I'm trying hard not to think too much about Katie. Her father is here this weekend and I imagine they went to Fort Edmonton Park which is her favourite place on earth. The staff and volunteers there all know her by name.
I finally slept in this morning and felt like I had enough sleep for the first time in a week. Made a run to Costco to pick up vanilla but the line ups, at ten a.m., where fifteen deep and I turned around and walked out. There is nothing I want badly enough to stand in a lineup like that.
I did pick up the photos of my granddaughters though. My very kind in-laws take photos of our granddaughters and then send them to us. It's heart breaking to see them grow up and not be able to spend time with them but it is wonderful to see them growing.
Then I went to Superstore to pick up a few groceries I started to have some free floating anxiety. I rarely feel anxious, depressed is my preferred mood disorder. But I felt anxious and it continued all the way home. Worry about Katie. Worry about my son. I talked to my middle daughter and that helped a little but the anxiety was still there.
So I dragged out the quilt I'm working on and finished it up. It requires attention to detail but it's not difficult to do. It keeps my mind a little busy, too busy to be anxious, but not busy enough to make me tired. The quilt is finished and the anxiety is gone which is a nice feeling.
I invited a friend over for supper. She is a nurse I've worked with off and on for the past seven years. Off and on because she has bi-polar disorder and ends up on disability on a regular basis. She's a lovely, smart, funny woman whom I love. We chatted about life, work, children, hockey. The big guy barbecued some chicken for us and we had a nice meal with good company. My girlfriend had a home cooked meal, she's doesn't cook much, and it was so nice to see her. She's been off work for ten months this time. Bi-polar disorder is a difficult way to live.
I'm reading a good book right now by Ian Brown, Sixty. It's about his life in his sixty-first year. I'm enjoying it.
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