This is the vase that I made in my pottery class. I'm still waiting for the rest of the things that I made to be fired. It turned out much better than I expected it to. I like the colour and the leaves on it, and I was feeling pretty good until one of my classmates came in late and broke down crying. Her brother had died in an accident on the weekend and she was a mess. We held her, hugged her, and then another classmate and I drove her home as she was in no shape to drive. I was feeling shaken up too by the time we got back to class, and the feeling lingered.
I talked to my middle daughter on Sunday and she is having a hard time with her MS. She had to go off one medication because it wasn't working, but she can't start a new medication until they're sure all of the old drug is out of her system (involves bloodtests). In between the two medications, she is so tired she can barely make it through the day and her brain fog is awful. I wanted to reach through the phone and hug her. Next week she is going to Palm Springs to visit her auntie for a week, so hopefully that will be a good respite for her.
And poor Miss Katie seems to be on a downward trajectory again. She beat herself up on Sunday and then again on Monday, comple with a couple of hours of screaming and crying. I thought we had that licked, but I was wrong. I hate to see her in pain (emotional pain). It breaks my heart.
My neice is getting married in November, in Canmore, and I just booked the hotel room for us. Sadly I did not pay close attention and booked with an American company online, so the amount was in American dollars, not Canadian dollars. Not only that, but I don't want to do business with an American company when I will be staying in an Alberta hotel. The cancellation process was painful, involving a nice Philipino man and much bullshit, but I finally got it cancelled and booked a room with the actual hotel, in Canadian dollars. Now I just feel like an old woman who can't manage to do things on the internet, even though I've always been like this, except now I'm old and worry I have dementia. Sigh.
I think I just need a good cry
Yesterday I talked to my brother for awhile on the phone. He just retired last month and is having a hard time adjusting to so much free time. We had a lovely talk. Apparently the sister I don't talk to, asked my brother why I hate her. I told him that I don't hate her at all, I just don't want her bible judgements in my life. She's been rude to me since I got pregnant with me son, almost 42 years ago. I'm noticing that when people think I'm angry, it's more often that they're angry. Funny how that works.
At least the sun is shining today and it's supposed to get up to 7C. I may get out in the back yard and do some poop scooping. Don't be jealous, I know I lead a glamorous life.
Don't mess with a cobra chicken:)
Your pottery vase is absolutely GORGEOUS! Hard to believe it's your first one -- keep at it, girl, you are a NATURAL! And I love that Cobra Chicken meme too!
ReplyDeleteI love the name cobra chicken for Canadian geese. It's very descriptive and accurate.
DeleteFirst, that blue vase is a work of art, just stunning! But then, your photos here show you to be an artist, your path not taken I suspect. As for the rest, you are really going through it right now. I think there is no pain like the pain a mother feels when her children feel pain, how we wish we could take that cup from them, and drink its contents for them, but alas we cannot. Hang in there, one breath at a time, one solved problem after another, step by step. Tell your middle daughter to rest while she is in between meds. Her body is asking that of her. Also, I'm sorry about your friend's brother. Sometimes the world asks too much of us. And yet we abide. Sending love to you.
ReplyDeleteMy middle daughter worries about her business and puts in long hours to make it profitable. She worries about losing momentum. She will need to hire help eventually, as she can't do it all.
ReplyDeleteI never think of myself as an artist, but I do love beautiful things.
Siblings can be sooo complicated. It never ends. This is a very nice piece of pottery.
ReplyDeleteThanks Sabine and yes, my sisters are complicated.
DeleteI love that vase but am very sorry for the classmate who lost her brother. Sudden deaths are so shocking. I lost two brothers that way and it took a long time for the reality to set in. Our children and their problems are still our worries, aren't they? As the saying goes, it's the price we pay for love.
ReplyDeleteI guess we stop worrying about our kids when we die. I hope:)
DeleteHugs
ReplyDeleteI adore your vase x
Thanks John.
DeleteSome events seem to bring our faith in life crumbling down around our heads, don't they? If Karen weren't to make it ... my love of life affair with life would be over, I suspect. It would change my attitude considerably.
ReplyDeleteYou and yours are going through a rough patch. I'll say to you as I'm saying to myself: This too shall pass.
xoxo
It will pass. I took myself out for a long walk with the dogs and the fresh air and sunshine helped.
DeletePlease take care of yourself too.
I would be very, very proud of that vase if I'd made it. You should be too.
ReplyDeleteSo. Dementia. Very often I wake up in the morning and my brain immediately starts listing all of the things that are wrong with me and my life. Those are my awakening thoughts. This morning, for the first time, one of the thoughts was, "obviously suffering from early stage dementia." It's like it was just a fact that my mind had accepted.
Fuck.
I am so sorry to hear about your middle daughter and Miss Katie. Mothers never, ever get over worrying about their babies, do we?
LOL. I've screwed up reservations all my life, this is not new, but because I'm older, my mind goes to dementia. Fuck is right.
DeleteNo, we never get over worrying about them. I never felt like a part of my mother, but my daughters feel like a part of me.
The vase is fantastic. Fingers crossed for the firing.
ReplyDeleteThat's quite a difference with the different dollar values.
I've never heard of women having adjustment to retirement problems like I have for men.
I hope the family issues sort themselves out as best they can.
The vase has been fired twice, all done. I'm going to buy flowers to put in it today. My brother is younger than me but he's not in the best health. He's always run the household, so he'll keep doing that. He wants to learn how to garden, so hopefully he does that.
DeleteI really love the vase. That is actually my favorite color. I wonder why your classmate decided to come to class given that her brother had just died. Maybe she thought she needed the diversion from class. You were good to help her get home. I love the hockey cartoon and am so glad Canada won that game with the USA. As I get older, when I cannot remember something, I instantly start worrying about dementia myself.
ReplyDeleteI'm a fan of blue and green as well. My classmate came to class because she wanted to check on the piece she was making, they can dry out, and she'd already put a lot of work into it and didn't want it to get wrecked. Our instructor will keep an eye on the piece for her.
DeleteNeither of my parents had dementia, but both had delerium when they were sick. Fingers crossed.
My dad died young, but my mother is still going strong at 90, and is as sharp as a tack.
DeleteCobra chickens! Especially fierce when protecting their goslings! Beautiful blue glaze on your pottery vase that was lovely even without the glaze. I'm picturing it with flowers from your garden later in the year and cut flowers year 'round. Wondering how the soap dish turned out. Always sending love to you and your family.
ReplyDeleteI meant to buy flowers yesterday but completely forgot, job for today. I'm waiting for my soap dishes to come out of the kiln.
DeleteHave a good Cry, it's a LOT all at once and I'm so sorry to hear your Daughters are both not doing Well. Virtual Hugs. I sometimes wonder if Dementia is sneaking up on me too... the Kiddos laugh and tell me they wouldn't be able to tell the difference if it was... and that made me Laugh my Ass off.
ReplyDeleteI did cry yesterday and again today. You take care too Dawn.
DeleteBeautiful vase, you've got talent in those fingers. My brother died of early onset dementia, it started when he was 53, took it 10 years to kill him. So, every time I screw up a reservation, that's where my mind goes immediately.
ReplyDelete"Cobra chicken"---LOL!!! I left a comment on your more current post saying I'd borrowed this illustration--thanks for sharing it!
ReplyDeleteI live in Minneapolis, and Canada geese migrate through, and some spend the summer--I know full well they are hissy and scary with powerful wings and beaks, despite looking so darn squeezable!
Your vase is impressive and unique. You should be proud of it and use it. It would be nice to see a bunch of flowers in there. Hurrah for the Canada goose! You just got whupped McDonald!
ReplyDelete