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Jack is back to daycare today and I'm thankful that holidays are over. I love that guy but five days with him, without a break, is tiring. We managed to get him to nap yesterday and I took Heidi out for a walk. I heard a woodpecker and managed to get a photo of it as well. It's a pileated woodpecker. We get lots of downy woodpeckers at our suet feeder and once in a long while, a pileated woodpecker.
Jack is toilet trained now, so well toilet trained that he woke me up just before midnight last night to let me know that he had to pee in the potty. I helped him with his diaper and then got him back in bed, but he wanted me to lay down with him, so I did. After about half an hour, I went back to my own bed, only to have him show up a couple of minutes later. He wanted milk and he wanted to sleep with me because he was cold he said, so he slept with me for the rest of the night. On a side note, why do small children kick so much when they sleep?
Last night I got a long message from my daughter in law. My son had refused to give her back their son who had been staying with him for a couple of nights. She had called the police and was distraught. I thought my son was doing well, sober ( I hoped), working, an apartment, caring for his son. I hoped. He finally showed up at her house with their son. I woke up this morning, grumpy and then realized I had hoped again and had that hope destroyed, again. I'm not getting involved.
And some funny for the new year because we all need more funny.
Update
I'm having a really hard day, between fatigue and frustration and anger with my son; I feel really down. I know it will be better tomorrow but today sucks.
HA! on the funnies. Hoar frost is magical. I'm really sorry about the disappointment. I cannot imagine how difficult all of this is. Hurrah for potty training!
ReplyDeleteJack is pretty excited about being potty trained too, including a running commentary on what he's done in the potty.
DeleteHoar frost is truly wonderful, I love watching it from very far away. As with all stuff related to winter.
ReplyDeleteThanks for the laughs!
Winter does have some good stuff, hoar frost is definitely at the top of the list.
DeleteThe hoar frost is beautiful and ghostly. That's exciting that Jack is potty trained but why do little kids want to sleep sideways, kick and generally make it impossible for anyone else to get any space? I'm sorry about your son's continuing issues; I'm with you on the hope that things will turn around only to be disappointed. Sending hugs!xoxo
ReplyDeleteSleeping with kids is like sleeping with goats, assuming that goats kick all night long:)
DeleteI almost hate hoping sometimes.
Ha ha, I love those memes. And that first picture - it looked like delicate ballet shoes to me! How lovely!
ReplyDeleteA good funny is good for the soul.
DeleteI do not think I've ever seen hoar frost. I would like to. Briefly.
ReplyDeleteFive days straight with a small child is a lot. It just is. Almost impossible to get anything done- not even sleep!
Sorry to hear about your son. Shit.
Your woodpecker is beautiful. A blessing bird.
It has to be below freezing for hoar frost to develop so the likelihood of you seeing it are slim. It is beautiful though. The whole world is painted with tiny crystals of ice.
ReplyDeleteMy son, you'd think I'd learn.
The hoar frost is beautiful. Sorry about your son being the way he is.
ReplyDeleteI'm sorry too. Thanks.
DeleteI am Jack will grow out of the running commentary of his toileting exploits. But then, he is a male so maybe not.
ReplyDeleteI am sorry your son has let you down again. Maybe step away and not build up hope. Hard when it's your flesh and blood but he and his ex are adults and the last thing you need is to be caring for another of his children.
Be kind to yourself and go for a long, healing walk in that beautiful part of the world.
I did go for a nice walk today, not long, it was a little colder today. I made it through the day and will have a good sleep tonight.
DeleteI'm sorry your son is behaving badly once again. Best to distance yourself if you can. There's not more you can do.
ReplyDeleteI was so hopeful that this time might be different.
DeleteA normal reaction. We live in hope.
DeleteI haven't seen any hoar frost in such a long time, nor even any regular frost, we just don't get any here where I live. I'm too close to the city, they have frost in the hills and occasionally a light snow which doesn't last. I think hoar frost is the prettiest kind.
ReplyDeleteI have no idea why small children kick in their sleep, perhaps they dream of running. My youngest slept so deeply he didn't move at all once asleep, he still does that now at 41.
I do love hoar frost and you're right, it is the prettiest kind. It looks like mother nature has decorated the whole world.
DeleteIn between the mundane and the drama that makes up parts of your life, somehow I forget what a lovely photographer you are until you remind me. Glorious!
ReplyDeleteWell thank you. And way too much fucking drama if you ask me:)
DeleteI'm glad you put it out there that it was a crappy day. It helps to share that - this is real life.
ReplyDeleteIt was a crappy day and today is a much better day. Last night as I lay in bed I told myself that I love me and that I am enough. Felt silly doing it but it actually felt good.
DeleteSorry about the latest news from your son. The hoarfrost photos are beautiful! I don't know why little kids kick -- but dogs kick in their sleep too. Maybe the kids are chasing squirrels? Also, I had no idea pileated woodpeckers would live so far north. I used to see them in Florida all the time.
ReplyDeleteI didn't realize that pileated woodpeckers lived in Florida too. We get lots of migratory birds from the south that are probably familiar to you, sandhill cranes come to mind, as well as pelicans. We have a huge population of pelicans that arrive every year and hang out at Lac La Biche. There are even five that like one of the small lakes near our house and hang there all summer.
DeleteI love hoar frost too. It is indeed magical! And that Burns joke made me GROAN. I'm stealing it, by the way. Thanks!
ReplyDeleteI hope you're having a better day today. It's hard when other people's addictions, bad behaviour and drama bleed into our lives and affect our own equilibrium. I hope you have a support group like Al-Anon to turn to when boundaries need strengthening.
I don't go to Al Anon but wonder if I should.
DeleteI'm glad you like the Burns joke, I love bad jokes.
I have known Al-Anon to help many family members and relatives of all kinds of addicts (not just alcoholics -- the group's name notwithstanding, it's for everyone). It teaches healthy coping skills with the drama and chaos.
DeleteI am reminded of the saying that we are only ever as happy as our least happy child. Even though you have done a lot of work making peace with your son's issues, I am sure it still affects you, so no wonder you are down, especially after letting down your guard and daring to hope. I'm sorry you're having to deal with this. Yes, tomorrow will be better.
ReplyDeleteI've never heard that quote so I googled it, of course I did.
Deletehttps://www.thestar.com/life/health_wellness/2011/08/31/why_youre_only_as_happy_as_your_least_happy_child.html
Today is a better day.
"Last night as I lay in bed I told myself that I love me and that I am enough."
ReplyDeleteCannot imagine words that are more true than those you told yourself and wrote about in the comments above. With those words, your feet are on solid ground. Sending love always.
Thank you Amanda.
DeleteSo much wonderful support here! Love it. xoxox Kate
ReplyDeleteI love it too.
DeleteA whore frost is when a prostitute can't be bothered to talk to her clients.
ReplyDeleteShe gave her clients the cold shoulder:)
DeleteThat hoarfrost photo is a treasure.
ReplyDeleteYou might like this:
I don't know the first Burns quote, but the second reminds me that in my late teens (decades ago), I named my surreptitious pet mouse Tim'rous Beastie (Tim for short). (Literay reference notwithstanding, I still had to keep his cage hidden from the dormitory Resident Assistant.) Tim was a sweet little companion. Nice to be reminded of that poem.
That is a sweet story.
ReplyDelete