Gracie came over for a supervised visit on Wednesday with her brother. Her brother is such a sweet guy and Jack just loves him. Gracie bought a bunch of toys for him because she thinks you can buy love? I don't know. That's just how I feel. She's never apologized to Jack, she just goes on as if nothing has happened. It was a long two and a half hour visit. At one point she locked Jack in Heidi's kennel and thought that was funny. I immediately got him out of there. WTF! She was also screaming when she was playing with him. A couple of times I almost yelled Jesus!, she scared me so bad. She kept asking Jack if he loved her and did he miss her. She wanted him to shower her with hugs and kisses. She is a bottomless pit of need and expects a 2 1/2 year old to fill that pit. I don't like having her here but this is not about me.
The more time I spend with her, the more I wonder if she is mentally ill. During the meeting we had on Monday afternoon she was very manipulative and refused to acknowledge that she had done anything wrong. She was angry and wanted her own way. She tends to talk in circles but when you really listen, she says nothing. Right now Jack remains in our care, she can have two supervised visits a week, one at our house and one at her mother's house. There was much drama and crying and yelling. It was exhausting but I was impressed with Gracie's mother who told the truth, even when it was uncomfortable. I also told everyone that I was concerned about Gracie's verbal abuse towards her mother. Gracie is angry with everyone except herself it would seem but again, I have no idea what she's thinking.
It was nice to be back with my patients again. Their grief can be heavy sometimes but I feel like I can at least do a little something to make their journey easier. I had a new patient yesterday who at first seemed very needy until I sat down and talked to her. Six weeks ago she had emergency surgery because a tumor had completely occluded her bowel and she was obstructed. She also found out that the cancer had invaded the nearby lymph nodes. I talked to her and explained how things work and then I listened to her. Mostly she was worried about her eighteen year old daughter. When I have a chance to listen to patients I feel like I am doing something worthwhile in the world.
Life continues on. Nothing big which at this point, I am extremely grateful for. Thinks I'm thankful for today.
Roomba to pick up all the dog and cat hair.
Cinnamon toast.
New glasses.
Hugs from the big guy and the little guy.
A very tasty supper last night of sesame chicken.
No snow yet.
Jack is safe.
A day off to catch up.
A tall glass of iced tea to start off the day.
A peaceful home.
Enough money to pay our bills.
Humor.
What are you thankful for today?
I am very thankful that you have things to be thankful for. Is Gracie in any sort of therapy? God knows she needs it but if she doesn't think she does, I doubt it will do any good. For her not to even acknowledge what she did is scary crazy.
ReplyDeleteGracie is trying to get into an addictions counselor and a rehab program but she has a fair number of caveats to go along with her desires apparently. The SW thinks Gracie was too drunk to remember what she did. She is also not allowed to take weed while Jack is awake and in her care, when he does go back.
DeleteI'm thankful little Jack has you two to care for him. In my own life, I'm thankful it is cool outside today.
ReplyDeleteYou can tell we live in much different climes because I am thankful that it's warm out today, 9C or 48F:)
DeleteIt definitely sounds like Gracie has mental health issues doesn't it. I don't know how old she is but she sounds immature, if nothing else. And like Colette said, I'm so glad Jack is with you - that picture is adorable!
ReplyDeleteGracie is thirty four and she is very immature. I love that photo of him. That's how kids sleep, deeply.
DeleteEven before I read the paragraph where you are wondering if Gracie is mentally ill, I was wondering the same thing, given her erratic and extreme behavior during the visit. It is good to know that Jack will no longer have to be alone with Gracie in the foreseeable future, for the sake of his own psychological well-being.
ReplyDeleteI'm grateful that the sun is out after a drenching rain that lasted all night, and I'm grateful to be alive!
I love your photos of Jack.
I'm no psychiatrist but there seem to be pattern of behavior here that signal mental illness. I'm also thankful that her brother stepped up and was willing to supervise her visits, instead of her mother who has enough shit in her life right now.
DeleteThat photo of Jack reminds me of the way cats and dogs sleep when they feel totally, completely safe and secure. The one you posted on Instagram of him with the hose made me laugh out loud with delight. What a joy he is. You and Big Guy are so lucky to have him. (And vice versa, as you know and I don't have to repeat.) -Kate
ReplyDeleteI don't like the sound of Gracie or the style of her parenting. I would also suspect mental illness. I'm glad that her mother is on the side of truth because that could get messy if she wasn't. Jack being in her care would give Gracie too much access to him. I'm a worrier by nature. It's excellent that life is settling into a normal routine and that you have your list of positives to focus on. Humor is so important, isn't it? When my husband was dying, we specialized in black humor, sometimes totally inappropriate but it sure made us laugh.
ReplyDeleteOkay. I am thankful for several things but I am more interested in your situation and how it is developing. Good to hear that you managed two positive days back at work and reminded yourself of the importance of giving patients time to talk.
ReplyDeleteSorry - I meant three days.
DeleteWell, I am grateful for my new socks. After living in the desert for so long, all I had were the short socks. Now my ankles will stay warm this winter.
ReplyDeleteWill the state let Jack go back with Gracie without some sort of mental health evaluation? She doesn't seem like a good parenting choice. Kudos for the brother for stepping up.
I smiled at that photo of Jack, children sleep so deeply no matter where they are! You have a lot on your plate but its good you have stuff in your life to be grateful for. Sending hugs across the internet to you. x
ReplyDeleteThat photo of Jack is terrific! He's like Olga -- he can sleep in any position. LOL
ReplyDeleteI think you're probably on to something, wondering about Gracie's mental health. It certainly seems likely there's some mental illness going on.
I think the question about mental illness with Gracie is a pretty clear yes.
ReplyDeleteWhat an adorable photo of Jack.
I'm Thankful there are Caring people like you in this World that make a difference in all the ways that you can for other people, especially those in Crisis. Gracie does sound Mentally unstable and perhaps has undiagnosed Mental Illness? Mental Illness is difficult for Adults to be in a relationship with someone afflicted, let alone a Toddler or really any aged Child. I'm so glad Jack has great Grandparents on both sides of the Family, that will be Helpful to him in so many ways. We can't make some things Right, but we can stand in the gap.
ReplyDelete