Tuesday, November 11, 2014

I had a good long cry yesterday.  The big guy listened to me, talked to me and then hugged me.  He loves me, even though I leak tears almost daily.  As Elizabeth said, I am probably depressed.  I feel too much right now.  The pain around me seeps through my skin.  I work in cancer care;  I have friends with cancer now.  It kinda sucks.

I have started exercising again.  Fingers crossed I make the time for myself on a regular basis.  I have been so tired lately that I saw my doctor.  Everything is fine with my blood work.  I'm not as young as I once was but best treatment for fatigue is exercise.  It's just hard to fit in with full time work. 

I've been depressed for most of my life, off and on.  It sneaks up on me.  I'm not the kind of depressed person that takes to my bed.  I still work, still cook, still clean.  I just feel everything too much.  The boundaries between me and others gets blurred, especially with regards to pain.  Sigh.


  1. one of these days it's all going to fall into place for you. i know this because you show up every day and you try everyday. it's a tough thing to work with cancer and have friends with cancer. i'll bet your friend finds great comfort from you.


  2. That exercise! Though I hate exercise I know that it keeps the depression away. I have been going to the pool for four months now and I admit, I feel so much better. I am even down over 20 pounds. The other thing I have to do is meditate and be Mindful.

    As for feeling everything too much.... Do you find that yes, you feel sadness very deeply but also feel that you have the ability to feel more joy than others?