Today is the anniversary of my dad's death. I wish I could talk to him now, tell him I forgive him and that I understand now that he only wanted to protect us.
We went to court again yesterday. Jack will stay with us at least until July when we have another court date. Jack will start staying one night a week with Gracie and then in two months, it will be two nights a week, Friday and Saturday. Gracie started working with homeless people on Monday, I'm guessing at the new navigation centre set up by the local and provinicial government. She told her mom that because she had a job, Jack could come back and live with her again. She has a serious disconnect in her brain, not even addressing her addictions and the trauma it's caused Jack.
On the upside, the judge told us to go ahead and register Jack in our local school, until we see what happens going forward. I told the judge that Gracie always goes off the rails in August or September, every year. He looked surprised but thanked me for my honest response. I doubt that Gracie liked it but I'm tired of how her family deals with everything, including her addictions. If we don't talk about it, out in the open, nothing will change. So Jack is set for kindergarten, even if his mom goes off the rails.
The down side of him spending more time with his mom is that his behavior always seems to get worse. Not sure if it's because of how she deals with him or his response to stress, or both. Probably both. I try to remember to be patient but it's hard sometimes.
Poor Dino. That was a hard situation for you to deal with at such a young age. I hope all turns out as well as possible with the Gracie/Jack situation. Time will tell, I'm sure.
ReplyDeleteI am so confused as to how it always comes back to Gracie getting more time with him ... ? Things have never been the same since you had to pick him up from the big event that started all this. So many meetings, court dates etc. Her family knows the truth and just allows this to happen every single time, Jack won't enjoy his time there and you will have to pick up the pieces because his other grandma and aunty will be in the Caribbean sea as per usual!
ReplyDeleteThere are too many people who are putting Gracie's rights first, and Jack's security and safety last. I' so sorry. I'm glad you spoke up to the judge.
ReplyDeleteFirst off- what a beautiful place you live in. And what a beautiful child you were. I am so sorry you had to suffer the trauma of losing your beloved dog.
ReplyDeleteYou are kind in your forgiveness of your father.
And you are so unwavering in your focus to do the best for Jack. Let's see how this new chapter of Gracie's live turns out.
There's nothing quite like the expression on the face of a dog in the snow.
ReplyDeleteThere's nothing quite like the expression on the face of a dog in the snow.
ReplyDeleteI don't understand a system that keeps putting Jack in harms way. Anyway, you were an adorable child. I am sorry about Dino, hard lessons to learn as a kid. It sure does hurt.
ReplyDeleteWhat a sweet dog and sad story! Your dad looks tall. I think we all have things we wished we'd said or not said to those who have died. I told my husband near the end of his life, frustrated with all the demands, "I can't do this." I hope he didn't feel blamed or guilty; I still regret my words. Hope that the Jack situation works out OK; Gracie is so toxic for him.
ReplyDeleteI'm glad Jack is staying with you, at least for the time being. Having him in school will help give him a sense of even more routine, which is always good for kids (say I who have never raised kids but that's what I've been told). That's terrible about Dino! What a sad memory! We had some short-lived dogs too. People didn't invest as much in veterinary treatment back then as they do nowadays.
ReplyDeleteSchool is hard enough without being moved between households, one of which is occupied by a unstable personality. I get the desire to keep a family intact, but sometimes it's just not possible. Jack is so very lucky that you and the spouse stepped in to save him.
ReplyDeleteWell done for being outspoken with the judge.
ReplyDeleteI will never understand the court's desire to keep a child with a parent that is clearly unfit. Kids need stability and bouncing them around like that does not provide. Good on ya for speaking up and continuing to do the right thing for Jack. He needs the stability you & your husband provide.
ReplyDeleteIt's as if Gracie doesn't know herself. The idea of being a proper mum to Jack is so different to what it will be like in practice. Dealing with unfortunate homeless people will undoubtedly blow her off course. You have to be strong and comfortable in your own skin to deal effectively with the challenges that such work will present.
ReplyDeleteIt seems you're having a 'memory' time, your lovely dog and your Dad, I had a sad time yesterday, but bucked up today.. Yes your grandson Jack needs a stable home and you're just that.
ReplyDeleteI have been reading your blog for a while, but never commented. This time I must, Jack's well-being is so dependent on you. I don't know the whole story, but enough to know that. I'm sorry for the burden you've been given. I admire your fierce love for this little boy. I'm a 72 year old widow and can't imagine taking this on. I wish you the best and hope your strength carries you through.
ReplyDeleteThat legal Gracie situation is just so frustrating. You have given Jack the only stable, safe home he's known; that should be more than long enough for a judge to say, thinking of Jack's best interests, that the boy should remain with you. Oh Pixie, if only WE ran the world! -Kate
ReplyDelete