Tuesday, December 24, 2019

Christmas day tomorrow.  The little guy has been staying with us since Saturday.  Gracie is struggling again.  I try not to overthink the future but my mind does wander there.  What will happen?  Gracie is supposed to go back to work in a few months and she can't cope with staying home and taking care of the little guy.  I don't know how she'll manage with work and taking care of him.  She's staying at someone else's place right now, don't know who the house belongs to or what she's doing.

The little guy is happy here.  His diaper rash has cleared up.  He's sleeping well.  He had the worst diaper rash and when I suggested to Gracie that she needed to change his diaper every two hours she looked at me like I was crazy.  I've changed his diaper a lot, washed his burned little bum, applied lots of cream and his skin has healed up.

I hate uncertainty and yet it is the way of the world.  Wait and see and I'm so damned impatient.  I can't see Gracie getting her shit together.  My son is still missing, either avoiding the police or in jail.  We haven't heard from him since early September.  Not sure what to do or how to do anything.

Babies deserve better.  And how do you approach somebody and ask them if they can manage to care for their own child without alienating them?  As grandparents we have no rights.  It's a fine line.

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