Saturday, December 18, 2021






This was the sun through the kitchen and family room windows yesterday morning at 9:30.  The poor sun is having a hard time making it above the horizon.  Three more days until the solstice and the days start getting longer.  We've had a lot of snow this week too and of course it's bloody cold.  It got down to -29C two nights ago.  I hate the cold and the dogs aren't keen on it either.  Even Heidi, our bigger dog was having a hard time with cold feet.

I had a long conversation today with Jack's social worker.  She was surprised that Gracie didn't show up for the court hearing and was also surprised to hear that Gracie's family is leaving the country for a month.  I told her the whole thing felt like a big fuck you to us, to Jack and even to Gracie.  There's not anything she can do though and we will have to wait again until Jan. 25th.  

I got a text message from Lori, Gracie's mom, this morning.  She left me numbers of people who could take care of Jack over the holidays, people I don't know and people Jack doesn't really know either.  It reminded me of my employer, as long as someone has a pulse, they can do the job.  Except no, they can't.  

Jack has lost his grandfather, now his mother is gone and today his grandmother, aunt and uncle are all also leaving.  He's lost a lot in the past two months and he doesn't know why.  Kids usually assume it's something they've done.  What he needs right now, more than ever, is stability and predictability.  He's going to have a good Christmas despite everything and strangers are not going to be taking care of him.

I don't think Gracie or her family understand how much their actions affect others, especially Jack.  Often times I am the same way, oblivious to the effect I have on others.  But I do try to be mindful and I do feel a huge responsibility to this small human who has been placed in my care.  

Merry Christmas, sincerely.





14 comments:

  1. Really? Lori thinks that you'd just shuffle Jack off to some complete stranger? This might explain a lot about why Gracie is the way she is.

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  2. Your houseplants look so happy to be inside!

    I've said it before, but thank goodness that Jack has you. Ms Moon thought the same thing I did -- sounds like Gracie is a product of her own upbringing.

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  3. On the other hand -- I'm replying to my own comment, here -- it's probably unfair to blame the parents for the child. Gracie has made her own choices, hasn't she?

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    1. Wait -- my first comment didn't show up but my second one did! I'm confused!

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    2. Oh, I see it now. Sorry for the comment spam. :)

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  4. Wow, here's a list of strangers who will take Jack off your hands for a few hours!!! Dear God, just when you think they can't get any more thoughtless!

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  5. In this post, you've helped me to see Gracie in the increasingly apparent context of her blatantly dysfunctional family. It's a sobering and eye-opening and tragic vision. Jack does not need to be part of that train wreck anymore than he already has been. So many children grow up in families who have no capacity to give them safety and security. Jack is safe and secure with you and his Poppa. I continue to focus on the day that permanent guardianship is given to you and the Big Guy. I see it coming. Sending love.

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  6. Some people think children are so adaptable and so dense that nothing much really matters to them. Crazy, isn't it! Kind of like the way people assume they can shuffle their dogs from one home to another without explaining what's happening or asking what they'd prefer. Dogs have no choice, kids have no choice. Mostly. Not that either would always make the wisest choices, but still. -Kate

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  7. Do not fret Little Jack. Santa Claus is coming and he has some special presents in his sack just for you.

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  8. Beautiful view! I always tell myself that I love cold clear weather, but NOT that cold. I have no clothes or coats that would allow me to go outside. :) I am once again left nonplussed by the selfishness and clueless behavior of Gracie's family. It is so fortunate that Jack has the Big Guy and you in his life.

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  9. How nice of Jack's other grandmother to provide a list of random strangers to take care of him. That speaks volumes about being clueless. I hope this goes your way, family court can be so random sometimes.

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  10. You have such an eye for beauty. And an abundance of love and empathy for little Jack.

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  11. Sending you strength and love. I hope the universe eases up on you, gives you some rest and care during the times ahead.

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  12. Jack will have a good Christmas with you and the big guy. He is safe, protected, and loved in your care.

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