I've done very little today.  Made supper already but I'm still in my jammies.  I was feeling sorry for myself and feeling very sore.  My jaw still doesn't work right and I still can't really chew.  I called a girlfriend which helped.  We talked for a long time and then I watched a movie called "The Secret, Dare To Dream" which is based on the book The Secret from all those years ago.  I just looked it up;  it was released in 2006.

I remember reading it at the time and it gave me hope.  I was in an awful marriage and the book gave me hope which is never a bad thing.  In 2008 my husband and I went to Hawaii for a vacation by ourselves for a week.  I wrote up a list of things I wanted in a partner and I buried it in the sand in Hawaii.  I asked the universe for what I wanted because I already knew I couldn't stay with my husband.

I wanted a tall man with blue eyes and gray hair.  I wanted him to be kind and funny and smart.  I don't remember what else I wrote but in 2011 I met the big guy.  He's a good man and I love him very much and I'm so thankful we met and married.

I remember other things I wanted.  To be hugged on a regular basis.  To walk dogs.  To read books.  It wasn't anything big but hugs was at the top of my list.  My ex didn't like hugging.  I need to be touched.

So the movie was nice.  Not great, quite predictable and slow but I still enjoyed it, sitting here by myself.  

The big guy will be home in a couple of hours, with the little guy.  Tomorrow we have to take the little guy to visit his father who has been his usual dick self.  I try not to let it bother me and sometimes I succeed.  The big guy worries I will crumble but I'm tougher than I appear to be.  I've made it this far in life without crumbling.  I may fall down, I know, but I get back up.  Slightly bruised and battered but still back up.