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We had a BBQ last night and the nurses I used to work with came. It was lovely and low key. One of the nurses is now on permanent disability (back surgeries) and I hadn't seen her in a year. She just kicked her boyfriend of six years out of her apartment and will be moving into her father's condo who is now in extended care. What I didn't know is that her ex-boyfriend was/is emotionally and physically abusive. She has a restraining order, changed the locks, and is moving. My heart breaks for her but I'm so proud of her as well for standing up to him and taking back her life. She looked like her old self.
The nurses traded gossip, talked about the changes at work, talked about managers and directors and docs, kids played in the yard and treefort, and we ate burgers and hotodgs. Nothing fancy, just good company. It was the best evening I've had in a long time. Lots of love and laughter.
Last weekend Jack didn't get to visit his mama because the aunt/guardian who usually surpervises their visits was in BC for the long weekend. She didn't bother to tell us or Gracie that she would be out of town. Gracie's mom was also out of town, at the lake. I was angry that Jack got screwed over because nobody could be bothered to communicate with us or each other. What really happened is Gracie's sister hates confrontation, so instead of dealing with Gracie, she left it up to her mom who didn't tell anyone, because her children are adults and should be dealing with things themselves.
This weekend, I contacted everybody ahead of time because I am tired of all the drama, anger, and bullshit. Jack is visiting his mom now. I hate being the only adult in the room.
Otherwise, not much going on.
Charlie and I got out for a walk after the rain. The yellow flowers, roundup ready canola, or herbicide resistant canola that grows everywhere and you can't kill. Thanks Monsanto.
That sounds like plenty going on! And there are few things better than getting together with old friends.
ReplyDeleteI did very little to prepare and wasn't a great host, but we still had a nice time. I miss those women and it was so great to catch up and get lots of hugs.
DeleteWell it looks that at least you got your minecraft saber handy to keep the peace.
ReplyDeleteGood eyes! That is indeed Jack's minecraft saber that he got at a birthday party a couple of weeks ago. As most toys, it was interesting for about a week and now I don't even know where it is:)
DeleteWhat is that on the carpet behind Bagheera? Does he have his own sword?
ReplyDeleteBagheera is a queen, she has no use for swords, she was claws with which to shred adversaries:)
DeleteWell, at least there WAS an Adult in the Room my Friend, which is always beneficial to Jack. Love that Rug the Cat is on.
ReplyDeleteI found the rug at Winners and loved it. It's also washable, double bonus.
DeleteI’m glad you had that lovely evening with your friends. And the one who took back her life, I hope she’ll have peace now.
ReplyDeleteThat friend has had a lifetime of abuse, first from her mother, then sexual abuse from cousins, and abuse from partners. She's a strong woman who doesn't realize how strong she is.
DeleteI'm so glad you had that evening with your friends. That's priceless.
ReplyDeleteIt was a boon:)
DeleteI'm so glad your colleague got away from that monster. While you know what's going on, it's often very difficult to get away. The restraining order says it all really. I wish her peace and happiness from now on!
ReplyDeleteShe said the same thing, when she was in it, she couldn't see how it had progressed to what it did. She is my "adopted" sister and I wish her peace and happiness too.
DeleteYou absolutely did the right thing in having over your friends. I know it was stressful beforehand but I'm sure you were so glad you did it.
ReplyDeleteI was very glad everyone came over. I used to entertain a lot more but not now. Don't know if it was covid or age or what, but it just doesn't happen much now.
DeleteThe hardest thing was Jack who wanted to organize games and all sorts of shit. He didn't in the end and had a lot more fun with the other kids, unorganized. That says a lot.
It is so good to spend time with friends. We always tend to overthink hosting, when really all people want is your company. I never told my son his bio-dad was picking him up when he was little. Because he often did not show up, so the boy wasn't't disappointed. At least there is one adult in the room.
ReplyDeleteApparently, there are not enough adults in children's lives, I just didn't realize it sadly.
DeleteI used to stress myself out with hosting, this time I did very little and it all worked out just fine. Note to self, calm the fuck down:)
Well, at least the canola is pretty, but that's small satisfaction when dealing with invasive plants.
ReplyDeleteHow annoying about Jack and his visit to his mom. Getting a message out just isn't that hard.
So glad you got to spend time with your nurse friends!
The round up ready canola is impossible to kill and it just self seeds itself, blowing in the wind.
DeleteI told Jack's aunt that she is an adult and a guardian and it's not her mom's responsibility to pass alone messages. She has a phone, she can text us FFS.
The hardest lesson for conflict-avoiders to learn is that there would be way less conflict if they would just communicate. Thank goodness for Jack someone is being a grown up. Hooray for gatherings of friends.
ReplyDeleteIt took me decades to learn that because I always tried to avoid conflict and it never worked. I'm a slow learner and so is Jack's aunt:)
DeleteYour get together sounds fabulous. My retired teacher group and I meet for Happy Hour every month and it is such a comfort--full of laughter and stories. After 6 years, it takes great courage to make that kind of a change; good for your friend! Poor Jack (and you), caught in the middle with a bunch of self-absorbed irresponsible adults. :( Hope his visit with Gracie goes OK.
ReplyDeleteI don't know how his visit went. They went swimming and then his aunt and mom dumped him (my feelings) at his uncle's place until we could pick him up.
DeleteThe main question I have following this blogpost is - What the **** is that metal thing on the rug behind your cat? It looks like giant hair-straighteners but it could be a sword of some description. I am glad that the laid back barbecue went well.
ReplyDeleteSilly man, that is obviously a blow up minecraft sword:)
DeleteThe BBQ was lovely and relaxing, although that might have been the wine I drank.
The yellow flowers of the canola looks good along the road. I don't know what to think about Jack's mother's family. They all sound so self centered. Who is thinking about Jack, besides you and your husband?
ReplyDeleteJack's mother's family is quite self centred, they have their issues. I certainly have my issues too, short tempered and easily frustrated are top of the "issues" list for me:)
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