My son fell off the wagon.  He was supposed to come over for supper on July 1st, instead he and his girlfriend got drunk and fought.  He smashed her TV and hit her.  This is the second time that he has hit a woman, that I know of.  The only reason I know what happened is that he left his phone behind and his girlfriend messaged me on his phone.  His defense is that he doesn't remember.  That is not an acceptable defense to me.  He is no longer welcome in my house and I am coming to terms with having an alcoholic son.  It breaks my heart and there is nothing I can do to fix him.

I'm coming to term with the fact that I basically have not control over anything.  I never did but now I'm starting to understand.  Not a fast learner.

I'm feeling out of sorts, not sad, not mad, just out of sorts.  The hunt is still on for a new group home for Miss Katie.  I am hopeful.  Last Friday the behavior specialist came out to my home to go over her recommendations for Katie.  She is not fond of the agency who now cares for Katie and especially dislikes that Katie is in a wheelchair with a cape on.  The agency's way of dealing with Katie's behavior was to put more and more and more restrictions on her.  I feel like I have failed her in someway.  It's one of those things though that happens gradually and it's not until you look back that you can see how far things have gone off the rails.  There is also the divide between the management at Katie's agency and the caregivers.  Most of the caregivers are sad and concerned that Katie has been evicted.  The management blames me and Katie for Katie's eviction.  

So I am hopeful that we find a better place for her to live with an agency that truly does want Katie to be her best and enjoy her life, not just put in time on this planet.

Things I am thankful for today.

A day off in the middle of the week.
I see my massage therapist and my counsellor today.
The sun just peeked through the clouds.
Rain last night.
Cinnamon toast for breakfast.
Time.