Sunday, July 15, 2018

This is me and my middle daughter.

  We may look normal but really, we're not.

I've been thinking about age a lot lately.  Obviously I have gray hair now and wrinkles but there are so many more changes that continue to surprise and sadden me.

I've had arthritis since my son was born thirty-four years ago.  I was walking down the stairs at work last week and realized how much more painful it was than when I started there only seven years ago.  I have arthritis in my both of my feet, along with plantar fasciitis, which can make walking painful at times.  I can feel my left knee grinding, not much cartilage left in that joint.  My left thumb has decreased range of motion and I can't grab things to open them easily anymore, in fact I just can't open things with my left hand.

A few years ago I slipped on some ice and partially dislocated a couple of ribs.  There must be scar tissue there now because it always hurts there on my back.  When it rains, all of my joints ache.

My eyesight is getting worse.  We went to a movie a couple of weeks ago and when we walked into the darkened theatre, my eyes took forever to adjust to the dark.  I couldn't move because I couldn't see.

I have foot drop on my left foot, due to nerve damage and trip easily.  I hand onto railings now when I go up and down stairs.

When  I get sick now I takes much longer to recover.  I'm not complaining, merely taking note of the changes that have happened over time.

My mother was older when she had me.  When she was my age, I was seventeen and my younger brother was fifteen.  I can't imagine.  Her sense of humor kept her going I'm sure.

I feel the clock ticking.  I've lost friends already.  There are few summers ahead than there are behind me.  I know that this is a normal part of ageing, but it's interesting to go through it.

The best part of ageing though is having so much experience and maybe even a little wisdom.  I've learned that things change and that's okay.  I've learned that I have no idea what life will be like in five years.  I've learned that the you're never to old to fall in love.  I'm learned to wait, although the big guy would laugh at that.  He doesn't realize how impulsive and impatient I was as a young woman.  Or maybe he does and still loves me anyway.

I'm off to pick up Miss Katie for a run in the park and lunch at the mall.  It's a beautiful sunny day and she loves to run.

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