When I was a young woman, I didn't like myself, or my personality.  I always wanted to be a better person, less impatient, less angry, less judgemental, and less impulsive.  Turns out that these are all part of who I am and all part of ADHD.  

I'm in my sixties now and I have mellowed.  I also understand ADHD much better and what happens when I become overstimulated, or too hungry, and now I try to take steps to fix that before all hell breaks loose.  I'm also trying to teach Jack that as well, but it's hard because he's so much like me.  I'm much kinder to myself now, which is good, and I want Jack to be kind to himself as well.  It's not easy because sometimes I feel too broken to be of much help to him, but I try.

I think the best thing about getting older, is this acceptance of myself, including my flaws.  I will never be as patient as some people (my husband), but I can see both sides of an argument.  I will never stop being impulsive, but I have learned to think things through, and I've also lived long enough now to know how things work out.  It's not my first time, or even my fifth time around the track. I know what will happen with certain actions because I've already done it, or seen someone else try something and fail.  

I'm still judgemental which is something I struggle with but sometimes judgement is required.  It's funny, judgement is okay, but judgemental is not okay.  Like anything, too much is not usually a good thing. 

I have a strong sense of responsibility (raising my grandson) but I'm also resentful at times that I'm raising my grandson.  This causes me some cognitive dissonance and now that I know what cognitive dissonance is, I can address it.  I believe Jack is our responsibility but I often chafe against the restraints of raising a six year old in my sixties.  I felt the same way about Katie, and god knows Katie had a huge hand in shaping who I am today.  On the upside, I'm still playing soccer in my sixties, so there's that:)  They are both my hard gifts.

I think what I like best about myself, is my sense of humour.  Yesterday I had to take Katie to see her doctor for her annual physical which is always an ordeal.  The receptionist and I were trying to get Katie to stand up straight so the receptionist could measure Katie's height.  We were all three of us in a tight corner and the receptionist is an old lady, who is also very short.  As we're trying to get Katie to cooperate, because she doesn't understand what we want, Katie leans forward and kiss the receptionist on the cheek.  I started laughing and I have a loud laugh.  Everybody was kind of chuckling by the end of it, and the doctor also got a hug and a kiss.  Miss Katie also has an excellent sense of humour, her favorite thing, swear words, they make her laugh, which makes me laugh.  We're quite the pair.