I'm busy this morning in the kitchen, prepping Christmas dinner which we're having this Sunday instead of next Sunday.  Out of the corner of my eye I saw a big bird arrive at one of the bird feeders.  I looked up and spotted this Northern Flicker.  The photo is not great but the bird was so beautiful.

I hate cooking all day when we're having a big meal and people over, so I cook my turkey ahead of time and it makes my life so much easier.  The gravy is made too, as well as the mashed potatoes, and the dessert.  I follow Ina Garten's recipe for make ahead turkey.

I finished sewing the topping of the quilt I'm making for myself.  I started to quilt it together but I'm not sure I like it.  I may take the stitching out and start over with a different pattern.  You can see the quilt stitching in the top left hand corner.  I love the colours of this quilt though and I used up a lot of scraps.

My hubby and I have decided to reapply for day to day parenting of Jack for the next year.  One of the big problems for Gracie last time we went to court was the fact that we had applied for day to day parenting and it would last until he turned eighteen.  I didn't know that at the time, the judge explained it to us.  She didn't want that so perhaps a year will be more palatable to her.  I doubt it but, whatever.

Jack went to his grandma's on Sunday and stayed until Wednesday afternoon, when his aunt dropped him off back at our place.  He was exhausted and owly.  He had gone to Gracie's daycare, where she works because he can't stay overnight at her place yet.  When I put him in the tub he complained of a sore bum.  I gave him a quick bath, because he was so cranky, so I didn't get a good look at his bum.  When I went to put a diaper on him for bed, he had a bad diaper rash, again.  When I cleaned his bum and applied cream he screamed and cried.  This child has sensitive skin, but it's fine when things are dealt with in a timely manner.

I texted the other grandma and let her know.  There were a few fucks in that text message.  She said that his bum was a little sore in the morning because he'd had some diarrhea but they'd put cream on his bum and he was fine when he went to daycare.  I believe her.  It was Gracie's literal job to clean his bum and take care of him and she didn't, or someone else didn't.  Gracie's mom is so angry and frustrated with her daughter, as are most people who have to deal with Gracie.

I understand that she loves Jack and I know that he loves her but love is not enough.  She can't care for herself, let alone another human being.  I would never stop him from seeing her, but she can't care for him and nobody else wants to.  I go back to work March 1st so I want some kind of plan going forward with regards to daycare and where Jack will be staying most of the time.  

I told someone else this morning that I often feel conflicted about doing this, and I worry about it a lot.  What if he resents us when he grows up because we didn't let his mom and dad raise him?  What if she hurts him if we don't step in?  What will happen with my son going forward?  He's out of jail and has a job now but he's still a dick.  So many what ifs that I have no control over. Do our best right now I guess.  Nobody knows, especially me, what will happen in the future.