I've been banned from instagram (for now), no reason, no explanation.  My crime if I were to guess, disagreeing with politicians and people who accept lies as facts.  Because I'm such a people pleaser, I feel down, like I've done something wrong, not something right.  I have been silenced which does not feel good at all.

On the upside, it's Jack's birthday today and National Unicorn Day.  On the way to daycare, we stopped and bought a box of fifty Timbits for Jack's daycare.  He was pretty pumped about that and excited to share with everyone.  This morning hubby and I sang him Happy Birthday while he sat with a big smile on his face.  For his birthday present, we bought him a new bike.  Now he has to learn to ride without training wheels:)

Yesterday went well at court, and unless things change drastically, we won't have to go back.  The case was adjourned sine die which means it could be opened in the future, if things changed, but for now, things stay as they are.  We had a long talk with Gracie and her sister afterwards and that went well also, so a win for everyone which is very good.  We talked about TV, bedtimes, school, ADHD, exercise, expectations, and going forward.  You never know what the future will hold because if someone had told me about this conversation three years ago, I wouldn't have believed them.

I also had an appointment with Katie's psychiatrist.  Katie's behavior has not improved, ten incidents in the last month and I'm out of ideas.  The psychiatrist started her on clonidine and I guess we'll see if that helps.  It hurts my heart to see her hurting herself, and having meltdowns.  Maybe this will help.  I also requested an OT consult to check her sensory processing.  A long time ago, Katie had a weighted vest which helped her at school, it gave her more sensory feedback.  I just ordered her a weighted blanket and maybe that might help too.  Sometimes it feels like I've been looking for solutions for her my whole life.  I just want her to feel good and have some peace.

Which brings me to my middle daughter who is being knocked on her ass by MS fatigue, something I didn't even know about before she was diagnosed.  It's not regular tiredness.  Somebody described it as the feeling of staying up all night, having the flu, and having a hangover, all at once.  I want to help her and I can't.  I inadvertently upset her yesterday and I apologized, but I still feel bad.  Fuck MS.

The sun is shining though and it's supposed to go up to 15C today which is lovely and which means I want to be outside.  The garden is still mushy and muddy, but I'll find something to do out there.  I saw tiny crocuses pushing their way up through the dead leaves in the garden.  Plants amaze me.  They don't worry about the weather, or their children, they just do their thing.  Sometimes I wish I could be a tree.