Friday, February 22, 2019

I was here a year ago, visiting my middle daughter.  She loves living in Vancouver, not all the time but most of the time.  I spoke to her on the phone the other night and she was happy.  Most of the time the only I hear from her she is going somewhere, driving home from work, going for groceries, or in this case, walking to her boyfriend's place after work.

She was excited because she found an apartment she can afford on her own.  She's never lived on her own.  She got a promotion at work and a raise.  She's happy with her boyfriend.  She's happy and independent which is what I always wanted for my children but I feel a little bereft which is my problem.

Katie is also doing well.  She still needs me but it is not one crisis after another.  Now we take her out for lunch and enjoy her company.  She is healthy and happy.

My son is another story but I have come to accept that I can't fix him, only he can do that.  I've also, mostly, stopped blaming myself for his addictions and behavior.  I have told him that I love him and that's all I can really do.  I will not be drawn into his lies and addictions.  I have a relationship with his baby's mama and I'm glad for that.  It breaks my heart that he is missing out on so much but again, not my fault.

I've been sick with a cold all week and I hate being sick.  I don't like sitting around all day, skin hurting, throat hurting, head pounding.  I'll be better soon but I am an impatient cow:)

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