Just a random day lilly on my walk the other day.
Yesterday, Katie and I had an interview with a news agency in the city, about her having to pay for her incontinence briefs. Katie has worn diapers her whole life but since she turned eighteen CAIL has paid for them, $217/month. Katie also lives on something called AISH (Assured Income for the Severely Handicapped) which is not a lot of money. Right now she has enough to cover her daily living costs but with very little money left over each month. In March her contract, or whatever they call it, was up and she needs to be reassessed to make sure she is still disabled? Still incontinent? I called CAIL, a four to six month waiting list to be reassessed because they are short staffed.
There is a whole long story behind this but I'm too lazy this morning to write it out. There is a reporter who is helping disabled people deal with CAIL and AHS, to get the supplies they need paid for, and yesterday she came over to Katie's house and she wrote an article about Katie. It says so much about a government that is willing to screw over disabled people while handing out subsidies to oil corporations.
But I digress. Jack has been awful this week, a lot of acting out and meltdowns, he bit one of his friends at school because his friend was, "...not letting him relax and was stressing him out." Gracie's words I'm sure. So I asked him this morning if mama was mean to him. He said yeah, she yells at me sometimes, so do I sometimes. I try not to but he can be a challenge.
But then he went on to tell me about her leaving him alone again. He said he didn't want to go to the laundry room with her and she left him alone in the apartment. So he took her keys and went outside but when he tried to get back in the building, he couldn't reach the lock to open the security door. The he said that when they were coming back from the store, Gracie was walking ahead of him and went into the building without him, leaving him outside. Both time she talked/yelled? to him from the balcony, then came downstairs and let him into the building. He's five. He has abandonment issues because of her and she pulls this shit and I'm angry and tired.
Update
I talked to Jack's other grandma and she doesn't know what to do. She suggested that we should teach Jack how to be safe and I pointed out that he's five and it's our job to keep him safe, not his job. She also can't take care of him this weekend, or supervise Gracie, because she's going away for the weekend, so she's obviously heavily invested in keeping Jack safe. Still haven't heard back from the lawyer.
Document and report. But you know all this.
ReplyDeleteI am so sorry you and Ms Katie have to deal with this bs! I hope the article is helpful to you guys. Poor Jack. If only people were really listening to him, they'd see the true nature of Ms Gracie. Her visits with him should be supervised only.
ReplyDeleteHer treatment of her son is mind-boggling. I can only hope at some point you can get full custody.
ReplyDeleteI hope the reporter's story can help Katy with CAIL and the reassessment. At the very least, her benefits should be continued until such time as the reassessment occurs and the decision is made. The delay is not her fault, it's the bureaucracy's.
ReplyDeleteI'm glad the reporter is helping Katie. It sounds absurd that her reassessment would prevent her from receiving the help she needs in the meantime. That's just plain cruelty.
ReplyDeleteA certain amount of yelling is always going to happen, I imagine, when raising a child. But locking a five-year-old outside of a security gate is neglectful. I hope you're keeping a record of these incidents should the need arise to relate them to the courts.
Being American, I fully understand a governments twisted priorities. It is shameful, but with many here is no shame.
ReplyDeleteThe people in charge who keep putting Jack in the position need to come to your house after one of his 'maternal' visits. Maybe then they would do the right thing. That poor child.
The most frustrating part of all of this is that you have no control over how the bureaucracy handles these very important issues which affect real people in real time. I am so sorry.
ReplyDeleteBoth situations hurt my heart and make me furious. That photo of Katie and you is frameable. Beautiful shot!
ReplyDeleteThis set up with Gracie has to stop. But you know that. You can only help one of them and it's the child first.
ReplyDeleteBoth of these situations must be really hard to deal with as you have to react to what others are doing, and you don't have control over that. The issue with Katie sounds like something that would happen here in the USA.
ReplyDeleteTeach a five year old to keep himself safe? Does Other Grandma hear herself and how idiotic she sounds? Poor Jack. His "mother" shouldn't have any more unsupervised visits with him, period. What if a fire started while he was alone in the apartment? What if someone snatches him while he's standing outside, locked out? She's clearly a danger to his physical health, not to mention his mental health. I'm so sorry for him and you both. Jack is lucky to have you.
ReplyDeleteWow. Gracie never disappoints in her awfulness.
ReplyDeleteThe golden days of retirement when you can sit back in your rocking chair admiring yet another sunset while chuckling about life's merry-go-round ride.
ReplyDeleteWow, as you say, other grandma really puts herself out doesn't she!!! Mind you, Gracie is the mother, not grandma! I'm so sorry (again), but I love that picture of Katie. Tell her how pretty she looks in that blue dress!
ReplyDeleteI'm sure you are documenting things for his sake. Same-O here with the severely Disabled being neglected and denied Services and Aide. Both The Young Prince and his Mom have Schizophrenia yet SSI won't approve him at all for any Income and literally no place will hire him due to it being a liability to have someone in his condition on their payroll. He's fortunate he has Allen or he'd be Unhoused and without a Penny to his own Name to buy even basic necessities, let alone Medication to keep somewhat stabilized. The Daughter has a Friend who lets her Clean his Mechanic Shop Three Days a week and she earns just barely enuf to keep herself in Cigs and Alcohol. If she didn't drink she'd be unraveled as Hell with the Mental Illness, so Alcoholism is preferable to a Schizophrenic who is Wheels Off the Rails. She's somewhat functional with a couple Drinks daily... but, like Katie, has to be re-evaluated all the time and the Backlogs of The System are Months, sometimes Years, long as well so they almost never get to your Case... so if they have no Family covering their expenses, they would be destitute. If she didn't live with and be fed by us she'd still be Homeless and Hungry... which is how she lived most all of her Adult Life. When she was actively using I couldn't have her here... but she's been Clean for a few Years now and that's great progress and we get along for the first time ever. I am so glad the Media got to interview you and Dear Katie and bring the plight to the attention of the Public. How America treats it's Disabled Veterans is equally disgraceful... so I've had to fight hard for The Man as well... you get battle weary.
ReplyDelete