Wednesday, July 6, 2022


The weather here remains cool and damp.  Last summer I enlarged my front flower bed and planted a peony.  This flower was the only bloom on the plant this year and when I got home yesterday it was handing quite low due to the rain, so I cut it and like Ms. Moon, stuck it a jar of water and admired it in the house.

My brother in law has gone home.  His last day here was Sunday and I phoned my mother in law to let her know that J would be visiting his father from 10-2pm.  He doesn't want to see his mom and his sister said she didn't want to see him.  It was his last visit with his father, probably the last time he will see his father, a father he hasn't seen in almost thirty years.  

My sister in law showed up there about forty-five minutes after he got there.  I've learned a lot about her this past visit.  She supplied her thirteen year old brother with alcohol, a lot of alcohol, enough alcohol to make him puke.  She did this for him until he was old enough to buy his own alcohol.  WTF!

My brother in law texted me when his sister showed up at the hospital and he drove back to Edmonton in a rage.  All he wanted was to visit with his father and that was not allowed.  His visits were interupted by his mother and another sister as well.  

My brother in law is a lovely man who reminds me of a lost boy.  He swears a lot and gets mad a lot and his emotions leak from him, especially the hurt and the pain.  Him and his brother, the big guy, are a lot alike, two lost boys who have been treated horribly by their family.  It's heartbreaking.  

It wasn't all bad though.  I got to meet Aunt and her husband.  Aunt is my mother in law's sister, and another person my mother in law won't speak to. Aunt played a large role in the family; she was a safe place for her sister's children and she's important to my brother in law.  

Families are fucked up and not just my own family apparently:)




10 comments:

  1. It's good that the brothers connected, and just too damn bad the Mom and sister couldn't give your brother in law some time with his father. People genuinely suck.
    Does Jack's brain development allow him to make the connection between drinking pool water and diarrhea? That would be news he could use.

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  2. Your ending graphic is so true! So sorry about the rest of the stuff ... SMH

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  3. Love the peony. Yes, family dynamics can be a nightmare, and they're almost impossible to understand for anyone who's not from within the family. (And even then often impossible to understand.)

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  4. Oh my, what a terrible family dynamic. I'm so sorry for your BIL that he didn't get to have his possibly last visit with his father in peace. You're right, families can be truly f....d up, can't they!

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  5. Families can be SO fucked up. Even in my husband's family where everyone truly loved each other and there was very little conflict, I came to find out some years ago about abuse that had come from a distant relative. I was shocked but also not shocked. The miracle is that any families at all come through with love and care for all.

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  6. That is a crazy family story! Families are indeed much more dysfunctional than we can imagine. That is a gorgeous flower!

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  7. Oh wow, Pixie. That is just so fucked up. Why are people so damn cruel. I hope your brother in law got some closure even though it's not what he wanted.

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  8. I'm sorry your brother in k as had to deal with all that. I loved seeing the pictures of him with Jack.

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  9. It's always tragic when Family is so dysfunctional they cannot get along and play well with one another and have the deep wounds that sometimes never quite heal. Our Family is a Hot Mess, but a Fun Hot Mess, like a Train Wreck filled with Pizza, Fireworks and Glitter... I even found a Meme that expressed that visual which is perfect for us. As much of a Mess as we are, we Love unconditionally and get along, it takes Work to make Relationships as healthy as they can be tho' and for some people and Families, if everyone doesn't do their part of putting in the necessary Work, it can't Work. I'm always so sorry for those Families that never can reach a place of reconciliation and remain estranged, angry and hurt. The Friend who lived with us for 6 mos. is like that with her Only Child and most of her Grandkids, Mother and Sister... I remember thinking, in all the Years we've known one another, that they were closer and functional, apparently I was never so Wrong and it was revealing how much people can hide that Truth or not face it becoz it's just too painful a reminder. It does make me wonder about the Back Stories of Families in that Condition? We communicate openly and so tend to work out our problems and resolve them with some solutions that Work for us remaining close and Loving... becoz it's a priority apparently for us all. Balancing suffering and joy is part of the Human condition, Ms. Moon's Post today had that profound Question her Therapist once posed... it's a Deep Question anyone can contemplate... the shit factor in Life's Journey does plague some of us more than others, doesn't it my Friend? Our reaction to shitty circumstance is a Choice tho', I always at least try to choose wisely and deliberately.

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