It's been another difficult week, man I'm tired of those kind of weeks. Katie continues to struggle but her behavior has gotten much worse since starting on her new medication, much worse. She is not sleeping or eating, and she keeps stripping off her clothes and urinating on the floor. She seems almost manic, very restless and agitated, all side effects of the drug. I did mention this to the doctor, and at first he seemed to dismiss it, but then he did change her to another drug. We'll see how that goes.
On Tuesday I had a very sick patient, who looked like she was dying. She is dying, but she looked like she was going to go while she was with us. Her blood pressure was dangerously low, 44/32, at one point but the cardiologist who is caring for her right now, refused to let us give her fluids because of her congestive heart failure. We were worried all day that she was going to code on us because of her blood pressure. It was a huge shit show with ambulances to get her back to the UAH, but she was finally returned to the cardiology unit that she was on and proceeded to code. She survived thankfully, for now.
I'm tired of doctors who refuse to listen to nurses, and I'm tired of men who refuse to listen to women. I've been a nurse for thirty-eight years and I've seen a lot of sick people and I've cared for a lot of people who are dying. I trust my gut. Sometimes I can't tell you what is wrong with a patient, but I can tell you that there is something wrong with a patient.
I had a young woman with ovarian cancer a few years ago and something wasn't right. I ended up talking to her surgeon/onocologist by phone, while the doc was in surgery. She believed me and asked me to send the patient to emerg at the Alex. I did and the patient had emergency surgery that evening.
Right now my husband has been unwell for six months and refuses to see a doctor. I'm scared he's really sick and I've told him that, but he still refuses to see a doctor. I'm so tired of having my knowledge and experience treated like it's nothing.
The stresses, whether personal or professional, seem to land on you. I hope the new medication helps Katie calm down for her sake and everyone else's. I don't know what it is about some men and doctors. My brother wouldn't go until he finally ended up in the ER. My late husband wouldn't either because he (supposedly) knew what was wrong with him. (turns out it wasn't just a pulled muscle in his back after all) Some people call me an alarmist, but like you, I listen to my gut. I'm not a nurse nor trained in medical matters, but I do recognize when something doesn't feel/seem right. Hope your husband decides to get help!
ReplyDeleteI didn't realize your husband's first symptom was back pain. Fucking men.
DeleteI sure hope Miss Katie gets stabilized on her new meds soon. And that your husband goes to see a doctor! Why are so many men resistant to getting medical attention? It does often seem to be a standard trait.
ReplyDeleteI think men don't want to visit a doctor because of fear, fear of bad news.
DeleteI hope the new med helps Katie.
I think your feelings about doctors not trusting your opinion is a very common one among nurses. I know the nurses that I'm friends with say the same. And your husband probably does trust your opinion which is why he refuses to go to the doctor. He is scared. This is so hard for you.
ReplyDeleteA smart doctor listens to nurses:) And a smart husband listens to his wife.
DeleteI admire you for writing about this. It's dreadful when what we see as the way to go is ignored. Is there another person who could have some influence on your husband's decision? We are often too close to be taken seriously, if you get what I mean.
ReplyDeleteThere is nobody else my husband would listen to. People at work have been noticing that he looks unwell too.
DeleteIt could partly be men thinking they are superior but the experience I gained during my 40 plus years in my workplace was not at all valued. Older workers are seen as being unable to adopt to new ideas and ways of doing things, yet we have spent a working lifetime adapting to new ideas and ways of doing things.
ReplyDeleteSorry things aren't good for you and your next week is better.
Next week will be better.
DeleteExperience is not something that employers can buy but it is a valuable asset.
There is a doctor on twitter who posts his experiences in ER for others to learn from, like how to treat an asthma crisis, weird EKGs, and etc. One thing he posts about four times a year, is that when a nurse tells you a patient is about to crash, pay attention and be ready. Nurses know.
ReplyDeleteNurses do know. I always tell the young nurses, trust your gut.
DeleteI hope things lighten up for you soon. Yes, having our expertise ignored happens way too often. 😟
ReplyDeleteWomen in general get ignored far too often. I'm sure things will be better next week:)
DeleteMessage to The Big Guy: "Come on dude. Listen to your wife. Do you want to be around for her, around for Jack, around to enjoy some years of retirement? You have got to stop burying your head in the sand and do the right thing. Go and see your doctor and face up to reality. There's nothing to be scared about and there are no prizes for men who stubbornly refuse to access medical support. As Nike ads often say - Just Do It!" (Nurse Pixie - you are very welcome to read this out to him).
ReplyDeleteHe'll read it himself, I'm sure. And thank you.
DeleteI don't understand Drs that don't listen to experienced nurses like you, it's arrogant and it's dangerous It's the same as a new, wet behind the ears military officer not listening to his/her sergeants with 20+ years of experience. If they don't they will fail. When I was a brand new 2nd Lieutenant my dad ( a retired Colonel) told me "kid, listen to your sergeants, they've forgotten more than you will ever know!" Wise advice, I took it. I hope things improve for you, you need some good news.
ReplyDeleteOlder people have already made a lot of mistakes and learned from those mistakes. You can call it experience, wisdom or intuition, but it's often right.
DeleteHow in the hell you can keep up with and survive all that you go through amazes me. You're so strong, but I am sure you get tired of it all. I admire your grit.
ReplyDeleteMy massage therapist would argue with you. She knows how tight all my muscles are from all the stress. Fortunately I have a very dark sense of humour which helps enormously.
DeleteYour knowledgable and compassionate voice is a positive force in this challenging world, even when it is not listened to. Good to know that the doctor heard you and changed Katie's med.
ReplyDeleteIt's was frustrating to not be listened to at first, but I do trust this doctor and he's the only one in Edmonton who deals with disabled people and mental health.
DeleteI would suggest you ask your stubborn hubby if he has his Will and papers in order so you don't have to be sorting through all that crap when he dies! Tell him: "Either get that all taken care of or get your ass to the doctor! Your choice and, hopefully, I'll be the beneficiary!"
ReplyDeleteHopefully he will reconsider!
Our wills are up to date. He's just scared.
DeleteI don't think we women enjoy going to the doctors any more than men do, it's just that we have to! I do hope your husband listens to you and that the new medication can help Miss Katie. You have an awful lot on your plate and I feel for you so much!
ReplyDeleteI hope the new med helps too. I hate watching her suffer and I can't even begin to imagine how it feels to be inside her head.
DeleteIt's one thing after another isnt it. I hope you're finding that little nugget of peace and calm in every day that keeps us sane. It's there if we make a few minutes for it! xoxo
ReplyDeleteFor me, it's ready a good book. I have a decent book right now, so I'm good. Thanks sweetie.
DeleteFirst, for what it's worth -- your sunset (sunrise?) picture is beautiful.
ReplyDeleteIt's a foolish doctor who doesn't listen to a nurse, since nurses work most closely with patients for extended periods.
Perhaps your husband is in denial about his health? It can be hard to admit to not feeling or looking well. I hope he takes your advice sooner rather than later.
It was sunrise Steve and I hope my husband does too.
ReplyDeleteI am late to the comments but I echo what everyone is saying about the importance of nurses. I always have said that they are the ones that really know what is going on with a patient. My ex-wife was a nurse and she hated it when doctors wouldn't listen to what the nurses were saying. Your photo at the top is stunning.
ReplyDeleteOur government has been working on fragmenting nursing care for decades and it's making it harder for nurses to provide excellent care, but we try.
DeleteThanks for liking the photo.