My first flower of the year; a tiny little crocus.

I had my ultrasound shockwave therapy yesterday.  It was painful but not too painful to have it.  My foot feels better already so I'm a fan.  I also made an appointment for next Friday as well.  I'm back to work on Monday, two hours of nursing work and the rest of my shift confirming patient appointments, at a desk.  The big guy has told me that I make sure I don't walk more than 3000 steps which is what the podiatrist ordered, or there will be hell to pay.    

The time off has been nice; although the sore foot made me cranky, it was nice to have time to breathe.  Taxes got done, paperwork got sorted and put away and we made a lot of trips to Wetaskiwin to visit my in-laws which was nice.  My father in law is doing better.  He's a tough old bird. 

Jack had swimming lessons this morning and then we went out for lunch and a drive in the country because that's the best way to get him to fall asleep.  We came across these deer browsing in a field.  After his nap, we'll take him to the dog park for a walk and then he has to go back to his mom's.  Sigh.  

Yesterday I worked at the rental, painting and pulling up flooring.  I think the wall colour turned out nicely.  It's a soft grey which will be a shade lighter in the bathroom.  We're still waiting for the contractor to come back and pull up all the old flooring and put in the new flooring.  I had some anger issues around Jack yesterday so hard work was in order.  I felt much better afterwards.

We're taking Jack to the mountains in June for the first time, so we wanted him to have some experience eating in a restaurant.  With the pandemic, he hasn't gotten much practice.  We went to IHOP which I think he thought was not a real name, because why would you call a restaurant I Hop.  We hopped into the place and he did well.  He's always happy to be with his poppa and poppa is always happy to be with him.

I had to take Katie to the doctor's this morning, just for a check up and blood reqs, nothing bad.  She did well and was just so happy.  She still sees the same doctor who delivered her thirty years ago, which means I've been going to my doctor for over thirty years.  We also stopped at the dog park to watch the dogs and got ice cream after her visit.  Then we stopped at the grocery store to buy a helium filled balloon.  She was a happy girl.

I left Heidi out of her kennel because we keep trying to trust her out of her kennel when we're out.  Sometimes she's okay and sometimes she's not.  I never did find all the pieces of either the rabbit or the army man.  I'm guessing they'll turn up in the backyard at some point, covered in dog poop:)

Jack starts swimming lessons again tomorrow which he'll enjoy and which we'll enjoy watching.  I don't have to go in the water this time.  We'll probably go out for a long walk too because it's sunny and all the snow has melted again.  It's beautiful out and my bulbs are starting to burst out of the ground.  I can't wait for my flowers.  They make me happy.  
 

Last week was a shit week but my father in law has recovered from his bout of pneumonia.  A week ago Sunday, everyone gathered around his hospital bed to say their goodbyes and on Monday he woke up and was hungry.  He's much better, although still very weak.  I told him that he was at death's door and the doctor was trying to pull him though;  he smiled.  Yesterday when we visited him, I brought him some of the lemon dessert I had made for Easter supper and he ate it, smiling all the while.

I'm still off work for at least two more weeks.  My sore foot isn't helping my mood.  I have a cane that I'm using, mostly just at night now when I get up.  The pain is subsiding and I see the podiatrist again this week.  One of the medications she ordered for the pain gave me insomnia and messed with my mood, which wasn't helpful at all.  I've stopped taking that and hopefully things will right themselves soon.

We also had a short visit with grandson #2, Charlie,for a bit on Friday.  He's a sweet little guy.

The sun is shining which helps me too.  I saw my first robin last week which means it's truly spring here.  My tomatoes are doing well.  The yard is dry enough for Jack to play outside now, which he loves.  It's been a long winter, for everyone.

 

It's been a busy few days.  We were down in Wetaskiwin three days in a row, sitting with my father in law, in the hospital, and Jack had his third birthday.  The wind blew hard as hell for 48 hours and now snowflakes are gently blowing about as they drift down from the sky.  

My husband is gutted.  His father is dying.  I feel gutted to, even though I knew it was coming, knowing and understanding are two very different things.  We know life ends, for everyone, including our parents and ourselves ultimately.  But sitting with someone as their life slowly slips away, that is a different kind of understanding. 

I will miss my father in law a great deal.  I've talked to him more in the last six years that I've know him than I talked to my own father in the thirty-seven years that I knew him.  My father in law has a wonderful sense of humor and I think even more importantly, he's not my father, so there is no baggage attached to our relationship, no old slights, no bad memories, no what ifs.  And he's not disappointed in me or how I turned out, there is no history with us, except for these past few years.  I've grown to love my inlaws which surprised me and also made me very glad to know that I still have space in my heart for more people, more loved ones.

Update, the antibiotics are working and my father in law is awake now.  He sat up and said he was hungry.  I'm thankful.

 

My tomato plants have survived the cat.  I moved them to a new counter that she can't access without pulling all of the plants down on top of herself.  I decided not to kill the cat:)  The plants won't go outside for another six or seven weeks so they'll have time to grow.  I also planted some echinacea which have come up and some pumpkin seeds that I saved from Halloween.  We'll see if they come up.  I think Jack would love to see the pumpkins growing.  He seems impressed by the tomatoes; he helped me plant them.  As for the echinacea, he just looks at me like I'm pulling his leg when I tell him the name.

This photo was taken last week and the snow has retreated even more since then.  Spring is here.  The geese have been arriving for weeks and the sun is high in the sky.  However, Jack believes that you do not have to go to bed if the sun is still up.  I have explained to him that the sun sets later in the spring and summer and that we have to go to bed while the sun is still up, even nana and poppa.

Last week when he was here, he opened up this drawer and was dragging stuff out because he said, "I make."  God I love that little boy.

I'm off work now for four to six weeks.  I couldn't take the foot pain anymore on Monday so I saw my doctor on Tuesday who put me on leave for two weeks and told me to see a podiatrist.  Yesterday I saw the podiatrist who put me on leave for four to six weeks and told me to use a cane to lessen the strain on my left foot.  I'm to do twenty minutes of stretches a day and see her again in two weeks.  She also talked about shockwave therapy which sounds like it might hurt.

It's Jack's birthday on Saturday.  He'll be three years old.

And that's my life so far.  

 

This photo was taken three years ago on our trip to Newfoundland.  As they say, that's only the tip of the iceberg.

I'm feeling weepy today.  Yesterday was a day from hell.  Our first biopsy patient coded on the table, during her biopsy.  Her heart never did stop, thankfully, but she was unresponsive and her oxygen levels dropped enough that we had to bag her.  My heart rate always goes sky high during a code and it takes me awhile to recover.  The patient's husband was distraught, rightfully so.  An ambulance was called, our clinic/hospital doesn't have an emergency or ICU, so patients get sent over the University Hospital.  The patient was bleeding from her mouth and nose so I made EMS stop while I wiped the blood off her face as they were going to walk right past the husband.  Blood upsets people, even nurses.  The patient made it over to the University and woke up.  Nobody seems quite sure what happened but it shook us all, especially the doc. Stroke maybe?  We'll see.

Another patient fainted and lots of tough, tough IVs that I had to start as I'm the expert, or at least the oldest.  Mentally draining, and spending an hour starting an IV is tiring.  Lots of patients, lots of chaos.  At the end of the day I locked my purse and keys in my locker so we had to wait for the maintenance guys to come and use bolt cutters to remove my lock.

Then Jack came back to our place last night with soaking wet feet, boots and pants.  He looked exhausted.  Last night he slept for 12.5 hours.  

My father in law is still in hospital and I'm still trying to get the rental house fixed up.  Everytime one job is done, another twelve pop up.  The drywall is being repaired today and tomorrow and now the contractor says we should pull the toilet and replace the seal because he thinks there may be a slow leak as well, which is not a huge job but it is another job.  And all of the fittings under all of the sinks have leaked over the the past few years because apparently that type of fitting was no good, at least that's what the realtor said, so there's that to deal with.  And the backyard is filled with Gracie's junk still.    

I'm feeling overwhelmed right now.  And Gracie wants to start taking Jack overnight again which scares the shit out of me.  Gracie has applied for jobs and wants to change his daycare and that scares me too because she has never managed to hold a job and take care of Jack by herself, or without having a core meltdown.  And writing this makes me want to cry again.

And there's dog poop all over the back yard that needs to be picked up.  Everything is too much today.  

 A sad update, the patient did not survive.

It's still snowing off and on here.  This photo was from last weekend and much of that snow has melted again but then it snowed again on Friday night.  

We had Jack for three nights.  We took him swimming yesterday morning and he had a blast.  There was a slide in the middle of the kids pool and a river too, which swept us around an island of calm.  It's hard to describe but a good time was had by all.  

We had lunch out and then came home.  He helped me with baking and then with prepping supper.  I made nasi goreng with peanut sauce.  I let him sniff everything as I put it into the sauce.  The only thing that wasn't too "yucky" was the garlic.  He licked the lime and was startled to find it so sour.  

We also made peanut butter squares.  He was very helpful at licking all the spoons and spatulas clean.  

Yesterday morning I blew him a raspberry.  He said, "Nana, you fart in your mouth."

I try not to worry about Jack spending time with his mom.  Gracie's mother and sister both went away this weekend and the uncle is supposed to supervise Gracie.  I don't get that family.  Or maybe I am way too responsible.  

Nothing much going on here.  We're taking Katie out for lunch and then heading to Wetaskiwin to visit the big guy's father who is back in hospital.  My father in law is not doing well and he is nearing the end of his life.  

I am locked in a battle with the cat who wants to eat/kill all my tomato seedlings.  So far, the cat is winning.  

Another old photo of Mum and two of her older sisters.  Mum is on the right.