It's Jack's birthday tomorrow, he'll be five. Yesterday we had a birthday party for him at a local school gym, and he and his friends had a blast. The theme was Minecraft and for those of you who don't know, Minecraft is a video game and the cake was decorated to look like a creeper, whatever that is. I've never decorated a cake before, but went online and was happy with the results. The kids loved it and all of them had green tongues, which they had to show each other, over and over again.
I'm off all week and I'm busy cleaning and getting ready to leave. I'm flying out to Vancouver on Wednesday to spend a few days with my daughter and her fiance. I'll also be staying with them, sleeping on their couch, which should be interesting. They have a very small place, no spare beds. I'm looking forward to spending time with her and taking lots of photos.
Not much going on here, now that the birthday party is done. Gracie and the rest of her family didn't want to come to Jack's birthday party. Whatever. Jack doesn't know the difference, I hope. Gracie's apartment reeked of weed again this weekend, two weekends in a row. She's supposed to be sober but she and her family don't count weed as an intoxicant. Whatever. I let Gracie's sister know and she said that she would drive over to Gracie's and check on Jack, but she didn't. Whatever.
Gracie is slowly sliding back into her old ways. Each time we visit, to drop off Jack, her apartment gets dirtier. To begin with, the apartment was clean when we dropped him off, but it's been not quite two months since he started spending Saturday nights with her and it has been going downhill since then. A tell for her.
There's nothing we can do, other than wait. If we show up and she's clearly intoxicated, we will not leave Jack with her. Sigh. It just never ends.
I took Miss Katie out for lunch yesterday, and we had a good time until I drove her home. She wouldn't get out of the car and when I finally did get her out of the car and into her wheelchair, she just sobbed, which got me crying. Apparently she started her period on Saturday and that may or may not have been the reason she was crying. She also had a new staff that morning and that set her off as well and she had smashed her head and nose against the wall or the floor before I had picked her up. She breaks my heart some days.
The other day I was reading a book and realized that one of the characters in the book went home to an empty house after work everyday. I know that many people live alone but it made me realize how long I've been taking care of other people. I live in Edmonton because my daughter lives here and will always live here because my daughter lives here, and my grandson as well. My life is pretty much planned out until I die and I don't know if I like that or not. Who would I be if I didn't take care of others? No wonder my shoulders ache all the time:)
"She breaks my heart some days."
ReplyDeleteHow awful that she hurts herself. I've had some heartache for Emil's challenges and the things he will never do or have in his life, but my heart's never been broken. I feel for you and Katie. And the horrible position you and Jack are in when it comes to his mother's troubles; so hard to accept. You ARE carrying a heavy load. xoxo
Hurting herself is part of how she communicates her anxiety and displeasure. When she sobs though, is when my heart breaks.
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ReplyDeleteWith the weight you carry it's surprising you are upright. I am so sorry about all of this. It is a pleasure to read about the youngster having a wonderful time at Jack's party. You did a great job with the cake!
ReplyDeleteThe kids had so much fun; there was a bouncy slide which was the hit of the party. I'm a good baker but have never decorated a cake, so I was pleased with how it turned out.
DeleteThat's quite the cake! If I tried something like that, it would be a brownish mess eventually.
ReplyDeleteI love baking but maybe now I'll have time to try my hand at decorating too.
DeleteThat's an awesome cake! Enjoy your trip to Vancouver and have lots of fun!
ReplyDeleteExcellent cake decorating! Small children should not be sleeping in homes which are polluted with cannabis/marijuana smoke. Shame on Gracie! I hope you have a pleasant, carefree stay in Vancouver.
ReplyDeleteIt's not just Gracie, her mom and her sister also use weed a lot. When we went to Gracie's gender reveal party, the entire house reeked of weed.
DeleteAmazing job on decorating the cake, it's impressive with its preciseness. Here's hoping for a delightful stay in Vancouver.
ReplyDeleteEnjoy Vancouver. You deserve a break. Try and relax knowing that someone else will take on the caregiver role.
ReplyDeleteMy daughter will be cooking for me and I'm going to be taking pics.
DeleteGlen and I, before grandchildren, talked about moving (at least part time) to Costa Rica or Mexico but the second Owen was born I knew I wasn't going anywhere. This is the way of it, isn't it? And mostly that is fine but sometimes it is hard. We have spent our entire lives "being there" for others in so many ways. I can't even imagine what my life would be like if I hadn't had children.
ReplyDeleteWell. You did a great job on that cake and I hope you have a wonderful time in Vancouver.
I can't imagine not having children either, but sometimes, I wish I didn't have to take care of everybody.
DeleteLove the cake! I don't know anything about Minecraft (except that the kids are very into it) but I knew the icing was some kind of video game reference.
ReplyDeleteVery frustrating about Gracie. It's hard for me to understand why someone with her history would switch to another intoxicant rather than being sober, but I don't inhabit her brain.
Caregiving is both a blessing and a curse. I suppose, as with most things, it's a question of balance. I think my caregiving threshold is somewhat low -- it's all I can do to manage Dave and the dog!
Gracie has been using weed for years. She's had cannabinoid hyeremesis syndrome (when Jack was four months old) and also cannabis induced psychosis which included hallucinations, (we didn't know this at the time they happened). The biggest problem with weed, is her family's acceptance of it, they don't see it as substance abuse, like the alcohol.
DeleteActually I disagree with you about the caregiving. You are a caregiver and I see it all the time, the care you give to your plants. You're not just a gardener, you rescue plants all the time and nurse them back to health.
Happiest of birthdays to sweet Jack. Here is hoping to a great year ahead for him and you guys.
ReplyDeleteThank you and I hope the same for him.
DeleteThe cake is wonderful! I don't know that I've found the balance between caregiving and living my own life. I really do try! I wish there were an easier road for Jack--without messed up Gracie and her family, but that seems unrealistic at the moment.
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