The week in photos.  Jack and Heidi in the snow.  Heidi is looking for mice under the snow.  The temp has gone from -32C to 10C in just a few days.  It's wonderful to be outside again, without risk of frostbite:)

The snow is melting fast.  

 

Katie had a tough morning.  I didn't take her out last Sunday because I was sick.  I think she was feeling anxious this morning, unsure if I would show up or not.  When she's upset, she takes it out on her face.  She looks like she got into a hockey game.  She's okay and not in pain.  We had a good visit.

I went to a protest yesterday, a protest against our corrupt Premier.  I'm glad I went.

AI is good for somethings:)

 

It's supposed to be the last cold day today, of three very cold weeks.  Jack is finally better, only his cough remains.  Hubby is back to work and I feel normal again.  It was a horrible long weekend, topped off by projectile vomiting (by Jack) down the stairs, to spread the vomit even further, in the middle of the night.  Poor guy.  On the upside, the dogs did an amazing job of cleaning up the vomit and I had wanted to clean the carpet on the stairs, but I just hadn't gotten around to it.  They're super clean now, thanks to my handy little carpet cleaner.  Today I may clean the furniture in the TV room.

I try not to read or listen to the news but it creeps in.  trump and putin are now negotiating the end of a war that putin started (without provocation) and are not including Ukraine (the country most affected by the negotitations, that was invaded by Russia) in the negotiations.  WTF!  And trump wants 50% cut of Ukraine's rare earth minerals in return for negotitating a peace plan, among other things.  trump always amazes me.  When you think he can't get any lower, he proves us all wrong.  It's not only sickening, but it's extremely scary.  When will trump decide he wants stuff in Canada?  And who will he ally himself with when he decides to take what he wants from Canada?  

I try not to worry about it, try to think about it, but it sits there in the back of my brain.  The future no longer seems like a good place, no longer seems like a place of hope.  

I need to channel my inner dog.

Poor Jack has been sick since Wednesday when he got home from daycare.  He was kind enough to share his germs with us, he's so good that way.  On Thursday his fever kept spiking and he was feeling short of breath.  He sounded wheezy, so I gave him some ventolin but I don't know if it did anything.  The doc is trying to figure out if he has asthma, hence the ventolin.  What worries me is that his respirations go up to 60/min when he's sick, but he recovers.  I'm not willing to spend five hours in ER with a sick kid, unless tylenol doesn't help (and it did).  I'll give the doc a call next week and talk to her about it.  He is better now, but still tired, low grade fever, and diarrhea (oh joy).

I'm fine, just grumpy and snotty.  My husband will end up quite sick with sinusitis, but that's par for the course.

Otherwise nothing going on.  I hate being sick, stuck at home with no energy.  On the upside, I don't have a fever.  I also did some reading online.  Apparently children tend to spike fevers more quickly because their immune systems are still new and they overreact to all viruses and bacteria.  As we get older, our bodies have a more modulated response.  It does scare me though when his temp goes way up.  I'm so thankful for tylenol.  I'm remember when I was a kid, pretylenol, cool baths and cool clothes to the forehead and chest.  

Because nobody was feeling good yesterday, I sat and read a book "Bloomsbury Girls" by Natalie Jenner.  It was about three women in post war London, working in a bookstore, but it was also about women finding their voices.  It was a very good book.

I can't remember who I stole this from, but I love it.

It's still cold here, and next week is supposed to be cold as well.  The dogs and I are going stir crazy, so is the cat who sits by the door and meows until I open the door, then she walks away in a huff.  We've also had a lot of snow this winter, which is good, but eventually you run out of places to put it.  The photo is Miss Katie's neighborhood.

Jack is home sick today which means today will be a loooong day.  He slept with me last night because he wasn't feeling well and he tossed and turned all night, so  neither of us slept well.  On the upside, I'm retired, and don't have to book off work and feel guilty for leaving my coworkers short.  I wonder how long until I have a fever and a cough like him:)

I went to a parenting class yesterday and it was about developing resilience in children.  It was helpful and I learned a lot, like teaching your child/grandson, how to problem solve (not something that anyone ever taught me).  There was also an acronym which I hadn't heard before HALTS.

When children and adults start to unwind, check for the following.

H-hungry

A-angry

L-lonely

T-tired

S-sensory overload

All of these things cause problems for small and large brains, especially me, but Jack as well.  It's only been in the last few years that I realize how much hungry, tired, and sensory overload affect me.  It's not pretty, but being aware of it, checking myself and Jack, is a good way to stop problems from escalating.  Overall it was a great program with lots of good ideas that I'll try and use.

I was the oldest person in the class, but I'm getting used to that.  Raising a second generation gives me a different perspective which is nice; things I stressed over the first time, don't stress me nearly as much now because I realize the behavior won't last forever (even though it feels like that at the time).  My main issues are raising a traumatized child with ADHD, but we're working on it and I'm learning how to deal with myself better, and be a better role model for him.

It's February which means I'm tired of winter.  It's also the month that both of my parents died, which gets me down a little.  My dad died twenty-five years ago tomorrow.  Hard to believe it's been so long.  We had such a difficult relationship that it was hard to say goodbye to him.  I wish he had lived long enough for me to forgive him for being a fucked up human who did his best.  I wish I could have told him that when he was alive, that I loved him, despite being fucked up.

And on that happy note, I have decided on my next pottery project.  A teapot.

 

 I went to my pottery class this morning and thoroughly enjoyed myself.  I made a "rustic looking" soap dish.  Rustic means, the edges are wobbly, different thicknesses, there are finger indentations on the outside, and the design inside is off centre.  But I made it.  The vase is also "rustic" but I love it.  Both items still need to be glazed.  It's hard for me to let go and just try something, because I always want things to be perfect.  I'm old enough now that I understand that perfection is:

1-overrated

2-no always desirable

3-attained through years of experience and mistakes

So I'm letting go at pottery class and trying things, working with my hands, and chatting with lovely women.  I'm working on a pinch pot, or a vase, or a mug.  I have yet to decide what it will be and it keeps changing shape on me, so I keep changing my mind:)

It's kind of a down day.  I'm tired of the cold and being stuck indoors, but I also have no desire to freeze my face off.  

Jack had a busy weekend with swimming lessons, then some time with his mama at the rec centre, where he went swimming again.  Yesterday was his buddy's birthday party at the trampoline park.  He slept well last night.  

Life is boring right now.  Cold, daycare and school, housework, radio, cooking supper.  I should probably take the time to work on Jack's quilt, but I feel unmotivated.  That will change with warmer weather, but right now, it's just cold.

 

The sun has been up since 8:09 and won't set until 17:28 this afternoon.  Daylight has returned to my part of the world and I love it.  I no longer want to crawl into bed right after supper.

I refused two shifts at work this week, which I felt a little bad about, but also good.  I am still trying to stop working.  I worked two short shifts last week and one was a shit show, which is not unusual.  In a forty-five minute period I dealt with five phone calls, an allergy problem, and a patient with a new chest tube (she'd had a biopsy the day before and ended up with a pneumothorax).  The chest tube needed to be hooked up to suction (something I haven't done in years, and there were no orders from the doc).  The patient with the chest tube also had pain of 9/10 and needed to have a bowel movement NOW.  I finally got the allergy patient sorted out, and the chest tube patient back in a stretcher.  I asked for help, I was feeling overwhelmed, and the lovely nurses I work with helped me and then hugged me.  

The last straw was one of the MRI techs coming up to me and demanding my help (he's a man) like he always does, with buscopan.  This tech could learn how to screen patients and give buscopan, but he doesn't want to.  I told him to leave me alone, find another nurse.  And it's days like that, that make me wonder why I even go in.

Everything finally settled down, nothing bad happened, but it was overwhelming at the time.  Just like on Wednesday with the flood and pottery class.  I felt overwhelmed and I recognized that, but I'm still working on the second part, how to stop feeling overwhelmed.  Sadly, I think my feelings spilled over onto Jack.  He wasn't feeling well, he's not sleeping well, and his routine was upended as well.  Both of us were much better yesterday and today is fine, back to normal, but I want to learn how to deal with those feelings, and be able to teach that to Jack.  It would make both of our lives better.

Jack has an appointment back at the pediatric behavioral clinic this afternoon, so that's good.  The poor guy can't breathe through his nose and I want them to investigate.  There was talk of a class on dealing with ADHD, but that went nowhere, so I'll ask again.  I think his iron levels are up, but they'll need to be checked again, to see if the medication needs to be continued.

Otherwise, trump seems to be bringing my country together which is nice.  The mad man seems to be continuing on with his regime of chaos and general fuckery.  I'm not a fan of fuckery and he gives all politicians a bad name.  I've met a few politicians in my life, and they were actually hard working people who wanted to make the world a better place, for everyone.  Sigh.  The orange POS is not one of those people sadly.  Makes you wonder where his parents went wrong, or more likely, he was just born a sociopath.  Who knows?

The photo was from over a week ago.  This morning when I woke up, Jack wasn't feeling well and had a low grade fever.  I was supposed to go to my pottery class, so I texted Jack's other grandma to see if she could take care of him.  Before I heard back from her, the condo management company that cares for my condo called to ask if I was the owner of blah, blah, blah.  I am I said.  There was a small flood, a water leak from the fourth floor, that had traveled all the way down to the 1st floor (my condo is on the 2nd floor).  A plumber and restoration service were on their way. I called my tenant and she told me she was fine and cleaning up the water.

Then I heard from Jack's other grandma, yes, she could watch Jack while I went to class.  And then a woman from the pottery class called me to say that the class had been cancelled for today because the instructor was sick.

Sigh.  

Nothing earth shattering, just a lot in a short period of time, so naturally I cried.  I snapped at Jack and then apologized and explained that I was feeling overwhelmed.  

I took Jack to visit his grandma and drove to the other side of the city to check on the condo.  There is water damage to the ceilings in the front entrance, master bedroom and bathroom, and wall damage to the master bedroom and bathroom, as well as the wall on the other side of the master bedroom.

Everything can be fixed, but it was supposed to go up for sale tomorrow.  That condo has been an albatross around my neck and I just want it sold.  I think that's why I cried this morning, I knew the condo would not be sold this month, like I hoped it would be.  Now it will be months, but it will be sold, eventually.

My tenant is fine.  She's actually moving out in three weeks, because I was selling it.  None of her stuff was affected thankfully.  But I did have to open up a claim with my insurance company, and I hate dealing with stuff like that.

After I left the condo, I went to the Italian Centre and bought a can of coke and a lovely pastry to eat my feelings.  It helped, a little.

It could have been worse, so there's that.

🙂

Today is a better day.  Yesterday was overwhelming for me and in turn became overwhelming for Jack.  He's been getting up at 4:15 am for the last three days which isn't doing him any favours either.  His fever is gone today and his nana is not spinning in circles.  Peace is restored and things will work out.