How to make cookies.

Look at the recipe and realize that all your butter is frozen.

Go out to the mudroom and take a couple of pounds of butter out of the freezer.

Put frozen butter on counter and then realize it will take way too long to warm up.

Put one pound of butter in microwave to defrost.

Let the dog out.

Keep checking the butter in the microwave because you don't want it melted.

Let the dog back in.

Ready to chop up the nuts.  

Realize the nut container is almost empty.

Drag the chair over to the cupboard to check for more nuts at top of cupboard.

No nuts in baking cupboard.  

Get off chair, open pantry door and slide chair into pantry, check for nuts.

Nuts found at back of pantry, top shelf.

Chop up two cups of nuts.

Let the cat outside.

Start to chop up the glace cherries.

Grandchild finally notices what you're doing and asks, what dat?

Tell grandchild to please let the cat in.

Butter still not ready.

Assemble the rest of the ingredients.

Grandchild definitely now interested, insists he help with measuring of cocoa.

Let other dog out.

Start to cream butter.

Grandchild wants to hold mixer, pulls chair over to help.

Tell grandchild he has to wash his hands first.

Take grandchild to bathroom, turn on taps and give him soap.  Turn off taps.

Grandchild calls in about three minutes to say he is done.

Turn taps back on and rinse soap off of grandchild's hands and dry them.

Grandchild up on chair and then counter.

Grandchild is being toilet trained so has no diaper on, sits on counter with bare bum.

Grandchild turns mixer up to highest speed.

Butter sprays across kitchen.

Dog now in kitchen, licking up butter.

Add sugar to creamed butter and beat together.

More butter and sugar spray.

More dog licking.

Wooden spoon has migrated to spot on counter that had contact with bare bum.

Wooden spoon moved to sink and new wooden spoon located and placed away from bare bum contact.

Grandchild wants to lick beaters.

Explain that it's only butter and sugar.  

This does not deter grandchild.

Let dog outside.

Dry ingredients added to butter and sugar mixture.

Grandchild wants to mix the dough but is not able to, I not strong enough?

Grandchild continues to lick beaters.

Beat together all ingredients by hand with clean wooden spoon that has not been near the bare bum.

Transfer all ingredients to a larger bowl because you made a double recipe and don't have room to properly mix ingredients.

Cover bowl with saran wrap and place in fridge.

Clean grandchild's hands and face. 

Let dog back inside.

Clean up butter and sugar spray that dogs have missed.

At this point you will be too tired to continue on with making the cookies.

Leave in fridge until you have the energy to roll the cookies and bake them.

Place in freezer for Christmas.