Friday, May 27, 2022


My lovely garden the other night not long before we had a huge storm.

I told Mr. Pudding that I would want dirty jokes, or even just regular jokes told at my funeral.  I thought I'd share my favorite joke here.

John O'Reilly hoisted his beer to his mates and said, "Here's to spending the rest of me life between my wife's thighs!"

That won him the top prize at the pub for the best toast of the night!  

He went home and told his wife, Mary, “I won the prize for the Best toast of the night”

She said, “Aye, did ye now. And what was your toast?”

John said, “Here’s to spending the rest of me life, sitting in church beside me wife.”

“Oh, that is very nice indeed, John!” Mary said.

The next day, Mary ran into one of John’s drinking buddies on the street corner.

The man chuckled leeringly and said, “John won the prize the other night at the pub with a toast about you, Mary.”

She said, “Aye, he told me, and I was a bit surprised myself. You know, he’s only been there twice in the last four years. Once he fell asleep, and the other time I had to pull him by the ears to make him come.”

Tell me your favorite joke.  I have a fondness for dad jokes as well.


  1. Those clouds would definitely presage a storm here. Yikes. That's a great joke! I don't know many or any jokes or if I do, I forget the punch lines.

  2. Oh, your garden!
    Okay- short joke- There's an old bull and a young bull standing on top of a hill, looking down at a field of lovely cows, contentedly grazing. The young bull says to the old bull, "Hey! Let's run down there and fuck two of those cows!" The old bull says to the young bull, "Let's walk down there and fuck all those cows."
    This is the only joke I ever remember.

  3. Ha! That's an awesome joke. I must admit I can't think of any jokes off the top of my head. I'm the life of the party. LOL

  4. Ha ha, I like that joke! I'll have to have a think about my favourite joke though!

  5. Ok, got one! It’s four in the morning and peeing down rain when a couple are woken from their slumber by a knock at the door. The husband goes downstairs and opens the door to a drunk standing there, soaking wet, who asks him if he can give him a push. The husband yells at him that it’s four in the morning and peeing down so he could just sod off. When he gets back to bed he tells his wife what happened and she gives him an earful about didn’t he remember that time they’d broken down and were so, so grateful when that young couple stopped to help. So with much huffing and puffing the husband trudges back downstairs, pulls on his raincoat and wellies and goes out into the darkness. He can’t see the drunk so he calls out “hey buddy, where are you, do you still need a push”? And from down the bottom of the garden the drunk yells back “yep, I sure do, I’m over here on the swing”!

  6. Ha-ha! That was good one Nurse Lily... but only slightly "dirty". I am afraid I don't retain jokes very well. I laugh and then I forget them. Sorry.

  7. Beautiful photo. I love the combination of spring and stormy skies.

    I have to laugh with myself. I have an almost (?) pathological fear of jokes. It is always a relief to hear one like the one you wrote down here that that doesn't reinforce that fear. There is a joke I wasn't afraid to read, probably because it was told by a child. It made me laugh. It was in a newspaper years ago. I cut the joke out and kept it. Everyone once in a while I would find it. For the life of me, I can't remember the joke and I don't know where it is. If I find it, I'll share it (-: (-: (-:

  8. Ha! I meant "every once in a while."

  9. Where do Germans keep their armies?

    Up their sleevies.

    (Not my favourite but one I at least remember.)

  10. That Joke is hilarious! And your Garden is lovely, tho' I'm sure a Windstorm took a toll and don't you just Hate when Mother Nature messes up all our tidiness like that? *Ha ha ha* We get our Pool done on Mondays and I swear every Monday a little Wind storm kicks up just to spite us and blow Leaves and debris into the nicely and recently cleaned Pool! The rest of the week it never seems to happen.