A week and a half ago Katie had a meltdown at home, not sure why because I wasn't there, and during her outburst, she threw herself off a kitchen chair and landed on her left elbow, we think. 

Her staff didn't realize that she had broken her arm;  she complained of pain and they put some ice on it and gave her some Tylenol.  They didn't call me to let me know that she had fallen.

They next morning her arm was swollen and the team leader decided to send her to emergency and that's when they let me know that she had hurt her arm.  24 hours later.

We were short staffed at work and I decided to stay at work instead of sit in emergency all day but wanted updates.  She finally got some x-rays done at 2 pm and by 4:30 pm she was on her way home.  The big guy and I went over after work to check on her and she was having pain and had her arm in a half slab.  I gave her naproxen and tried to find out what happened.  Nobody knew exactly when or how she broke her arm.  I got an incident report and sent emails to the agency asking for more information.  

I wanted to know how my daughter broke her arm and why she was sent home with the only plain Tylenol for pain relief.

So the next day I happened to be off to take Katie to a psych appointment and talked to the team leader and found out that he thinks she hurt her elbow when she fell off/threw herself off the kitchen chair.  I was satisfied with his explanation but still wanted more information about follow-up care.   He said he would work on that and he did.

On Thursday I got a call from the ortho surgeon's office who had cared for Katie a year ago telling me she would be seen this week which was good. 

And then that evening I got an email from the owner of the agency that cares for Katie giving her notice of eviction with the #1 reason for evicting her as " The recent incident with Katie breaking her arm again.  It appears our explanation on how this incident happened was not met with much belief from her primary guardian (me).  The guardian believes Katie broke her arm not by tossing herself off her recliner but earlier in the day.  We won't know for sure exactly but the disbelief shows a lack of confidence in us."  The #4 reason was low staff morale.

Sadly this sent me into a tailspin of crying and much wringing of hands.  I didn't respond to his email until this week but I was shocked and saddened.  Then my ex-husband tore into me telling me this was all my fault.

I have managed to right myself this week.  Katie will not need another surgery thank goodness but the surgeon can't figure out how Katie managed to break her arm again without breaking the plate in her arm as well.  She said she's never seen that.  

I don't feel like I did anything wrong by questioning what happened.  In fact I think it is my responsibility to ask what happened.  I don't think there was any abuse.  I believe it was an accident but I wanted information on how it happened.  Katie has two full time caregivers and she still managed to break her arm.  

  

When you grew up with crazy, when you lived most of your life with crazy, you learn to second guess yourself.  When people always tell you it's your fault, you start to believe them.  But this week I stopped believing them.  It's not crazy to advocate for your disabled daughter.  It's not crazy to stand up to bullshit.  It's not crazy to ask for information, to demand an accounting.  

And always the big guy is there, supporting me.  He has my back.  He loves Katie like his own.  We're not the crazy ones here.

Baby steps people.  Always baby steps.