Monday, November 23, 2015

The black dog has caught me by the heels again.  I can feel it sitting on my face, just below my eyes.  Pisses me off.  I work so hard to not be depressed.  I take my meds.  I am thankful.  I exercise.  I know how lucky I am and still it drags me down.  I fucking hate it!


  1. I'm sorry that you're going through it. Perhaps it's the looming holidays. In any case, I send you all good thoughts. (And much admiration for that spectacular photo!)

  2. I think this time of year with the holidays and the shorter periods of light, affects everyone in some way. For those who already suffer depression its got to be a kazillion times worse.

    Sending love and light and hugs your way.

  3. I know. I do. Lately it seems the harder I try the worst it gets. I wish for sleep.

  4. I hate days like that, too. I hope tomorrow is better for you.

  5. Dogs hate to be ignored. I try it sometimes. I try and do all the things I did when he wasn't visiting and pretended not to see him. He stayed shorter than on other occasions.
    Hang in there,

  6. I think of my grief as a hollow leg I walk on. Sometimes I feel it more. Sometimes less. It's always there... and sometimes more so.

    I think we all have such legs but some of us are asleep to the pain because we are asleep to life.

    Those of us who are awake and alive and feel all that this means - all the joys, all the losses, all the hardships, injustice, etc... sometimes it gets the best of us.

    Modern culture here in the States tells us we have a problem if we feel sad. Why? Isn't life sad sometimes? Of course, it is. All the crap we can buy doesn't make it any less so. In fact, that fact we can buy all that crap basically means there is a lot of sadness somewhere because the making of cheap products creates it.

    That's not the reason to feel sad, of course. There are lots of reasons.

    When I feel them, I try to be gentle with myself. Kind. Try to treat myself as I would a beloved child. Which means I might let myself curl up in a blanket on the couch or I might insist I take a walk.

    Wishing you mercy.


  7. That should be that's not the ONLY reason to feel sad!