We had Jack last night and took him with us when we went to visit Katie. And I'm so tired and just have no energy. The visit didn't go well. Both Katie and I ended up crying, Jack looked surprised and the big guy protected me from Katie pulling my hair while I drove her home. Fortunately she didn't open up her door until we were at a stop sign, in her neighborhood. It might not have gone so well if she'd opened it up on the freeway.
It's not working. We can take care of Jack or we can take care of Katie but we can't do both, not even with two adults. I'm exhausted and have to go back to work tomorrow. The weekends are no longer a time to recharge and Gracie's parents don't want to help out with the little guy which makes me feel resentful. My ex-husband has only visited Katie once in the last fifteen months and he just let me know he won't be coming again for awhile. He used to visit Katie every other weekend which gave us a break but that's gone.
Right now I've got nothing left. Tomorrow will be better. A good sleep will help but changes will have to be made. We can't keep doing this.
No. You can't keep doing this. I feel like you're probably worn as thin as a sheet of filo dough. I don't know what the answer is but something has to change. You won't do anyone any good if you get sick.
ReplyDeleteGood grief. I am so sorry it's like this.
ReplyDeleteIt's all too hard. I wish you could quit day job. I wish I lived nearby. I wish I could give you a hug. I am sending you so much love.
ReplyDeleteI'm sorry it went that way. I can hear you're exhausted in your soul. I hope a night of rest helped somewhat. Sending love.
ReplyDeleteYou have every right to protect yourself and your own mental and physical health. Loving others doesn't mean letting them squeeze every bit of energy and joie de vivre out of you!
ReplyDeleteI love that picture, by the way. You can really see all the little flowerlets (is that a word?) comprising the whole blossom.
I am so sorry and mad to read how hard it is.
ReplyDeleteWe have friends in Denmark with one son who has Tourette and other health issues and the health services there have organised (from an early age on) a foster family that steps in regularly to enable his family (two siblings) to get a rest and when circumstances become challenging. He had grown up with these two families and is at equally at home in both households.
Hearing you, having my own feelings this morning, I'm wondering What the Hell Do We Have to Do so That Life Does Not Get Us Down??? Not that you don't have a lot of pressures, far more than I do; it's really myself I'm questioning. One little criticism or accusation, even if it's stupid and unfair, can tank me. At my age! How does a person develop thicker skin??? (Not you: ME.) I guess I wouldn't want to be less sensitive, but I sure would prefer it if I was less easily rattled. I don't know how I'd cope with what's going on in your life. When you care as much as you do, one can't just walk away, escape. You've got guts. -Kate
ReplyDeleteYou are surely going to have to scale back on the care-taking. I can't see you continuing on with both loads at the same level.
ReplyDeleteI am just catching up with this on Wednesday morning. I hope your Monday and Tuesday helped to steady your ship. You have so much to cope with. Thank heavens you have The Big Guy by your side.
ReplyDeleteOh I'm so sorry. There's nothing I can really say to change anything of course, but I really, really feel for you!
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