Jack is growing like a weed. That's his strider bike that I bought for him when he was three years old, I think. I was shocked to see how small it was, or how tall he was, now. The poor guy was sick on Friday, fever off and on, vomiting, and just general feeling crappy. He said his body hurt. He's fine now but didn't want to go to daycare this morning because it's now OSC (out of school care) and he doesn't like it. He doesn't like one of the teachers there, and to be honest it's noisy and chaotic, although maybe it's not like that all the time. There are a lot of transitions in OSC, kids coming and going in the mornings and the afternoons, which makes it look very chaotic. Jack is like me and doesn't do well with chaos.
I took Charlie out for a walk this morning, and then afterwards took Heidi out. The weather here is still lovely and the trees are not yet done their fall fashion show.
We're in the process of cutting down a large tree, with black knot fungus. Hubby climbs the ladder and cuts down the limbs, while I chop them into pieces small enough to burn. I don't mind doing it and I have become something of an expert on starting fires and keeping them going.
I finished reading "Remarkably Bright Creatures" and cried, again, even though I knew the ending. Another part of the book caught my attention. Tova made a mistake, she destroyed something that meant a lot to another person, and she was determined to "make it right". Tova doesn't argue or excuse her behavior; she made a mistake and accepted that it had caused pain to another person. Then she figured out how to "make it right". It reminded me of AA and their 12 step program. Part of that progam requires people to make amends, to "make it right". I don't see many examples of the alcoholics that I know, or most people for that matter, making amends. Have you ever made amends to someone? Has anyone every made amends to you?
Otherwise not much going on. I'm focusing on the good and not the bad, and feel much better as a result. Of course the sunshine helps.
Do you have to leave the wood to dry or out or will you be able to burn it this year?
ReplyDeleteThe colour is starting to appear in the forests now.
I can burn the thin branches and leaves now, and the bigger stuff I've set aside to dry over the winter. We can use those logs next summer and fall for fires.
DeleteIt's gorgeous where you live. Really pretty. Making amends is an interesting concept. We used to be friends with an alcoholic couple. They started AA and he came to apologize and make amends. It was kind of awkward, they had never hurt us, just themselves.
ReplyDeleteIt was good of the couple to try though but yes, awkward I imagine.
DeleteAs always- beautiful pictures.
ReplyDeleteI'm not sure if I've made amends or not. How bad is that? Also not sure if anyone has made amends to me. I think my ex-husband tried some years ago when he said to me, "I'm really sorry about al the crap I put you through." And that was that.
I don't know if I've ever made amends either which bothers me. I've been thinking about this since I wrote yesterday and god knows I have a lot to atone for. My ex-husband would never apologize to me. He'll go to his grave believing he was right.
DeleteFor me, making amends is a constant process--not that I do a lot wrong but I'm very self-aware. I tell my daughters most of the parenting stuff I thought I messed up on, even though it was done out of ignorance. They share their shame at how they sometimes treated us, their parents. Younger Daughter in particular tells me how guilty she feels about how awful she was to her dad when she was in high school; then she left for college and not too long after that, he got cancer and died. She feels like she can never make amends to him. I'm sure it's caused some of her issues.
ReplyDeleteAmends? WTF are those, lol?
ReplyDeleteWhite europeans are not known for their ability to make amends, are they? I'm sorry. I'm beyond sorry that families were ever torn apart and children sent away. It breaks my heart.
DeleteI have apologized to people and some have apologized to me. Does that count?
ReplyDeleteYes, I think that counts. I have apologized to my children for being a crappy mother and my daughter apologized to me for all the shit she put me through when she was a teenager.
DeleteThat photo of the leaves is so beautiful and reminds me why fall is my favorite season. I started thinking about making amends. I don't think that there are major defining moments of making amends in my life. If I could think of any specific person in my life, it would be my oldest son. Our relationship has been repaired and both of us have tried to leave the past in the past. My son was into drugs, he got arrested for stealing, dropped out of college, etc. It was very hard dealing with him. Once he even called the police on ME because I was making his awful girlfriend get her stuff out of our attic. I could go on and on and on. But now, we have mended the hurt. That photo of Jack is precious too. It's amazing how quickly kids grow. When I taught, I taught grades 6 and 7, and I would have the same students two years in a row. When they came back for grade 7, I was surprised at how much they had changed over the summer!
ReplyDeleteIt sounds like you and I had similar experiences with teenagers. I'm glad your son was able to get his shit together and you two have mended the hurt.
DeleteIt is shocking how quickly they grow and it's not until I see a photo sometimes that I can see how much he's grown.
That boy is tall!
ReplyDeleteOh yes, amends are important but not with just anybody. I think it has to be a two-way thing.
Your autumn leaves are so striking!
He is getting tall, that's for sure. I'm learning how to forgive people, without letting them back into my life. I don't want to be angry for the rest of my life for things that happened so long ago.
DeleteHaving grown up surrounded by Jewish traditions, this is the time of year to be making amends before the Day of Atonement. Although I'm not Jewish, I always thought it was a powerful practice to emulate. So yes, I have atoned for many misdeeds and I'm happy to say that 99% of folks have accepted my amends and relationships have grown stronger. I highly recommend it.
ReplyDeleteThank you. It's good to know that it can work and make things better.
DeleteSunshine helps a lot! Sorry Jack has been unwell. When it comes to chaos, I'm the same way -- I don't enjoy a loud, unruly environment. (Probably why I work in a library!)
ReplyDeleteI hate chaos too, and noise especially is hard for me to cope with. I suspect Jack is the same.
DeleteBoy, he really is getting big! Love all the colors in the photos.
ReplyDeleteI love this time of year, it's even better than spring in some ways. Less mud:)
DeleteI know you live in Florida and hope you guys are not in the path of Milton.
Jack is growing up! I have made amends. I had a difficult childhood which left me an often difficult person. Being sorry and truthfully expressing it helps the atoner as well as the recipient of the apology.
ReplyDeleteI'm often a difficult person as well and I know I've hurt people. I'm trying to rectify that but it's hard. To be honest I was a deeply unpleasant young woman and I don't like thinking about that because I feel awful about it. I did the best I could but I guess I haven't forgiven myself yet.
DeleteMy first husband "made amends" to me -- I didn't really think it was necessary, but I do understand it as an important step for the alcoholic.
ReplyDeleteIt seems to be a step that many alcoholics like to skip over. I've lived with alcoholics my whole life and never has one ever apologized to me for their behavior and their treatment of me. I'm glad your first husband did make amends.
DeleteI've said sorry to my boys so many times for putting them through the hell that was my marriage. Oh I put the violence and overspending squarely on his shoulders but my starting to drink heavily because of it is absolutely on me. I don't know how or why but my kids are great!
ReplyDeleteI'm so glad your kids survived and did well. We had the added bonus of Miss Katie who made life so difficult for everyone in our family, not her fault, but it sure added a huge amount of stress to our family.
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