The lego is obviously getting out of hand around here.
It's bloody cold today, -20C this morning, but it's supposed to warm up today and tomorrow it's forecast to be 2C. I see a long dog walk in my future.
I thought I was going back to work on March 1st but I heard from my short term disability insurance person and she said I need to take a six week course to help "ensure my successful return to work". I hate being told what to do, hate being told what's best for me. I asked what this course entails and she had no idea, it's tailored for me. Oh yay. They also won't be in contact with me right away, it may take up to a week, so now that's seven weeks away for a start back to work date. I need to just let go and do this I guess. Fighting it won't get me anywhere.
The other night Jack was looking at photos of his grandpa in his bedroom. He looked at me and said, "Who shot grandpa?" (grandpa shot himself in the head). I don't have a poker face. I told him he needs to talk to his grandma about this, which is the first time I've ever not answered a question of his. He didn't bring it up again. I did let his grandma know and she agreed that eventually we will have to tell him about his grandpa's death by suicide.
The other morning before Jack left for daycare, we were sitting on the couch, and he casually asked me who would die first, me or poppa. I told him that I didn't know but told him that if we're lucky, we'll live for a long time. He asked me if he was lucky. I told him that he was a very lucky boy.
Jack continues to be high maintenance right now, wanting more attention than you can give, insisting we look at him, while we're looking at him. I know it's a phase, I just hope it passes quickly. He starts swimming lessons on Saturday which will give him another activity to use up some of his energy. This morning he was up 5am, wide eyed and bushy tailed, talking a mile a minute. I'm pretty sure he has ADHD but that doesn't bother me (there's nothing I can do to undo it).
My son also has ADHD and learning disabilities; the apple doesn't fall far from the tree. School was very difficult for my son and I do worry about that with Jack but things have improved since the '90s (I hope) and forewarned is forearmed (supposedly).
I have ADD as well but I've always found it to be a bonus, although not everyone would agree with that. I'm impulsive, restless, a daydreamer, and obviously have trouble coping with stress. I daydreamed all the time in school but still got good grades. I did learn to become organized and a planner which made life a lot easier. I also can pay attention to more than one thing at a time which was a huge plus in raising Katie. I also reframed how I think about some things. Instead of viewing myself as a quitter (many people told me that when I was young, you never finish anything), I realized I like learning new skills but got bored easily and then gave up the "new" thing. However, I still retain the new skills that I learned so I decided that was a bonus. I also love learning. I couldn't change who I was but could change how I viewed myself which just made me realize I can do that with other parts of my life as well. Is this a breakthrough?
Otherwise, virtually nothing going on here. Another day passes. Dishes. Laundry. Sweep the floors. Make supper. Bathtime. Repeat. I'm reliving my thirties all over again, although I must say it's easier with only one child, but that is offset by my age.
Here we are also required to a phasing in period after a longer absence from work. Usually, this means slowly building up the working hours over an agreed period and weekly feedback with the occupational physician at work. I once moved faster than agreed and was told off very sternly.ReplyDelete
I am currently reading the novel Bewilderment by Richard Powers and it has a good take on how we define children who don't fit with adult expectations.
Keep up the lego work. Excellent!
I loved "Overstory"! I didn't realize he had written another book. I am so happy.Delete
I will also be slowly phased back into full days at work but first I have to complete this course, whatever that will look like.
When I returned to work after sick leave from an operation, I had to meet with Human Resources to work out a "return to work" plan. It wasn't a course, per se, but information and planning to ease the transition. I decide to start back at full time right away, which proved to be an overconfident mistake on my part, LOL. After two days, I was so exhausted, I could barely function. So HR and I had to revise my "return to work" plan to start at part time for 3 days a week, slowly working up to full time for 5 days a week. Live and learn!ReplyDelete
I know I need to start back slowly but I also hate waiting. Impatient I am:)Delete
A SIX WEEK COURSE?! What the heck?ReplyDelete
The last thing in the world I would call you is a quitter.
Oh, I have tried and quit many, many things, but I realized I like trying new things and that's ok.Delete
The perception of "quitter" always has confounded me. When I was a kid, my parents decided I should learn to play the piano. I had ZERO talent and just hated it. Hated. My mother was very intent that I would not be a quitter, and that I would persevere. After a few years of conflict, I was finally allowed to quit, and it was a happy day for me.ReplyDelete
I wanted to learn how to play the piano and I wanted to join the band, my parents wouldn't let me do either. They were worried I would quit. My middle daughter took paino up to grade 8 and then quit. She could play quite well and has a beautiful singing voice.Delete
Wisdom is knowing which activities to stick with, which ones you've already mastered and which don't interest you at all. It sounds like you've found that balance. Kids Jack's age are a handful no matter what. You're handling the situation beautifully!ReplyDelete
I love to garden and continue to learn something every year that I garden, which is probably why I like it so much. Quilting is the same, I learn something new every quilt, although I do get bored near the end of putting them together.Delete
Jack is an interesting person. I can't imagine how Gracie will cope when she tries with him again.
It took me many years to get through college because I couldn't focus on a major. I was interested in too many things. Sometimes curious minds are misread. I wonder what you will be doing for 6 weeks?ReplyDelete
There are so many interesting things in the world, aren't there? I'll keep you updated as to what my 6 week course entails:)Delete
Gosh, I think Jack's question about who shot grandpa would have thrown me too. Poor little lad, having to even think about that stuff - but I think you deal with it wonderfully!ReplyDelete
What really threw me, is how did he know grandpa died from a gunshot wound? Or was it just something he thought of because he likes to shoot things when he plays?Delete
If you don't try new things you will never know if you like them. If you don't like them why continue? That's not quitting. That's common sense.ReplyDelete
Jack's little mind is certainly busy.
I like how you think however not everyone shares that opinion. Jack's mind is very busy, all the time. He's quite interesting.Delete
I think you're right -- if Jack DOES have ADHD, he's in a much better position now than anyone would have been years ago. (Besides, don't ALL little kids have ADHD to some extent? Having a short attention span and lots of energy is just part of being little, isn't it?)ReplyDelete
There is a lot more known about ADHD now, which is good. Some of the stuff, I wasn't aware of, like sensory issues and emotional regulation difficulties. Explains a lot of my early years.Delete
One can never have too much Lego. I agree with the insurance person. Take the six weeks off and be healthy when you do.ReplyDelete
I hate being told what to do though and I had my mind set on March 1st. I don't have a choice so the six week course, it is.Delete
Today a colleague, father of three young boys, told me that there is a well known lego wisdom which goes like: Whenever you curse yourself because you stepped barefoot on a lego, remember that somewhere in the world, there will be a person who has kneed on a lego, and you will feel so much better.ReplyDelete
I tend to find the tiny lego pieces by crawling around on the rug, on my hands and knees, very effective way of finding them:)ReplyDelete
I read your blog all the time; don't think I ever comment...But I have to say that I think you handle stress amazingly well. You seem to be the center of such strength for your family. And how you're raising Jack; he is lucky to have you and your husband. (Grace would put me over the edge.) Hope your return to work goes well!ReplyDelete
Thanks for leaving a comment Elle. I don't handle stress well but probably better than some. I don't drink or gamble, so there's that, but I do cry a lot and get angry too.Delete
Changing the way I view myself has definitely been a breakthrough. So much of how I viewed myself was based on how others viewed me, positively or negatively. There is personal freedom in viewing myself with love and kindness and respect and honesty and humor, no matter how others see me.ReplyDelete
Thank you for this, for the reminder to see myself with love and kindness. I often forget.Delete
"The LEGO is obviously getting out of hand around here" and the corresponding Photo... made my Day, Thank You. *LMAOROTF*ReplyDelete
Glad it make you laugh. Made me laugh too.ReplyDelete