My husband is gutted. His father is dying. I feel gutted to, even though I knew it was coming, knowing and understanding are two very different things. We know life ends, for everyone, including our parents and ourselves ultimately. But sitting with someone as their life slowly slips away, that is a different kind of understanding.
I will miss my father in law a great deal. I've talked to him more in the last six years that I've know him than I talked to my own father in the thirty-seven years that I knew him. My father in law has a wonderful sense of humor and I think even more importantly, he's not my father, so there is no baggage attached to our relationship, no old slights, no bad memories, no what ifs. And he's not disappointed in me or how I turned out, there is no history with us, except for these past few years. I've grown to love my inlaws which surprised me and also made me very glad to know that I still have space in my heart for more people, more loved ones.
Update, the antibiotics are working and my father in law is awake now. He sat up and said he was hungry. I'm thankful.