I took this photo Friday morning I think. As you can see my lilacs are very overgrown, but I'll wait until they're done blooming to trim them. What the photo doesn't show is all the wood scattered around. Both the fort and shed are works in progress.
We took Jack to Elk Island National Park on Saturday and had a long walk there. He did well and didn't bitch or moan about the walk. Progress. He even had a good time and thought the frog was cool.
We had a good walk and survived another Saturday with Jack. He doesn't stop talking or asking questions, which in theory sounds so good. He curious. Yes, he's curious, but it's also very intense and mentally draining. It feels like teaching someone for twelve hours straight, which I suppose it is.
Yesterday he visited his mom. She has no vehicle, and her sister was sick, so my hubby picked her up and dropped her and Jack off at the swimming pool. Apparently she forgot to bring her bankcard, so she couldn't feed Jack. Hubby picked them up at the pool and dropped her off at her apartment, and took Jack out for lunch. Not sure how they got into the pool without money, but maybe she has a low income pass. I don't know how she thinks she can take care of him.
Today she's pissy because she wants him for overnights again and all of the guardians have said no. She's sleeping on a mattress, on the floor of her apartment, her one bedroom apartment. Hubby said the place is filthy and messy, with the scent of cat pee heavy in the air.
When the fire broke out at her old apartment, Gracie was sleeping, at 1:30 in the afternoon. She went back to sleep because apparently, the fire alarms often went off. But then a lot of fire trucks with sirens showed up, and then someone was banging on her door, and a fire fighter had to go into her bedroom to wake her up and get her out of the apartment. That's what concerns me, and the rest of us. I don't know why she couldn't wake up, but usually it's drugs and alcohol for her. Jack is not safe with her, still. I doubt he ever will be.
Jack will be saddled with her for the rest of her life. We'll have to teach him that you can love toxic people, but you don't have to let them drag you down too. Took me many years to learn that one.
That is an adorable photo of Jack. He looks content and happy. It took many years for me to learn about toxic people too. A very hard lesson. I cannot imagine what Jack's life would be like if he lived with his mother.
ReplyDeleteJack wouldn't be able to live with his mother. He would have been in and out of foster care. Jack loves having his photo taken, and someone (not me) taught him how to pose.
DeleteWhat a mess! I'm sad that Jack is stuck with the toxic mother he has. Not his fault at all yet he pays the price in his emotions and confusion about how to deal with her. :( I love seeing happy pictures of him; he's certainly at an exhausting age. As you write, curious and talkative children are great, but VERY draining.
ReplyDeleteSmart kids are like smart dogs, a lot of work and they can get into trouble if ignored.
DeleteYou're doing a wonderful modeling of an orderly and peaceful life for Jack. He looks happy and safe in the picture. I'm so glad he has you. Though his endless questions and focus wear you out. It says a lot that he's still asking, not feeling shut down.
ReplyDeleteThanks. He does wear me out and then I feel so bad. He does have a stable, predictable life with us, which is what kids need.
DeleteI am glad Jack enjoyed himself and did not complain about the long walk times etc. Very cute frog. Sad about his mom, but I am glad he has you two. I hope as he gets older he understands about loving from afar.
ReplyDeleteI hope he understands that caring for his mother is not his responsibility, it's her's. Jack did complain about his legs and back after the walk. He's like an old man sometimes:)
DeleteHe looks safe, secure, and happy, and indeed that frog is cool. Sadly, defining toxic is an important part of navigating life.
ReplyDeleteHe's mostly happy. He struggles with school which bothers me. School was never set up for children who learn differently (all of my children).
DeleteThey will be wise things to teach Jack as he grows up. The lilacs are very pretty and I'm sure the scent will be lovely.
ReplyDeleteThe scent is wonderful. At my old house, I had so many lilacs, and they all bloomed at different times so the scent went on for weeks.
DeleteThat's an excellent photo of Jack. I'm so happy all the guardians said no to overnights. Your lilacs are beautiful. Your whole back yard is beautiful.
ReplyDeleteI'm glad that Jack's grandma and aunt are on the same page as us now. It makes things easier.
DeleteJack has become a handsome little devil. Couldn't you get him a contract for modelling boys' clothes? I am honoured to have the picture of the beaver lodge dedicated to me as I have always been very fond of beavers.
ReplyDeleteI wouldn't want my children or grandchildren in the modeling business. My sister in law wanted my middle daughter to go into modeling and no way. It messes people up.
DeleteIt was the boreal forest that was dedicated to you. I'm sure Shirley appreciates your fondness of beavers:)
Jack is looking very preppy in that photo!
ReplyDeleteHe brought a toque, mittens, and a hoodie in case it was cold. I told him that I would not carry anything, so he wrapped it all around his neck:)
DeleteYou and your husband are saints. I love the pictures! ❤️
ReplyDeleteNot saints at all, feet of clay.
DeleteLove that picture of Jack on the fence ... he is quite the little model!
ReplyDeleteSoembody, I'm guessing his other family, taught him how to pose.
DeleteIt's got to be exhausting to deal with Jack's inquisitiveness, but it seems like that's actually a good sign -- his brain is working well and he wants to understand things. Perhaps those tendencies will help him navigate his complicated relationships with his parents in the future.
ReplyDeleteI wonder where frogs go in the cold Alberta winters?
The frogs here hibernate in the winter. They burrow under the mud, or leaf litter, and some species have natural antifreeze in their bodies.
DeleteIt is exhausting dealing with his questions. He wants to understand things but also has the mind of a six year old, so he just can't understand some things yet. That plus humans are complicated and difficult to explain.
Look at that smart, handsome little guy!
ReplyDeleteAnd no, no one in their right mind would trust his mother to take any kind of care of him. He is so very lucky that you and your husband are there for him. To nurture him in body, mind, and spirit. It is a huge task but you are doing it well. Just look at him- you can see.
He's growing so much. It can't be easy for him, but it could certainly be much worse for him.
DeleteGracie really is a very sad train wreck isn't she, but I'm so glad you have all stood up to her and refused her demands for overnights! Jack is growing up so fast - what a lovely little boy he is!
ReplyDeleteGracie is definitely a train wreck, at least her family understands that now.
DeleteYour patio with lilacs looks very inviting. Also, that boy looks very smart and handsome. You are doing such an important job with him, I am sure he'll never forget that.
ReplyDeleteWe sit on our patio a lot now that we have comfortable furniture:)
DeleteI certainly think he's a handsome boy, and yes, he's smart.
A hard lesson that one. Easier to manage if there are loving non toxic people also in your life. You’ve got him covered there.
ReplyDeleteI hope it's enough.
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