Friday, September 3, 2021


Long Beach.  Well named.  

We made it home from our holidays and it's so nice to be back home.  The big guy fell and hurt his knee the first night of our holidays and it hurt for him to walk and bend his knee.  On the fourth day, Lucy, our beagle, hurt her back and she was in a lot of pain.  There was no vet available in Ucluelet or Tofino so I went online and discovered I could give her baby aspirin, so that's what I did.  The big guy also got anti-inflammatories which helped somewhat.  There was less walking than normal, less photos and more general grumpiness.  

The big guy and Lucy are both feeling much better now and I'm thankful for that.

We saw friends and family while we were away which was wonderful.  I hadn't seen my sister in law in eight years and we just picked up where we left off.  My brother was very odd.  He had visited us in June and had a nice visit and he seemed happy.  He was not very talkative when we got there, wouldn't sit down and just kept busy.  He was supposed to go back to work in July but my sister in law said that didn't work.  He's only just gone back to work now.  I didn't realize how depressed he was.  My sister in law said he was suicidal more than once which is scary.  Of course he didn't talk to me about any of this.  

My brother can be very sarcastic and cutting and he was when we first got there.  He's not that funny and his sarcasm can be mean spirited.  When my sister in law told me how depressed he was though I had a better understanding of him.  He pushes people away and does it with sarcasm.  He's sad but it comes across as anger and just general assholery.  He's like our dad in that way.  

But when I hugged him and told him I loved him he responded in kind.  He lost two good friends these past few months and he's grieving but I don't think he knows how to.  He just pushes everyone away, much like my dad.  Much like me.  

On the upside, it is our fifth anniversary today.  We often forget and don't really celebrate but tonight I made a special supper and dessert.  I'm thankful I met the big guy.  

Covid numbers continue to rise in Alberta and our Premier finally showed up today to address this issue.  It wasn't much but it was better than nothing.  I was so upset last night about the whole thing that I had a hard time falling asleep.  It's so frustrating when you can't fix things, when you don't have control:)  It's hard to accept things, for me anyway.  

We see Jack tomorrow which will be wonderful.  I called Gracie this evening to tell her we're home and she had cancelled her shifts for the weekend because she couldn't get anyone to watch Jack for her.  Her parents didn't want to I guess.  It's the long weekend which means a three day party instead of a two day party.  

The laundry is done and put away.  There are clean sheets on the bed and my kitchen is clean.  When I went to bed last night it was so nice to just be back in my own bed with my things nearby.  I didn't have to arrange anything or look for anything.  My clock was beside my bed and so was my book.  Something I take for granted until I'm away from home.  

I'm thankful we're home.




10 comments:

  1. It's good to get away, especially to the ocean, and good to have a place to call home, isn't it? I so appreciate your honesty about the difficulties and joys of your life and your ability to see what is beautiful and photograph that.

    Congratulations on your lasting marriage. Had not realized you and the big guy had been married for only five years. I love hearing about couples who have made good marriages because I know that they are possible. After a devastating experience of first love at 17 with a man who went to Vietnam and really never came home and a disastrous loveless marriage with another that ended many years ago, that has not come to pass for me. At a deep level, I have been traumatized every time I have entered into a relationship with a man and am experiencing that again currently at age 72. In recent years, I've worked with a therapist whose speciality is children who have suffered from trauma and since the summer of 2020 have been in a support group for the same. I'll be seeing the therapist again in a few days. I continue to hope for a better outcome as I grow in my ability to love myself and know that I am worthy of love. Didn't expect to open up about this when I began commenting about your post. I feel even more hopeful having written down my truth this morning. Thank you for being here.

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  2. Well, if you have to go away to appreciate home, then so be it. Sounds like a less than ideal vacation with an injured man and an injured dog. Enjoy the comforts that you have created.

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  3. Congratulations on your anniversary.

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  4. I'm sure it's great to be back home. Your brother is lucky he has people around him who can look beyond his immediate behavior with a more understanding eye! I'm sorry about the injuries during your trip but at least everyone is feeling better. That beach looks amazing!

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  5. I'm glad you're home. Traveling, while fun, is also work; packing, unpacking, trying to make sense of one's stuff. We always take too much so there is more stuff to keep track of. Congratulations on your anniversary, here's to many more.

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  6. I'm glad you had a restful time, even if it would have been better without the injuries! And I'm really glad you got that "I love you" in with your brother! It's hard to break through a barrier with someone who pushes you away isn't it. But I'm so glad you'll get to see Jack again too. Doesn't say much for his other grandparents though does it! I'm sure he can't wait to see you too!

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  7. Welcome back. I'm sorry there was pain for the Big Guy and Lucy. That's no fun but I am glad you got away for awhile.

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  8. Welcome back! I hope your reunion with little Jack goes well!

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  9. I caught up on your vacation all in one go. What a beautiful place.

    (I am going to check the library for that book.)

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  10. Pixie, what a lot on your plate. I cannot read more right now, because it strikes a bit too close to home. I can tell you that my grandson is now 10 and in middle school, and seems to have weathered the worst of it just fine.

    I struggle a lot with depression. Have for most of my life.

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