I took the dogs for their shots yesterday and Lucy is not as close to death as we had feared. She's on a new medication now, a diuretic which will help to remove the fluid from her lungs. She had it IVP (intravenous push) yesterday and we saw a huge improvement. The pills are supposed to be given twice a day but that won't work when I go back to work, even once a day will help though. I took both dogs to the dog park and they had a great walk and Lucy peed a ton.
The lego building continues on, unabated in our home.
About fifteen years ago my husband broke his left leg and ended up with a rod and screws in his leg. A few days before the weather changes, he is in a lot of pain. Last night he asked me to put some peppermint oil on his leg for the pain, and then Jack wanted to get in on the fun. I put some peppermint oil on Jack's hand and he proceeded to slap my husband's leg which caused even more pain. I taught him how to gently rub the oil on poppa's skin. Then Jack touched his eye. OMG. I did that once at work by accident and it is so painful. Crying and yelling ensued.
I told him to stop touching his eye, scrubbed the oil off his hand and then got him upstairs for a shower to help wash the oil out of his eye. As he went flying into the bathroom, he managed to whack his head on the doorknob which caused more crying and screaming. I finally got him into the shower, washed his hand again and let the water do it's work.
When his shower was finished, he wouldn't get out of the tub and I finally left him in the bathroom by himself. More crying and yelling. He wanted nana to wrap him in his PJ Masks blanket and bring him downstairs. I told him no. He came downstairs to tell me this and then ran back upstairs. I again told him no. Then he came back downstairs and put his blanket on the register to warm up; the cat promptly curled up on his blanket and Jack remained naked.
Eventually he got his pyjamas on and a diaper, it took him forever to fall asleep. At one point he got up to go to the bathroom and he gave me stinkeye, asking why he had a diaper on. I told him that he had watched me put it on him and that he needed it because he had peed in the bed by accident. He was not happy.
Life with an almost four year old is never dull:)
Jack is also a very picky eater, it runs in our family, I understand it because I am a picky eater too. But two nights ago he kept changing his mind about what he wanted to eat for supper (this is new), after supper was in front of him (he wants control), and I made the mistake of hopping up and down for him and the dogs while I was trying to eat my supper (very bad for my mood).
Yesterday, I printed out pictures of the things he will eat for supper. He doesn't like our food, too spicy, and I am not going to eat his boring food. There are now photos of six different things on the fridge and I told him he can choose what he wants for supper but that once it's made, that's it. He tried different things last night, I need this, I want that, etc but I refused to get up until my meal was done. I had a mother who did this too, the hopping up and down for children and her husband; that needs to stop because it just gets me cranky and shows a lack of respect for me.
So in case anybody thinks everything it's all goodness and light in our home, while we raise our grandson, it's not. I love him but he's still a turd at times.
That stage that Jack is going through is a tough one. No doubt about it. It will, however, change. Maybe not for the better but it will be different.ReplyDelete
That's the thing about kids, they're always going through a stage of one kind or another. Hopefully the next stage is slightly more peaceful:)Delete
I don't envy you, but that is one lucky young man.ReplyDelete
He's not any harder than any of my kids and it's nice to only have to deal with one at a time. The hard part is my age.Delete
Cute meme. My older grandson is in that stage too and is a sweetheart but also a pill. He changes his mind constantly while his parents try to stay firm and put up with the tantrums. But ugh. Best of luck!ReplyDelete
They're interesting little people, that's for sure. He does test my patience but that's not a bad thing, it needs testing.Delete
I usually found, when my son was little and going through stages, that just at the point when I was at the end of my rope he would move into the next stage. It was almost magical.ReplyDelete
Hoping this will work for you too!
Fingers crossed then.Delete
Jack has a large personality! My son was a very easy child, I know how lucky I was. You are so good with him, he is one lucky little boy. I's also good to know Lucy is doing better.ReplyDelete
Jack does have a large personality, that's a good way to put it.Delete
Was thinking some more about stages. Realized that my guiding light was the books from Gesell, actually based on research done in the 1940s. They interviewed a whole bunch of children longitudinally frequently as they grew from infancy. And then just wrote down what they found were common patterns. (Well, they also formed a weird theory about body type and personality but we can ignore that)ReplyDelete
The Big abstract takeaway for me was that growth depends on the sequence of disorganization followed by organization; then you can't go forward without another disorganization stage. I actually found it applied when I was trying to learn to play golf. To change your swing you had to take the whole thing apart and start from the bottom. Tweaking didn't work.
So the upshot for raising a child is that horrible is followed by fine followed by horrible repeat repeat.
The books actually detailed the sequence in dispassionate language. I was dismayed when acquaintances were punishing their male child of six for sh*ting in the bed. A couple of years later I read in Gesell, "The 6-year-old boy has a tendency to lose control of his bowels." If only they had known.
So what's available now is still based on this and I think you have to take into account cultural and time differences, but the basic stuff probably still applies. I googled And the most recent book is still quite old but available used. The authors now are Ilg and Ames. And oops I had copied the link but the clipboard is lost it. Another comment.
Thanks for the info Sally. I remember when my kids were little and there would be good times and then bad times and then good times again, a never ending spiral, but what you say makes sense. I'll take a look for the book.Delete
Kids that age will never let you win an argument, but then kids MY age are the same.ReplyDelete
I told my husband that, never argue with a four year old, you will never win.Delete
Child Behavior: The Classic Child Care Manual from the Gesell Institute of Human DevelopmentReplyDelete
Francis Ilg (ilg)
Louise Bates Ames
It may be that this stuff has been absorbed into current child advice; Ames apparently coined the term "terrible twos"--but at least 40 years ago my friend the PhD in developmental psychology had not heard of it.
Hope this might be of some use... I really felt they saved my bacon. (You do have to use your critical sense and ignore stuff that feels wrong. their data set is middle class white suburban children in the '40s or before. Actually it's interesting to see what's changed; perspective is useful.)
Thank goodness for walks with dogs in dog parks! And that Lucy can still enjoy them with you. I'm not a mother, much less a grandmother, but if I were I would look to you as a role model. I can't imagine a better grandmother for Jack, and I have no illusions about the challenges you face in raising Jack.ReplyDelete
Your sense of humor keeps on keeping on (-:
I'm not a good role model. I think I was kind of a shitty mother, even though I tried hard. I'm a better grandmother than I was a mother, more patient and less bothered by things. I love a good laugh.Delete
You are doing a wonderful job with Jack. I love the idea of the pictures on the fridge. It is important that he learns early that you are important, too. I have high hopes for his future. You are amazing.ReplyDelete
I didn't know what else to do. He was driving me crazy with the I want this, I want that. Now it's up to him and it's visual for him.Delete
Oh I admire your guts and determination - I certainly don’t envy you at the moment. All those ‘interesting’ stages in a child’s life are coming back to me……the tantrum in a shopping centre is one I’d never wish on anybody.ReplyDelete
Good news about Lucy. We used to have an old boxer named Ruby who took a diuretic. The only downside is it caused her to pee so much it was hard to keep her from peeing in the house. Hopefully this won't be a problem for you!ReplyDelete
Those episodes with Jack sound like you were both having "one of those days"!
We tend to forget, but yes, I admit it. "Discussion" about food was a staple pastime with my four year old (and older) and I watch with glee as she maneuvers her way through the same subjects with her own child now.ReplyDelete
I am impressed with your stamina. I'd like to say "this, too, will pass" but having never had children, I have no idea when things get better. Here's hoping it's soon.ReplyDelete
I am a big fan of the continued Lego building. I am obviously not ready for grandkids. Thankfully none of my children are having any.ReplyDelete
I think we all just do the best we can. And you certainly are doing a lot. Jack is lucky to have you and your husband. My mom was definitely a better grandmother than mother; I have tried my best, so I guess it is up to my kids to determine how good a mom I am.ReplyDelete
This just seems like real life to me! I remember these days well.ReplyDelete
Raising our kids they had to eat what they were given. No pandering. No chink in our armour.ReplyDelete
"Mummy mummy! I don't like my little sister!"
"Shut up and eat what you are given!"
We had our Granddaughter to stay last weekend and she's very good but I still felt exhausted the next day. Well done you.ReplyDelete