the first day.  Gracie didn't look like she had much fun but Jack had a great time.  Supervised visits continue.  

I may get back to swimmng.  I love swimming and miss it but I do hate putting on a swimsuit now, actually I've never really liked swimsuits.  When I was young I thought I was too thin and now I think I'm too jiggly and plump.  We're never really happy with our bodies, are we?  Fucking advertising.

I joined a literary jokes and puns group on Facebook.  They make me smile, daily.

We've had a lot of snow and cold weather but this week it warmed up and today it's raining.  You can imagine what that does to the roads.  This morning on the way into the city, there were eight cars and trucks in the ditch.  I stayed in the city to get my booster shot and then drove home; the roads much improved but still a school bus and a SUV added to the mess in the ditches.  

I took a vacation day today and now I have a four day weekend which is just lovely and seems to stretch endlessly in front of me.  I'm feeling better than I was the other day.  Writing and remembering the bad stuff that's happened over the past three years knocked me down.  

Gracie looks better than I've ever seen her.  I've only ever know Gracie pregnant or drunk or high.  She's sober and makes sense.  She's been doing a lot of work on herself  and she understands that she has a lot more work to do.  Best of all, she paid attention to Jack and it was wonderful to see.  He was happy to see her and to be seen by her, and she was happy to see him.  Gracie talked a lot and I listened.  I have hope, I always hope.  I guess only time will tell what happens.

The rest of Gracie's family comes home from Mexico on Saturday, so I guess we'll see what kind of a shit show that is.  But right now, today, Jack knows his mama loves him and she showed him that she loves him.  And how wonderful is that.