Friday, March 20, 2020

My morning coffee break in the sunroom.  Tables and chairs have been turned upside down and the remaining tables are all spread apart so that we can have social distancing.  Normally this room is full, of tables and people.

Work involves more questions, more uncertainity, more paranoia and more work because there is now more cleaning going on as well as everything else.

It feels like we're all just waiting to get sick.  It's coming.  We know it's coming but we don't know when.  I have a cough.  It's my stomach, right?  I've had a chronic cough for a year or two due to acid reflux.  The medications I use to reduce the acid make me feel suicidal so I take them sparingly.  Every time anyone coughs now, all eyes are on that person.  I sneezed at the end of my shift, very loudly because I always sneeze loudly and one of the young nurses said, "COVID"  instead of bless you.  I thought it was funny but then a part of my wonders, is this it?  Am I getting sick?

I check my temperature at the beginning of my shift and at the end of my shift.  I'm running my ass off and sweating and then I'm cold and then I have a hot flash so I have no idea if I have a fever.  I don't but I have to take my temperature to prove that to myself.  

Am I short of breath?  Maybe.  I don't know.

I'm tired even though it's really only the first week here where things have really changed.  Restaurants only have take out.  There is no chicken for sale at Sobeys, or pasta, or canned tomatoes, or...  The drive to work is faster because there are fewer cars on the road.  Signs up on windows, "We're Closed Due To COVID-19".  The off leash dog park got shut down, even though it's huge and outdoors and people don't congregate and we need fresh air now more than ever.  

It's the first week of what will be a long campaign in dealing with COVID-19 and I'm already tired.  I am thankful I don't have children in daycare or school though, there's that.  My neighbor's kids have been sleeping with her all week because they're terrified.  

Everybody is anxious.  I'm anxious.  I'm stress baking.  It's hard to sleep.  It's kinda scary.

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