It's been a difficult week.  My son is back in jail.  Apparently he had a no contact order with his girlfriend from back in July, before she got pregnant.  Both of them ignored the order, he moved in and she got pregnant.  He's been drinking and using drugs heavily.  Monday night he was high on crystal meth, I'm guessing, hallucinating, yelling, scaring his girlfriend.

She wanted him out of the apartment and was yelling at him.  The police were called and he wouldn't let her open the door for the police because of the no contact order.  So the door was smashed in and both of them were handcuffed until it got sorted out.  So my son is back in jail.  Gracie is alone with a broken down door and wants nothing to do with my son.  I can't blame her.  I feel the same way.

I'm done with him.  This has been going on for almost twenty years.  Each time I think it can't get any worse, it does.  The lies, the drinking, the drugs, the porn, the promiscuity.

I am a naïve, gullible woman, especially when it comes to my children, but in general as well.  When I was a child I remember watching a TV show about a court trial, both sides promised to tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth.  I thought to myself, what a wonderful idea.  Everyone tells the truth and everything will get sorted out right away.  There is still a part of me that believes this.

Last month I was assaulted at work by a coworker.  This woman used to rent our condo from us. She was chronically late with her rent, everything was always an issue, she moved a dog into the condo without asking us and took fifteen months to pay her damage deposit.  She was angry with me because I told her the condo was filthy when she left it and I charged her for cleaning it.  She also broke the dishwasher, wrecked the brand new countertops and let black mold grow in the bathroom.  I was standing in the hallway talking to a doctor when someone hip checked me from behind and then hit me in the back with their elbow.  I looked around and saw her walking down the hallway.  I yelled, "Excuse me?" down the hall at her and she just ignored me.

So I complained and of course it's my word against her word.  She says it was an accident and I can't prove that she hit me in the back because only her and I felt that.  I did get into trouble for yelling at her, so there's that.  This woman fucks up her job all the time.  She abuses people verbally on the phone.  She hides work instead of doing her work.  She is responsible for out of province billing and just doesn't bother doing it, losing our departments thousands of dollars.  She's a liar and spends most of the day on her phone.  I do my job, I don't lie and I am not believed.  WTF!

I'm kind of done with people in general right now.  Tired of being lied to.  Tired of shit.  I want to hide away for awhile.

As for my grandchild, I'm not sure what to do.  I know my heart won't take losing another grandchild and yet, being in that child's life will surely break my heart as well.