When I rolled over to get out of bed this morning the whole world started spinning. I have vertigo, benign paroxysmal positional vertigo, which means it comes and goes and it isn't going to kill me, unless I fall down the stairs. Sometimes it's mild, sometimes it's stomach turning. This morning I walked out to the kitchen like a toddler, unsure of my footing. I sat down and my stomach started churning. I tried the Epley Maneuver, three times and the vertigo improved only slightly. Finally I gave up and lay down.
The big guy went to work without me and I dreamed of a very nice doctor who came and helped me with my vertigo. He was an older man, so kind and tender it was lovely. I felt so safe, the kind of safe you feel when you're a kid and your mum can still give you that feeling. I'm still a little dizzy but I can walk now without hanging onto walls which is nice.
I went to see my doctor the other day to try and figure out why I'm so tired all the time. We talked about life, work, stress, exercise. She's a lovely woman who actually listens and doesn't rush you. She suggested I figure out a way to work less and told me to relax more. I don't relax. I do. I go. I always have a list of things that that need to be done. The big guy laughs at me because of my lists. Maybe I need to let go of my lists.
For so many years I took care of Katie. Then I took care of my mum. Now I'm taking care of my patients. I'm not good at taking care of myself. So today my poor body made me lie down, slowed me down. Time to find a better balance for myself.
It sounds like your adrenals are running on high alert. Which makes sense because you have spent so many years having to be attuned to so much. Even now. I have no suggestions. Maybe a naturopath?
ReplyDeleteIt is good you know this (time to find a better balance for yourself).
ReplyDeleteI know of several women who have vertigo, and it sounds awful. You do need to take care of yourself. I think you will. I hope that writing it down here helps you to follow through. Ask us to remind you of it.
ReplyDeleteI have Meniere's Syndrome, so understand completely. I find that the Epley maneuver almost always works like a charm for me, so I'm sad it doesn't work as well for you!
ReplyDeleteWell, you are the first blogger who has vertigo and writes about it. What am I saying, of course many people have vertigo but still, you wrote this post that made sense to me. I could say that I am completely familiar and at home with what you wrote if it wouldn't sound so smug considering how shitty vertigo is. (I have an autoimmune disease which also affects my inner ears and vertigo has become my middle name, it seems.)
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