Thursday, January 22, 2015

One of the big guy's images.

I visited my girlfriend on Sunday evening.  I made crème brulee and wanted to drop it off for her. Her husband invited me in and I walked into the family room.  I saw an old Chinese man sitting on the coach, except it wasn't an old Chinese man, it was my girlfriend.  I didn't stay long, their dog was sick and my girlfriend wasn't feeling great.  When I got in the car and drove away I couldn't stop crying.  I couldn't believe I didn't recognize my friend. 

I don't know how to let go of someone I love who is not part of my family.  I can't park myself there.  I'm not her family but I want so badly to take care of her, to take care of all of them.  When I was there on Sunday evening her three girls were all sitting in the family room as well, freshly showered, in their bathrobes.  What was so comforting for me was how peaceful it was there.  Three teenage girls, a sick dog, a sick mom and a father who's taking care of everyone and their home still felt peaceful.  I guess I need to find a way to say goodbye that doesn't invade my friend's family's space. 

Tomorrow I have a job interview in Nuclear Medicine.  The job entails organizing and arranging care for a group of patients with neuroendocrine tumors.  The clinic/hospital that I work at is one of only three in North America that provides lutetium therapy to patients with neuroendocrine tumors.  The job would allow me to grow and learn as a nurse.  I've been studying and doing research for a couple of weeks for my interview.  I really hope I get the job.


  1. I am so sorry about your friend - that's just so hard.

  2. Just being there for your friend means so much. You could ask her family to sit with her so they can get out from time to time. When my mom was sick he was desperate for a respite.

    I hope you get this new posting. It sounds very challenging.

  3. i hope you get the job, deb. i'm adding you to my infrequent but still sincere prayer beads.

    this is so heartbreaking. when my best friend willa died, i asked her and her daughter what i could do and how much time i could spend with her. they were both honest that her remaining time and energy had to be managed, and there were other loved people besides me. it helped me to know what was best for her and her kids.

    thinking of you with love