Once again I feel like a piano is tied to my ass.  We've decided to sell our condo and use that money to pay down the mortgage. I hate dealing with realtors, renters and appointments, maybe that's what's bugging me.  There's also no sunshine this morning, so there's that.

Poor Jack has had accidents the last two nights which have upset him.  Plus he's got sore legs from running so hard and playing so hard on Saturday.  I've never seen an almost four year old limp from sore muscles.  He wants us to carry him.  Dude, you weigh forty pounds.  

Jack seems to be entering a new phase right now and has become more diffiuclt at times.  He is very articulate and I think people (his grandparents) probably expect more from him because his is so very good with words, but he's still a little guy. Almost four year olds are supposed to be stubborn, bossy and defiant; it's part of normal development.  He's also starting to understand how powerful words are and uses them like a weapon at times, also normal.  Last night he was mad at me and pulled some leaves off a plant of mine.  On Saturday I told him it was time to leave the playplace and he pulled my hair, hard.  He drives his poppa crazy with the Lego.  His poppa builds the Lego and Jack literally destroys it.  He doesn't understand that it shows a lack of respect for his poppa's time and energy, but Jack only wants  something built so he can take it apart.  It's the destruction that he wants.

I mentioned to somebody (Debby) this weekend that I only want peace and quiet.  If I want peace and quiet, it's up to me to do that, not others.  I need to put limits on what others can expect of me, including Jack and his poppa.  I really do want a peaceful life where a dog walk in the afternoon is not something requiring a lot of planning but rather something I can just slip out and do.  I take good care of everyone else but not me, something which is looming large with me with my return to work in March.  These past five months of staying home, while boring at times, has greatly reduced my stress (except for my son and his families) and I want to keep that in my life.  Work can be very stressful at times, who am I kidding, most of the time.  Plus there is everything around the house that still needs to be done.  I did it before but not sure how I feel about doing it again.  Resentful maybe:)