It's beautiful outside, gently snowing. Inside, my poor brain is stuck in overthinking, and catastrophic thinking. I've been taking a lot of pepcid the past couple of weeks for heartburn and depression has caught up with me again.
Charlie attacked another dog at the dog park and the owner of the dog verbally attacked me, so I did what Charlie does and I verbally attacked her back. Then I cried and went back to apologize to her. She apologized to me as well and told me about dog parks with only one dog at a time. It's called Sniffspot. You pay to take your dog to someone's acreage and the dogs have it all to themselves. So more work (booking and paying) to take Charlie for a walk, which I don't even want to do right now anyway, because it's cold outside. Right now it's all too much for my poor embattled brain.
I texted briefly with my middle daughter and her MS has been progressing, in her gut and in her eyes. I so desperately want to fix this for her and there's nothing I can do. She doesn't want to talk about it right now, so I have to honour that. Impulse control and patience are not my strong suit though.
Depression sucks the goodness out of life. I know it will pass but today it's dragging me under.
Truth.
Hoping that it gets a bit better. We had some snow last night and I almost kicked the bins in disgust.
ReplyDeleteWe had a light snow yesterday. It is pretty. I'm so sorry about your daughter and for you. I have been depression free, or as free as is possible for months, but it's creeping back. I think it's creeping into a lot of people. For a reason. It doesn't help that Charlie is adding to the stress.
ReplyDeleteThis is all very upsetting! I feel for your daughter so much and can only imagine how you must feel. We are protective of our children and grandchildren, and we take on their pain. She's so young and beautiful and looks very healthy in her cooking videos. MS is such a cruel disease.
ReplyDeleteI am so sorry about your daughter's MS and your depression. If only we had the magic wands that could fix each other.
ReplyDeleteHugs to you, Pixie. I hope you have better days soon.
ReplyDeleteI'm so sorry! MS is a horrible disease...Andy's sister had a bad case. And dogs are supposed to bring joy, not add to your burdens. I hope your depression lifts soon. ❤️
ReplyDeleteThat meme just about says it all, doesn't it?
ReplyDeleteSometimes too much just happens at once and then every little thing becomes enormous. I know. Oh, how I know.
I'll just say that without my antidepressants, I would not be functioning. And even with them, I frequently do not function that well.
Loving you from Florida.
It's all so much.
ReplyDeleteTake it easy and try to keep stress away.
ReplyDeleteI am so sorry that you are dealing with so much. Life can be hard sometimes.
ReplyDeleteI, too, am so sorry that you are dealing with so much. I didn't know that your daughter has MS -- how terrible. My 28 year old nephew was just diagnosed with it this year. Life. I hope your depression lifts soon. Sending you a big hug.
ReplyDeleteDogs are dogs and that's what they do sometimes -- attack each other. I think being a dog owner requires a certain recognition of that, but some people really get upset. I once had a woman yell at me when Olga took exception to her dog's proximity, and I said some not particularly nice things back, so I understand how it happens.
ReplyDeleteI hope Charlie's attack wasn't serious, and I hope the Sniffspot thing works out. It sounds like an interesting idea.
I also hope things start looking up. It's a hard time of year.
I'm so sorry that you are going through all this!!! On Thursday it snowed here, then we got a helluva storm and the electricity went out. I knew I was going down with something so spent most of the day in bed trying to keep warm. 18 hours later the electricity came back on but talk about feeling like crap. But my "problems"are just minor compared to what you are going through so end of whinge here. I'm glad you were good enough to apologize to that lady and that she did the same. Sometimes a bit of "humility" goes a lot further than more aggression! You might just have made a new friend, who knows!
ReplyDeleteI salute you for doing the right thing and apologising for your initial reaction. I am so sorry to hear that your middle daughter's MS is progressing and wish that I was a wizard so that I could make a magic spell to wizard the cruel condition away.
ReplyDeleteI really admire people who have what it takes to apologize ... so many do not, when it would make such a difference and can be so healing. Good on ya.
ReplyDeleteI sure wish living "next door" to you wasnt in the neighbouring province! Not that the weight of depression can be lifted by the presence of a friend, I know that, but still ...