Wednesday, October 16, 2019

Thanksgiving was nice.  We had our grandson over twice, once for supper and once for the night.  He's such a sweet little guy although his other grandparents don't think so.  He's started to make strange and he had a hard time with all the people at their house.  There was some crying and screaming and some giggling.  He's also got two new teeth just about through the gums which explained some of the crying.  And the making strange, he rarely sees Gracie's family.

My oldest daughter is pissed off with me and wants "time away from me".  Good for her.  I'm tired of her drama which she likes to blame on me.  My son is heading back to jail in the near future which kind of makes me feel like an awful person.  I was talking to a friend at work and I wondered out loud if it's not me.  I have friends who love me and whom I love.  I am kind and empathetic and compassionate, as well as passionate.  I'm loyal and hardworking.  I'm not a bad person.  My children and I are just very different people.

It's hard for me to say that I'm not a bad person.  I've always been the black sheep of the family, the difficult one.  Fuck it.  I have a wonderful husband who loves me, as I am, warts and all.  I have wonderful, loving friends.  I like my neighbors and they like me.  I love my patients.  I'm a good person, difficult at times but then aren't we all?  

We just finished watching Fleabag, a series on prime amazon and I loved it.  It's about a young woman who makes mistakes and still keeps going.  She's brave and loving.  There's a lot of sex  which is fun.  The best part is that she breaks the fourth wall and frequently talks to the audience, even while having sex.  It's delightful.  Made me cry too.  I would recommend it.

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