This photo will be sixty-one years old soon.  It was taken for my third birthday and I was wearing my favorite dress.  

We're all still sick in the house.  Husband has joined me in the excess production of mucous, oh joy.  He's sneezing and coughing, I'm still coughing up crud, and Jack and husband both have fevers.  Jack just feels lousy.  I am not impressed.  Jack was supposed to be going to a skills assessment for his soccer this morning but that's not happening.  Fortunately there will be another skills assessment on Monday evening.

Virtually nothing has happened all week.  I did pick a bunch of tomatoes because it's getting cold at night but I ran out of energy after picking three plants.  There are four more to go.  I could show you a photo of the plants that I picked yesterday but that would require me getting up and getting my phone.  Too hard right now.

I also have to pick apples because the apples are ready.  I also have a photo of the tree but it's on the phone.  See above.

Nothing will happen today and hopefully I'm feeling better tomorrow to take Katie out.

I got up to brush my teeth so I figured I could post the photos.

A very interesting piece of graffiti from the skateboard park.  Jack came home from school yesterday morning because he felt like he was going to puke.  I don't think he was feeling that sick but he also wasn't feeling that well either.  I gave him the benefit of the doubt, part of the deal though was no park after supper.  Sure, sure, sure.  Of course after supper there were tears and begging but there was no park after supper.  He did play in the backyard though and he enjoyed that.  

I saw a doctor yesterday for my BP meds and I told her how tired I was.  She asked me if I was short of breath.  Yes I am.  Do I have brain fog?  Yes I do.  Do I have headaches?  No more than usual.  She checked my ferritin and it's low and she ordered a ferritin supplement for me so I'm hopeful that I'll have a bit more energy sometime soon.  I looked up old blood tests online and my ferritin has been low for the past 4 years which would explain some of the fatigue.  I don't eat red meat usually and very little leafy green veg which is probably the cause.  Last night I choked down some meatloaf and a spinach salad.

I worked in the front garden for awhile yesterday while Jack was home.  I have a problem with gardening.  I can grow just about anything but I suck at editing and pruning.  Yesterday I did both so we'll see how things turn out next year.  Because it was so wet this summer I spent very little time in the garden and it shows.  Next year I'll try again.  I removed almost all of the lamium and a few other plants that spread so much that they take over the garden bed.  I want to try more rudbeckia in the front garden next year.  I like the combination of yellow and purple, or blue.  The delphiniums that I planted in the front are doing well while the salvia gets mildew every summer which I don't like, so the salvia got yanked.

Jack was kind enough to share his germs with me when he wasn't feeling well on the weekend.  I had a sore throat when I went to bed last night and this morning I woke up with it still.  When I went to talk, it sounded like I had marbles in my mouth.  I used a flashlight and looked at my throat and it's quite swollen and boggy, including my uvula.  Nothing much is going to get done today other than a couple of dog walks.  My throat hurts like a bugger and so does my head.  I'll live.

Jack had a bit of a fever Saturday, so a quiet day.  Yesterday he was congested and plugged up.  School has started and the germs are out and about, mingling with everybody inside for most of the day again.  I imagine I'll be congested and plugged up in a day or two as well.

I took Katie out yesterday and she had a good time.  I took an ativan with us, just in case, but it wasn't needed.  We saw so many babies it was ridiculous and she loves babies.  With the government clawing back $200/month that she doesn't get, and with rent and everything costing more, she has about $20/month to spend as she pleases.  Today I bought her baby wipes (because she still poops in a diaper) and that was the $20 gone.  I realized that she can't afford to buy herself lunch out once a week anymore, so I paid for that.  I also bought her a new warm fleece jacket as it's gotten cold.  She doesn't have enough money to buy clothes and goes through her clothes quite quickly.  She pokes holes in, chews on, and rips all of her clothes.  This government disgusts me.  

I had lunch on Friday with a friend and I told her that I feel guilty sometimes that Katie doesn't have much of a life.  It seems like everyday is the same and she's just waiting to die.  And then I realized my life is not really so different and who am I to judge if her life is good or not. We're all waiting to die, going through our lives one day at a time. 

We're also watching "The Bear" and I love it!  The episode we watched last night was called "Forks".  One of the main characters was sent to a very high end restaurant to learn how to run a high end restaurant, about how to treat the customers, what's important, and why things matter.  What surprised me in this episode is that the restaurant gave back to the community and service (the chance to be of service to someone, to make their day better, to care) was what mattered to all the people who worked there.  It was about the food, but really is was about caring enough to do an excellent job.  It was not how I've ever thought of restaurants.  I've thought of hospitals and nurses like that (being of service) but not restaurants.  It kind of opened my eyes, being of service, giving of yourself can happen anywhere.  

I also had coffee with a couple of friends from work on Saturday morning and it was so nice to catch up with them.  I miss those women but I am also so thankful I don't have to work there anymore.  Health care continues to be Do more With less, thanks again to this pitiful excuse for a government who continues to underfund health care so that they can push their agenda of private health care.  Fuckers!

My sweary pottery has made it's way home.  There will be more because, the world needs more swears right now.

The basement bedroom is finished and Jack and I were able to sleep down there last night, on the bed, and not on the mattress on a floor.  It was very nice and comfortable.  I love the new flooring and there is no more mold.  We even have new windows downstairs as they were installed finally, after a three month wait.  Please ignore all of the black squiggly lines in the photos.  Apparently it comes from the invisible flickering of artificial indoor lights, although previous phones have never had this problem.  I'm just happy to have my basement, mostly, back together.  There is still a few more things that have to be properly put away in the utility room and I'm working on that.

Now I can turn my attention to the yard which greatly needs some attention.  

I've been reading "Leaving Home" by Mark Haddon, the author of  "The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-time".  It is a difficult to read book because of the neglect both he and his sister suffered at the hands of his parents, and the casual acceptance of both physical and sexual abuse by his parents. He and I are the same age and I remember the things that were just not talked about (anything difficult).

My mum was English.  After my son was born I was living at home with my parents, and within days of being discharged from the hospital, I got sicker and sicker.  I ended up back in hospital with an infected episiotomy.  I was in a lot of pain and in emergency the nurses had given me something for pain (so I was uninhibited) and the nurse had to get a sample of the pus coming from my incision.  My poor mum, even with drugs on board I could tell how uncomfortable she was being in the room with me and I said, "Oh mum, it's so hard being English."  Even as an old lady she could only say, down there, which made diagnosis difficult when she was an old lady.  There are many bits and pieces, down there:)

The book also brought back a lot of memories of trying to arrange care for mum and dad.  I only lived 150km away but I also had three kids.  When dad was dying he was very confused due to hepatic encephalopathy and mum would call me every night, crying because he was so hard to take care of.  I would listen to her for an hour while she cried and complained.  She also wouldn't move any furniture or area rugs (tripping hazards for my dad) to make it easier for dad to get around the house with his walker.  Dad wouldn't allow caregivers in the house because mum could do it he said.  In the night when he fell, mum would call the ambulance and the paramedics would come to the house, pick him up, assess him, and put him back in bed.  Neither one of them would allow things to be easier, for things to change, and now maybe I can see that they didn't want to admit to themselves how dire things were.  Dad was obviously dying and denial had always worked in the past, which is how they probably coped with the deaths of five babies/fetuses and the traumatic brain injury of my sister, but denial only works so long and death will not be denied.

Dad spent the last nine weeks of his life in hospital and when he was told that he would be transferred to a nursing home 65 km away from mum (who couldn't drive), he developed pneumonia the next day and died five days after that.  I think it was a relief for everyone when he died.  There was no more suffering.  I suppose that is the purpose of death too, an end to suffering.  

On that cheerful note, I'm off to paint the doors in the basement.

Jack was so excited to go back to school this morning.  He kept asking me what time it was and when the bus was coming.  He was pumped and he got on the bus with the two kids from across the street. 

The young woman across the street is a lovely young woman who has been struggling with some neurological problems for months now, numbness in her arm, hypersensitivity, double vision, migraines, gait problems, to name a few.  Sometimes she can't drive, so the kids are taking the bus now.  She and I chatted for probably half an hour and then I made her go inside as her teeth were chattering.  There was a cold wind this morning.

I also talked to the neighbors next door to us as well.  Their son is starting high school today and he had such a huge smile on his face.  Both of their children are good kids, they've done a good job, and been lucky.

I came inside and sat down at the computer, an entire day to myself for the first time in two weeks.  There are lots of things that need doing and nothing I feel like doing.  I have vacuumed though, the dog hair piles up so quickly in the hallway that I can't stand looking at it.  The dogs need their walks, I have errands to run, and painting to be done but I feel like doing nothing.  The horror! I stole that from Urspo.

I took the dogs for a walk.  While I was out with Charlie, an old couple with a large brown lab walked past me.  I've seen that dog charge people, even while on leash, and the man has very little control over it.  On the second encounter with them, we were both walking in circles apparently, I gave the dog a wide berth which brought me close to a fence line.  Charlie and the dog on the other side of the fence starting arguing and I tried to pull Charlie away from the fence when the other dog pushed a loose piece of the fence out of the way and attacked Charlie.  I got Charlie away but he had a gash on his nose which was bleeding a fair bit.  I yelled to tell the lady that she had a loose board on her fence and that her dog attacked my dog.  She said, your dog fault.  I took a photo of the house and will either talk to her or call bylaw enforcement.  My dogs have been attacked three times while they've been on leash in the neighbourhood.

And then I cried a little.  I think my biggest problem throughout my life has been my inability to regulate my emotions.  Yay, a new hobby.  How to learn emotional regulation as an adult.

Today is finally cooler and the dog walk was not brutally hot.  The trees are turning colour and the sky is a beautiful blue.

Our fridge arrived on Wednesday and I love it.  It's smaller and takes up less room in the kitchen.  The old one made it difficult for one person to walk past the other when one was at the sink (that would be me).  The best part, I have my ice cold fridge water again which I missed so much.  There is an ice maker in the freezer but it's not hooked up for now.  I just made ice cubes and filled the container.  Heaven.  My kitchen is back to normal and next week I hope to have the basement back to normal.

Last night we went to Jack's school to meet the teacher and drop off his school supplies.  I ran into a lot of neighbors and friends which was nice, people I wouldn't even know if I didn't have a 7 year old in elementary school.  On the drive home Jack said he wanted to started school right now and I said, "Me too."  He asks each day how many days left until school starts again.

I made it through the last two weeks of summer holidays, the two weeks without any camps to go to.  We did pretty good, ran a lot of errands and spent a fair bit of time at the spray park.  I did pretty good but last night I was worn out and couldn't handle even one more question.  I told him that but that didn't stop him.  That child opens his eyes at 6am and starts talking.  He doesn't stop until I tell him that he needs to stop talking so that he can fall asleep.  That's hard, for me:)

I remember last year feeling sad that I would be locked into school routines for the next twelve years but this year I'm glad to be locked into school routines.  

I stole this from Debby at "Life's Funny Like That".  On a completely unrelated note, does anyone know where I can find a feral raccoon?

Amur maple shrub which are common around here.  I love the colour of the seed heads and the leaves turn a beautiful red as well.

Our garage door died on Sunday.  I'm not that superstitious but that's three now, we should be done:)  Jack had a small hissy fit because he couldn't get his electric scooter out of the garage, but everyone survived.  Fortunately a very nice man came on Sunday evening and replaced both springs and the door is working again.  

The countdown to back to school has begun.  We meet the teacher on Thursday evening and Jack starts back to school on Monday morning.  I may be very excited about this, a return to the very same schedule that seemed so onerous in June, I now desire once again.  Who knew?

I've given up my membership to the pottery studio in Fort Saskatchewan.  I just wasn't getting out there enough to make it worthwhile and the drive was 30 minutes each way.  Yesterday morning Jack and I went there so I could finish up my glazing and he painted a piece of bisqueware with underglaze.  He got upset a couple of times because he didn't like how he painted it and nana showed him that you can just wash the underglaze off and try again.  When my stuff comes out of the kiln I'll share it here.  I call it my sweary pottery collection and it gave me so much satisfaction to do.  I do love a good swear.

I have signed up for more pottery classes though and they start in a few weeks.  I also want to take a wheel class in the new year.

I worked in the yard for awhile yesterday.  It's been a shitty summer with lots of rain, intense heat when it wasn't raining, and then millions of swarming mosquitos.  The weather is milder now, the lawn has dried out finally, and the mosquito numbers have gone way down.  We can sit on the back deck again and relax, but the annuals are starting to die.  Sigh.

My raspberry canes are about 7 feet tall and I just did some reading about them.  They need pruning apparently so I'll get to that next month and redo the trellis supports I made for them which aren't working all that great.  I'll try again as I told Jack.

And then I came across this man a few days ago, Dr. B.J. Miller.  He inspired me.