My husband is gutted. His father is dying. I feel gutted to, even though I knew it was coming, knowing and understanding are two very different things. We know life ends, for everyone, including our parents and ourselves ultimately. But sitting with someone as their life slowly slips away, that is a different kind of understanding.
I will miss my father in law a great deal. I've talked to him more in the last six years that I've know him than I talked to my own father in the thirty-seven years that I knew him. My father in law has a wonderful sense of humor and I think even more importantly, he's not my father, so there is no baggage attached to our relationship, no old slights, no bad memories, no what ifs. And he's not disappointed in me or how I turned out, there is no history with us, except for these past few years. I've grown to love my inlaws which surprised me and also made me very glad to know that I still have space in my heart for more people, more loved ones.
Update, the antibiotics are working and my father in law is awake now. He sat up and said he was hungry. I'm thankful.
Sending love to you and your husband and your father-in-law and all who love him. I'm deeply moved by all you wrote today.
ReplyDeleteI think our hearts have endless room for people we truly love. I'm so glad your father-in-law is getting better. He sounds like a beautiful human being.
ReplyDelete"The hills where peace was made..." That is what Wetaskiwin means in the Cree language. Very appropriate for your father-in-law at this time in his life. A Big Hug for The Big Guy.
ReplyDeleteI had no idea that's what Wetaskiwin meant. I figured it was an indigenous name but that's about it. Now we'll have to look at the Peace Cairn.
DeleteThere is something so agonizingly beautiful at being at a loved one's bedside as they die. We learn so much about ourselves and can reflect on the relationship as you have done. I hope his awakening and being hungry mean he's better!
ReplyDeleteHe sounds like a great father and father-in-law. I hate this whole aging thing.
ReplyDeleteHow blessed you and The Big Guy are to spend these special moments. Sad, yes, but building memories.
ReplyDeleteI'm so sorry to hear your FIL is transitioning, it's tough to be there as someone does. If he's in Hospice, they are wonderful to the dying and to the Families of the dying. Both of my Parents ended up in Hospice, I'm glad that was their final destination on this side of time and eternity, they were tenderly attended to by the Staff, as were we, the Family. Your FIL sounds like a Lovely person, if you have a good relationship with the In-Laws that is very Special, it isn't always easy to.
ReplyDeleteSending my heartfelt wishes to you all in this hard time. It's a tribute to this man that you can write about his dying in such kind words.
ReplyDeleteI loved my FIL to pieces, he was so many things my own father never was/is, kind, charming, fun, generous and in that way he saved me many times over and over.
That picture is amazing BTW.
That is a beautiful photo. I'm so sorry you and your husband are losing such a wonderful person. Good parents seem to be few and it's particularly sad when the good ones are leaving us.
ReplyDeleteIt is a very emotional thing, endings. Thinking of you all.
ReplyDeleteOf course we all know death comes, but as you say, it's hard when it's arriving too. I'm so glad the antibiotics have helped and hope he's not in any pain!
ReplyDeleteSending love.
ReplyDeleteLosing a parent is just so hard. My Dad died about four years ago and I still miss him. Sending love to you and your husband through this loss.
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